Falling for Rachel Berry
by Rebeliz777
Summary: After all this time I realize that I've been in love with Rachel for so long and this was only the way of faith to tell me to stop wasting time. G!P Rachel.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

**HEAVEN**

The alcohol in my system doesn't allow me to push away whoever it is that has his lips pressed against my own but the sensation it's not necessarily a bad one and instead of pushing, I'm pulling him closer.

I can taste the vodka with clarity and the irony of that statement begs me to stop and think about why exactly I chose vodka tonight. The foreign memory of my drunk parents passed out in the living room couches should be ringing a warning bell but all I want is a scape and that's what I'm getting.

His lips are softer than the ones I've kissed before, fleshy and sweeter than all the ones I've had the misfortune of tasting. I should stop, I should say no and make him back away but I can't do that and instead I warp my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me.

His weight is not crashing me down wherever it is that we're lying and the heat of his body awakes a new flame in my skin, a new desire and I want more of him. I want to feel him everywhere.

I feel him move his weight a little bit closer and I hug him with my legs as I push his shirt over his head. He helps me get rid of the offending item and then his lips are claiming mine in a searing kiss one more time.

He laughs as I ran my nails on his defined abs and his teeth find my neck. I moan when he sucks harder on my sensitive skin and I know there will be a mark to cover tomorrow and a lot of explaining to do because of it but I don't care.

He sucks on my bottom lip and when he moves down to kiss a path right to the valley of my breasts I pull him back up. He'll be the first one to go there, to see me bare but I'm beyond of myself to care and I let him touch me where no one else ever has.

The thought of cheating on my boyfriend never even crossed my mind before tonight and to be honest I don't even remember agreeing to anything but it's happening now and I don't have the willpower to do anything to stop it nor do I want to.

His hands feel extremely soft and with a foggy stare I notice that my jacket and shirt are nowhere near me, the only thing covering my breast is my light yellow bra but I don't feel anything beside the desire to have his hands on me and that need overpowers everything else.

I'm glad for the vodka running free through my veins because I wouldn't be able to do this if my shame hadn't been pushed out of my system.

The arms of sleep are wrapping me whole and what happens next is nothing short but a fog of a memory.

It isn't until later that I feel him move and getting out bed that I realize that this is happening and even if it feels like a dream, it's real.

When I open my eyes again I realize lamely that I'm going back and forth and I'm not really aware of what's going on anymore. Sleep is definitely getting the best out of me and I don't feel like I'm doing much to participate but he doesn't seem to care and if I'm being honest with myself then I'd admit that I don't really care either, I just want to feel wanted for one night.

Vulnerability suddenly hits me when the cold air of the night blows through the open window, a shiver runs down my exposed body and then I feel his lips on my stomach as his fingers find the empty spaces between my own.

His hold is strong but delicate at the same time, firm and soothing. I pull him up again and even if I can't recognize his face yet I still want his lips kissing me and that's exactly what he does.

Letting go of his hands I take his not too short hair and I tighten my hold when he settles between my legs. I'm shaking but I don't want to back down.

"This is my first time" I manage to tell him and he kisses my shoulder before whispering that he knows in my ear. His lips press against my earlobe and I close my eyes as he takes control again.

His tone is familiar but I'm way too drunk to think about it and I'm scraping the skin of his back noticing how the muscles of his shoulder blades jump at my touch.

"Are you sure you want to keep going?"

I can almost see his face but his lips on my neck entertain me. I know that voice and I'm sure that if I think hard enough I'd know who he is but I don't bother.

"Yes."

It comes out of my mouth as a shout of desperation; I've never wanted human contact as much as I do right now in my entire life.

He smiles against my skin and I scratch his back a bit harder making him groan and he attacks my mouth with a passionate kiss. I return it eagerly and I drown in the taste of his lips that at the moment is a rare mix of cigar, mints and alcohol.

"This might hurt a little bit" his voice sounds concern and when it happens I know what he was talking about but I limit myself to dig my nails on his shoulders as a ripping pain curses through my most intimate place.

There goes my most precious gift as my mother would so eloquently put it.

The pain is momentary and it doesn't take long before we're both trying to find a suitable rhythm. For what I know, my boyfriend would've lost his patience already and truly hurt me but for some reason this guy is taking things slow, giving me the time to adjust and feel without losing his grip or getting impatient.

"Protection!" I shout when the thought crosses my mind and he laughs as his lips find my cheek and my hands his sides. I'm drunk and he is too, no one said this would be the most memorable or romantic experience anyway.

"I'm on it, beautiful."

I find myself with the need of seeing his face because he didn't call me babe or sexy or any of those names that would have definitely kill the mood, no. He called me beautiful but all my senses are on overall and I quickly forget what it is that I needed so bad a second ago. The butterflies in my stomach and the slight pressing on my chest seem to be making this a little bit better.

He pushes harder inside of me, hitting something within that makes me scream and cry at the same time. It feels like too much at once and for the first time I don't think I can control all the emotions unraveling inside of me and I cling to his back harder than before.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you" his voice is soft, sincere and softer than before. I'm closer to figuring out who he really is but then his pace picks up a beat and we're both panting in each other's ears. All traces of sanity gone.

He kisses my shoulder and groans particularly hard before my whole world collapses on top of me and an amazing explosion takes place electrifying my entire body and brain. I feel it from the tip of my toes to the back of my head and another tear escapes my eye because I've never felt something so fulfilling before.

His body, his breath, his sweat, I can feel every part of my extremely sensitive body and all of him surrounding me and inside of me. I finally open my eyes only to discover that the room is pitch dark and I can't see anything but it doesn't really make a difference when my eyes shut close and I start to drift back to sleep.

When he pulls back I shudder at the loss of contact but sleep is heavy and I don't feel like talking or moving. I just want to rest.

"Oh no! No, no, no" he panics but I don't have the strength or the sobriety to care.

…

_There it is, back up. I do read your messages on tumblr, don't think for a second that I don't. _

_I hope you enjoyed this short intro and catch ya next time, lovelies. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**THE MORNING AFTER**

Consciousness comes in the form of a strong and heavy hand landing square on my face. I squeeze my eyes shut but the action sends waves of pain through my skull and a headache quickly makes my head throb unpleasantly. I push the offending hand away from me gaining an annoyed groan from the person lying beside me.

My breath hitches and a set of panic claims my senses when I repeat that line in my head. Someone is with me in this bed.

Without opening my eyes I reach out to feel the mattress and sure enough there is another body in the bed. I start bouncing my right leg and the bed begins to shake along with my movement. Who is in bed with me?

I try to remember how I got into bed in the first place but all I can think about is red solo cups and the vodka burning down my throat. This is exactly the reason why I don't tend to come to this parties, alcohol is inevitable in _this_ specific house.

A blinding light forces me to close my eyes again when I finally manage to open them and I'm so thirsty, I feel so raw and my crotch is throbbing with a light pain. I just had my period so there's no reason for… my lower abdomen should be hurting, not my crotch if that was the case.

God, my head is killing me, I need to drink something but first I need to find my clothes.

Why am I naked? If I was slightly panicking before now I feel like crying and screaming because I'm terrified of remember what happened last night.

Suddenly I'm bombarded with a thousand images at once. Foggy memories of this very room and a boy on top of me.

I had sex with someone and I don't even remember his face. I guess this would be just another fond experience to add to my admirable and enviable list of tragedies before I even turn eighteen.

The loss of my virginity to a complete stranger in a party at the house of the two biggest players in school.

Just wonderful.

Then I remember that someone is under the sheets lying next to me. I guess I won't have to wonder who took away my innocence after all.

I reach out slowly, very careful not to wake up the person next to me but the first thing I notice is the long hair spread around the white pillow and the feminine figure. I didn't sleep with a girl last night, did I?

No, no it was a boy. I heard his voice and felt his… it was a boy.

"Stop moving around, damn it!" and I definitely know that voice. My best friend and the one who practically dragged me to this stupid party last night is in bed with me.

"What are you doing here?" I spit at her but she just rises up her upper body on her elbows and wiggles her eyebrows at me as her smirk grows wider. She knows what happened, now she wants the details of said act and I'd consider giving them to her if I could remember a name or a face of course.

"I told you all we needed was a few drinks for you to let lose a little bit" she suggestively says and suddenly I feel like slapping the smirk off of her face.

It's not that I don't feel like partying like most of my classmates do because that's not the case and she knows that, it's just that I don't have the freedom to do so and I won't let anyone here know that so instead I use my image of 'perfect little Christian girl' to avoid these kind of pointless celebrations that had now make me feel nothing but miserable.

"I didn't plan on losing my virginity last night, Santana" she looks a little remorse but as quick as it came, that look is gone.

I've known her since we were four and instantly became best friends on that dreadful first day of kindergarten; three teeth were missing from her wide smile as she hit a boy in the nose for stealing my gummy bears.

In my house I wasn't allowed - I'm still not allowed to snap or act in anyway less girly that what I'm supposed to-, so obviously she was that little sunshine that I so desperately needed and I clung to her until this very day.

My parents didn't like her when we were four and they definitely don't like her now that we're about to turn seventeen but that doesn't stop me from being best friends with her. She's more sister to me than my real older sister Grace ever was.

"It's not like anyone pointed a gun at your pretty little head to get you to open up your legs, right?" I'd roll my eyes as I always do when she is being crass or annoyingly blunt, which is the case right now but I don't have an ounce of bitchiness in me at the moment, not when I feel incredibly stupid for what I've done.

Her face contorts in regret one more time. She knows my parents, she knows their rules, she knows they are fanatics of the Christian religion instead of believers and that's why she knows that if they knew about this I'd be on the streets in no time. My parents have no mercy for anyone and that rule doesn't let me out. They'll only judge me harder because they're allowed to as my parents.

It's only when I try to get out of the bed that I realize that someone else is on this bed with us and I slightly panic, what if he is actually here?

"Who's this?" I ask her with a high pitched tone and she rolls her eyes so far up her head that it makes me wonder how _that_ doesn't give her a headache every time she does it.

"Brits, who else was it going to be?" her frowning face only makes my chest burn with rage. I don't like her condescending tone, not now when I can't remember his face and a name doesn't ring any bells.

I think hard trying to remember but I can't, every little memory comes with a dark cloud and his face is always in the shadows. The thing that I remember clearly is the sensations that I felt with him, how good everything turned out to be and it makes me want to remember that much more.

He was amazing, not that I had any expectations because it was my first time after all but he made me feel everything at once. I look down at my half covered chest and I see two red marks on the swell of my breasts and the sudden image of a head between them comes to mind making me blush furiously.

It really happened.

"First things first," Santana's voice brings me out of my own head and I look up as I pull the sheet a bit higher on my chest.

"Who was it?" she asks me but she knows me too well and soon her expecting face turns into one of regret.

I'd dare to say that she feels for me, that my situation affects her as much as it does me by the way her eyes turn sad and a little furious. She has always been over protective somehow.

"No shit," she whispers and I detect the anger in her tone. She is already planning a way to find out who took my virginity and all the ways she could make him suffer for leaving me alone in the middle of the night, I know it.

"When did you guys got here anyway?" I ask her in an attempt to take her mind off things. I don't need to make this a bigger deal than it is. I've never been one to believe in huge romantic acts, so why would my first time be any special?

"As soon as we kicked Finn out, that boy cannot hold a drink," I'd know it, I've been dating him for seven months after all. "Seriously Q, I don't even know what in the world do you see in that guy!"

I don't answer anything back because I don't know it either. He is the quarterback and I'm the head cheerleader, it's meant to happen or maybe I've just watched too many stupid films.

He might not be the most caring boyfriend but he has his rare sweet moments that I like. I look down, holding the sheet with a bit more force than necessary.

I cheated on him last night, I gave away something that I promised will be his one day and now I just don't have it anymore.

"Wanna tell me how it was?" my best friend tries again and this time I smile at her. If there is anyone that I'd trust with this it's her.

"It was amazing" I tell her and she shakes her head in excitement.

"Go on, tell me!" she ushers me and I fall on the pillows one more time and get comfortable as she gets closer.

In the foggy state of my memories I try to remember the most important things that happened.

"He was so gentle," I remember as the flash of chocolate eyes flash behind my eyelids and the sensation of his hot breath on my neck makes me shiver.

"He went slow at first and made sure that I wanted to keep going," I remember his soft voice whispering in my ear, his delicate hands caressing my body and then the foreign pain when he finally took me.

"He apologized when… you know, he was so sweet," she chuckles and I slap her arm playfully.

"Sounds like love to me," she teases me and we both laugh for completely different reasons. "Did you cum?" she suddenly asks and I'm tempted to tell her off, to let me have some secrets but at the same time I want to tell her everything, so I nod my head and she laughs.

"I did, it felt so…" I can't find the right words to describe it and I probably never will. I wonder if anyone had put in words all those feelings that run through your body when you reach the ultimate physical pleasure.

"…heaven" I breathe out after a long second after finally coming down to the conclusion that 'heaven' it's the ultimate word to describe such a feeling for me.

"I know, it feels great, I can't believe you finally did it" she says with a smile on her face, and mine just drops, I don't remember who it was

"What am I gonna do?" I ask her "Did you see who got out of the room?" I ask her and she furrows her brow

"I did actually" she says furrowing her brow "Rachel was walking out of this room when Britt and I were looking for you" that doesn't help, she lives here.

"Maybe she was looking for something, she lives here" I say and she nods her head

"You're right" she says quickly "Maybe she saw who was here when she got in" she says and I nod my head, yeah, oh my god, I just hope she didn't see me naked, how embarrassing "Oh shit, we're in her room" she says standing up and looking around, we are in Puck's and Rachel's house.

"And where is she?" I ask her and she turns around with an ever bigger grin on her face.

"What if you slept with her?" she asks me, I shake my head furiously, there's no way, Rachel might be into girls, the entire school knows that but I'm not, besides I know what I felt

"It was a guy Santana" I say and her smile flatters

"I've heard she's pretty good" she says laying besides me again, I've heard it too, it looks like the entire squad has slept with her, and they're always talking about her, it's really gross actually

"What are you gonna do?" she asks me and I shrug my shoulders

"Let's just leave it at that, he'll call me Santana" I tell her and she raises her eyebrows at me

"This is clearly your first time Q" she says burying her face on the pillow "Put some clothes on before I touch you boobs again"

"Again?" I snap at her, she's chuckling on the pillow

"You just got fucked by a stranger and you're freaking out because I touch your boobs?" she asks lifting her head and I roll my eyes

"Just don't" I tell her closing my eyes again.

…

_Wow, thanks for that response, you're awesome guys. Now keep the reviews coming :P _


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**TWO WEEKS LATER **

**DISCOVERY**

I've never felt worse in my entire life. I can't believe that he hasn't called, that he doesn't care; I can't believe that I'm just another girl.

That's not who I'm supposed to be, nobody should forget about me that easily, I shouldn't be taken for granted, I'm Quinn Fabray and he should want me!

Who am I kidding? I can't even remember his face, so why should he remember mine?

The thing is that I'm never going to be able to let this go because it was my virginity, my first time and I just can't deal with the knowledge that the person who took it doesn't even care in the slightest.

Santana says that I should be happy that I didn't do it with Finn in the first place, but I find myself wishing that I'd have been him and not some stranger, at least my boyfriend would appreciate it, in his own brute way he would.

But now I feel like a fraud because I cheated on him, I broke what we had and I can't even remember a face and it makes me want to cry.

"Quinn?"

The entire situation makes me want lock myself in my room and never leave, I can't believe it happened to me.

"Quinn?"

"Can't you see I'm busy!" I snap at whoever dares interrupt me but as soon as I look up, I regret it when I find Mr. Ray staring at me with wide eyes.

I've never been disrespectful in class but it doesn't matter anyway because there is always a first time for everything and as my teacher's eyes reflect anger I want to hide behind my desk or ask for forgiveness.

I wouldn't do any of those things though, because I'm the head cheerleader and I'm supposed to one though cookie, even though I'm a cookie that hasn't even been baked yet.

"You know what to do, Miss Fabray" he says in a monotone voice and I feel like yelling, like throwing punches and whine like a little baby because I don't deserve a detention! I was merely not paying attention.

Granted, I snapped at the teacher but it was an honest mistake.

But of course I just stand from my seat, gather my things and walk out of the room after glaring at everyone who dares to look my way.

…

At the end of the day I find myself sitting in the history empty classroom waiting for the rest of the delinquents to show up. I'd pay to see my father's face when he finds out that I was in detention today, huh; I can already hear his much practiced speech for the occasion.

Miss Pillsbury looks at me from the front desk and I offer her a small smile in return. Why on earth would she be in charge of detention?

I respect and admire every single teacher in school but there is something about Miss Pillsbury that gets me of, she is too lost for her own good and if a good advice happens to fall out of her lips on her meetings, it would be a miracle.

I can only imagine the face of my coach when I don't show up for cheerleading practice in five minutes. That would be another speech I'd have to endure through.

I pull out my calculus book and start to work on my homework; there is no way I'll lose fifty precious minutes of my life doing nothing.

The sound of the door colliding with the wall makes me jump in my seat as my heart races frantically and Rachel Puckerman walks inside the classroom with that careless attitude that defines her.

I'm about to look away where her eyes meet mine and something odd happens, she takes a step back, like she's scared of me or something and she looks ready to turn around and run for the hills.

Whatever, I don't pay her any more attention and go back to my notebook as she walks towards Miss Pillsbury and starts to talk to her.

It's no surprise that the Puckermans always have a way with teacher, I'll have to admit that they are charming in their own crass and ridiculous ways and that's why it doesn't surprise me when I hear the counselor laughing at something that the player just said.

Just my luck.

I'll have to endure fifty minutes with one Rachel Puckerman, out of all the people that could have ended in detention today, it had to be her. For her own good, I just hope that she doesn't try anything with me today.

It's a little gross how her twin brother, Puck and she are always trying to get into my pants and by getting into my pants I mean just that. They are insufferable and completely bad mannered when it comes to wooing a girl.

Anyway, I focus on my homework for a couple of minutes until the power of her stare becomes too much and I can literally feel her eyes burning my skull, that's when I look up.

"What is it?" I ask her, making her jump in her seat and look away as quick as possible. She doesn't utter a single word and my sudden outburst only wins me a glare from the teacher in front.

I don't waste another second looking at her and go back to my homework only to discover that I'm pretty much done and we've only been here for fifteen minutes.

With nothing else to do in my hands my thoughts go exactly where they've been for the last couple of days, my mysterious lover and his lack of calling.

I remember Santana telling that Rachel was walking out of the room that night when she got there, maybe she saw someone, maybe she knows who he is.

In my need to find out his identity I find myself willing to talk to this insufferable human being.

"Rachel?" I call her name as softly as possibly but it doesn't matter anyway because she jumps in her seat and her wide eyes look at me with nothing but terror in them, "what's wrong with you?" I rhetorically ask her because let's face it, I don't really care what's up with her. "I need to ask you a question" I tell her going straight to my point but her eyes get even wider and she turns to look at the teacher.

Seriously, I am not that scary and I don't mean any harm, I just want to ask her a simple question and she's acting as if I just told her that I'm about to murder her and cut her into pieces.

But as expected, her expression soon changes and that annoying smirk that other girls love appear on her lips and suddenly I feel a little gross out.

"I said I want to ask you a question, not befriend you" I snap at her when she wiggles her eyebrows in a suggestive way.

"I don't want to befriend you either, babe. I'd just like to tas…" I raise my hand in her face, thankfully effectively shutting her up. Do you see what I mean by crass and insensitive?

But she's not affected by my cold shoulder, in fact, I'd dare to say that she is more incentivized to keep doing what she's doing, because she crosses her legs and winks at my direction and damn it to hell! That wink was not cute at all! No, it wasn't.

"I'll be right back, girls" Miss Pillsbury announces, "behave, ok?" she eyes us suspiciously before she walks out of the class.

"So," her voice is actually not so annoying, I'll admit that but the suggestive nature of it really makes me hate her, she can't expect me to fall on my knees and offer her my body as the rest of the headless cheerleaders, does she? "What can I do for you, miss?" but the tone of her voice rings a few bells in my head, only I can't remember where from.

"Please Puckerman, save your lame efforts. I don't swing in your team, alright?" she smiles, like she doesn't believe me and I roll my eyes, "I just want to ask you something."

And just like before, her eyes go wide and she stares at me weirdly but I don't pay her attention, even though I'm starting to get concern for her mental state.

"Something happened at your party, two weeks ago" as soon as the words leave my mouth her entire face goes white and she looks like she's holding her breath. "Are you breathing?" I ask her, now slightly terrified for her health.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm cool" she coughs a couple of times as she tries to avoid eye contact with me, "what do you want to know about the party?" she clears her throat a couple of times more as I blush with intensity. This is so embarrassing.

"Well, this is really embarrassing but when I woke up, I was in your room and Santana said that you…"

"I am so sorry, Quinn. Fuck, I feel terrible" she starts to apologize but I'm not following her at all, "I should have stayed with you, but you passed out and the party was still going. I thought about going back later but Santana and Brittany were already in bed with you, so I just…"

"So you saw him?" I cut her off and she looks at me with a confused expression, "who is he, Rachel?" her eyes go wide and she turns to look away from me. "Rachel, just tell me!" I order her.

"You don't remember" she whispers, her brow furrowing as I shake my head in negative.

"Who is he?" I ask again as she holds onto the edges of the desk with force, I can see her knuckles turn white from where I'm sitting.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this" she says as the last drop of patience in my body leaves me to be replaced by anger.

"Just give me a name, Puckerman!" I practically yell.

"It was me" she whispers and I laugh without any real humor. She doesn't even know what I'm talking about.

"Dear God. Yes, you were in the room, Santana saw you, that's why I'm asking"

"Then why are you laughing? I thought you would freak out, Puck said you would" and for the life of me, I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Just tell me who he is, Rachel. I want to talk to you as much as you want to study for a history test!"

For a minute too long, she stares at me like I've grown a third head upon my shoulders and it makes me feel uneasy because her eyes are the vivid image of vulnerability.

"It was me" she speaks again with every ounce of shyness in her tone that I've never heard before.

I close my eyes trying and failing to see why she's acting this way and why her voice sounds so scarily familiar, at the same time I try to remember his face, his voice but I can't and I voice the only thing that comes to mind.

"Rachel, who was there? Who is he? I need you to tell me who was in the room" I ask her one more time and she rolls her eyes before looking away from me, obviously feeling annoyed by me.

"It. was. me" she says again with an attitude and I roll my eyes because she is obviously confused by my question.

"I know you were in the room but there was someone else there, who was he?"

"It was me Quinn!" she says louder than before, louder than I've ever heard her talking and the sudden feeling of dread washes over me in one single second.

"You slept with me, there was no guy in there, it was me" I think I'm going to be sick.

I stand from my chair and run out to the bathroom, as my head turns and my skin burns and as soon as I walk inside a stall, I fall on my knees throwing up like a mad person for all its worth.

I flush the toilet and for a moment I think about not going out but I can't stand being closed up in this small space so I walk out of the stall and make my way to the sink. Thank God that Coach makes us wear our hair in a ponytail every day. I wash my mouth with water and when I look up I see Rachel standing behind me though the mirror.

"That was the kind of the reaction I was waiting from you" she says behind me and I roll my eyes.

"Listen dwarf, I don't find it funny, the idea grosses me out, you know I'm not a lesbian, just tell me who was in the room" I demand of her and she walks to stand in front of me but I'll be damned if I feel threaten by her and I don't care how angry I sound at the moment because that's exactly how I want her to hear me.

"It was me" she says in my face again and all the images come rushing back to the front of my brain.

Oh God, it's not possible, I know what I felt. It was a guy, small hands and a bit shorter that I am, but it was definitely a guy, I know what I felt.

"I slept with a guy" I say in her face and she looks down crossing her arms over her chest, like some sort of self-protection mode that I can't for the life of me, understand.

"It was me Quinn, you slept with me, we were drunk but I left when you passed out."

And that explanation it's what pisses me off the most, does she actually think that this is funny?

"It's not possible" I say, trying to control myself before I strangle her with my bare hands.

She is insane, I'd never sleep with her, never or would I? NO, she is just like her brother; she sleeps with everybody that gives her the chance.

"It was a guy, I know what I felt and I'm pretty sure you don't have one of those" I say again rolling my eyes at my own bluntness and lack of tact but what is the point now?

"What if I do?" she asks softly, her head hang low and that tone, that voice, that soft voice, where have I heard it before?

When she looks up at me, she looks completely devastated, hurt, broken and oh my God! Please, tell me that she doesn't. And even if she does, why on earth would she tell _me_ of all people?

Oh my God.

Oh God.

Oh dear God!

"Oh, my God!" I yell taking a step back away from her, "please tell me you don't" I beg her and she wipes away a single tear that's rolling down her cheek and I hate myself for making her feel this way but I hate her even more for throwing this on me this way.

"Puck said you would react like this, that's why no one ever told you about it" she whispers and then her whole body stands in a defiant posture, like she's getting ready to be punched in the face.

"I never wanted to do anything with you and honestly I thought you were someone else, I never wanted to sleep with you…"

My head takes me back to that night as she keeps talking, but my God! Her voice it's just so familiar, that's why it's been ringing all kinds of bells in my head.

But this could be a joke, she and Puck are known for play bad jokes at the cheerleaders, for crying out loud! They are legends in our school for those practical jokes that are not only bad but also mean.

"I get it" I tell her, finally understanding her or hoping that I'm getting it right, "I've been awful to you and your brother, I never give you the time of day and I apologize, just tell me who it was, you've made your point, you scared the crap out of me, now just tell me who it was" I politely ask her but her face only contorts in confusion.

I stare at her, waiting for her to tell me that everything it's a joke, to tell me that I didn't lose my virginity to the biggest player in school, to tell me that it meant something even if it didn't.

"Do you think that I would lie to you about this? About what I think was the most important night of your life?" just the tone of her voice makes me feel like the biggest idiot on earth and I know that she's not joking, she never war.

"I'm not joking Quinn, I'm telling you the truth but of course you don't believe it but trust me, I wouldn't sleep with you in my right state of mind, I'd never touch you, you think I like you like that? Well I don't, you're not as irresistible as you think yourself to be."

The anger in her tone and eyes it's enough to make me want to drop dead on the spot and I don't want to even start thinking about her words because those are the ones that just ripped me in half.

But the way her eyebrows wiggle reminds me so much of her brother and I'm not about to let her see what she really did to me, I will become a fucking Avatar before one of the Puckerman _think_ that they could hurt me.

"Prove it" the words fall out of my mouth before I can even think about what I'm asking, all I know is that I need to show her that I'm not weak, she can't put me down by saying that I'm not desirable.

With my hands on my hips and my head held high I defy her and what bothers me the most is that she doesn't seem affected by my stare at all, she gets to my nerves and I hate that!

She rolls her eyes and rums her eyes all over my posture before huffing, she's making fun of me and I can't stand it. No one rolls their eyes when I stand this way.

Suddenly her hard expression turns into a different one and I can't quit read it but when her hands move down to reach the button of her lose jeans my eyes travel south and I'm scared for what I might see.

When her zipper is low I notice a bulge and my skin gets goosebumps at the mere thought. That is definitely a bulge, a big bulge and there shouldn't be a bulge there, it shouldn't!

"That is not real" I say at a loss of words but she's already lowering her boxers and ok, that is definitely real.

My heads spins around and for a mere second I see myself on the floor after I've lost consciousness but when I blink and open my eyes, she's still watching me with those very vulnerable and sweet eyes of her that make me feel sympathy but more than anything I want to freak out, I want to shout and ask for an explanation.

"What the hell, Rachel?" I find myself asking instead of freaking out.

And then it hits me, I lost my virginity to her, to the biggest player in school, to a person that doesn't care, to a person that never cares and it kills me, it rips me apart.

"Quinn, let me explain" she softly says and I realize that I'm crying but not because I'm afraid, but because it hurts me that I gave her something so important to me and she is never going to value it, probably never did.

I was just one of many for her. Another stupid horny that she slept with in a party.

"Don't be afraid Quinn, can't you be a real human being for once and try to understand that this is hard for me!"

She's getting it all wrong, she thinks that I'm afraid or that I think poorly of her but I don't. I am hurt, I feel broken and dirty, I feel like she's tainted me with the worst ink there ever was.

"Can't you understand how messed up this is for me?" I ask her and curse myself when my voice breaks, but the look on her face is a pleading one and the mere image breaks me on a new level.

This shouldn't be happening. Not, to me.

"Just hear me out ok?" she proposes but her pants are open and her black boxers are still showing. More than anything, I'm curious.

"How is that possible?" I ask her and she doesn't need to voice her question to know that I'm talking about what's between her legs.

How on earth did she fit that inside of me? She is anything but small and I'm just… how did I take all that? How?

"I wasn't born with it" she starts to explain as I try to look avoid eye contact with her, so she just continues. "When I was supposed to have my first period, this showed up" she's motioning down but that doesn't really explain anything. I've never heard of anything like it, "and it never left" she finishes, leaving me even more confused than before.

"Do you know how or why?" I tentatively ask her.

"The doctors don't have an explanation but it does exist and there are others like me, we're only a couple around the world. The condition is very rare but as you can see, not impossible" by the way she speaks, it leads me to believe that she's never explained this to anybody else and that's a bit odd since she's slept with lots of girls.

Then it hits me. It must be so frustrating to keep that kind of information to yourself and see how nobody cares about it, even though they know.

She's been with countless of girls and yet, I can clearly tell that this is the first time that she explains herself and by the look on her face, that is something that she's wanted to do for a long time.

She is a girl with a different condition but a girl nonetheless, I want to reach out and show her that I care even though we've never been friends, but I care simply because she stopped being just Rachel Puckerman for me since the moment I found out that she was the mystery lover that took my virginity.

She was the scape that I craved that night, she gave me something that I never had even though she didn't want it or appreciated it.

"I didn't want you to find out about this, Puck always said that you're way to uptight and religious and stuff but I think is fair if you knew who was your first."

I'm still shock, I admit but I'm not some heartless stupid cheerleader, even if that's what I'm supposed to be.

"Everybody knows about this?" I ask her instead of voicing my thoughts and as new ones start to form inside my head.

Now all those conversations that I overheard in the showers make a lot more sense to me, I always thought that the girls were just sharing sex tips but it results that they were actually talking about her and for some strange reason the idea bothers me.

"Well, not everybody, just the girls I've slept with."

As long as the words leave her mouth I feel my blood boil and my fingers tremble with rage, I don't know how or why but I do know this feeling inside and I curse my possessiveness because this is not the time and Rachel is not attached to me –in the literal way, in the symbolical way she will always be- and I don't have the right to be jealous.

But I'm not free and I have so much to lose if this information gets out of hands. My parents, my reputation, my entire future; I can't even think about anything with her.

"Just don't say anything" I tell her and she immediately turns around to leave but not before I see the look of hurt in her chocolate eyes.

Suddenly she stops by the door and turns to look at me with an unreadable expression in her face and I don't know why but fear envelops me.

"I have a boyfriend Rachel and my parents will kill me if they find out that I'm not their little virgin anymore" I practically beg not knowing exactly why but she shrugs her shoulders, resting importance to the matter and a mocking smirk quickly forms on her lips before she winks at me.

"Why would I say something, babe?"

She doesn't give me the chance to say anything as she walks out and leaves me with my thoughts and fears to myself.

…

_I've realized that this story has gained the attention of new readers and I feel kinda bad for not giving you guys a heads up on what's happening but this story was one of the first fics I wrote back in the days and recently I deleted it because… (I actually don't know what I did it) but I'm posting it again and that's what matters (I guess), so I just wanted to say that thanks for reading and that it's ok to ask question if you have them. _

**The Dumb Asian: **That's because you probably did. Like I said I'm re-posting this story. Thanks for reviewing.

**Polux: **Hehe, yeah; it's gonna be Puckerman again, I wanted to change the name or at least their last names but then I didn't want to because so many of you already knew what happened there and I have good memories with that particular mistake, so it's staying that way. Yes, they are supposed to be twins.

**Anons: **I consider a miscarriage a tragedy, that's why I put it there. To all the other anons, thank you for reviewing and reading.

_And to everybody who takes the time to review I thank you and hope that you keep doing it. _


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**A GREAT PLAN?**

Have you ever experienced that feeling that makes your entire body go cold, like someone just threw a buck of icy water at you?

Have you ever felt like your entire life has come to an end?

You would think that I'm over reacting but I'm not, not even a little bit.

I want to crawl in a ball and cry my eyes out and ask 'why me' over and over again but that won't do any good, it won't take me anywhere.

The truth is that I'm pregnant with Rachel's baby and I don't know what to do.

I stare at my reflection in the girl's bathroom mirror and I want to reach out and slap my own face and erase that lost and vulnerable look off of my face because I can't stand it!

She said that she wouldn't touch me in her right state of mind, so imagine if she finds out that pregnant with her child, I don't want to think about it but something tells me that the first thing she'll suggest is that I get an abortion and that's something that I can't even consider.

I won't sacrifice my kid for my own stupidity.

Nine pregnancy tests and one came out being negative, as if it wanted to mock me in the face with that little bit of false hope.

But how could have Rachel been so stupid? Why didn't she use a condom, I thought she was the expert in one night stands, so why me? Why not any of the cheerios that she's slept with?

God! I feel like an ass for wishing this on someone else.

Of course it was going to happen to me. I mean, I'm only the Captain of the Cheerios and the Celibacy Club and my parents won't doubt before they kick me out on the streets for this.

I guess it was meant to happen, I was never meant to leave this town, it was only a matter of time before I realized that and now life had decided to send me a wakeup call. I'm not leaving Lima.

I walk out of the girl's bathroom knowing well that I'm not who I was yesterday and my body language seems to be screaming that at everyone's faces.

I can't bury this, I can't deal with this kind of situation, I can't just pretend that I'm going to come out as a winner when I know that I'm everything but.

I lean against my locker when I feel like I'm about to burst into tears. I'm so scared, so desperate. I don't want my parents to kick me out, I don't want to lose everything I've worked so hard to get. I want to have a chance like everybody else does. I want to just be sixteen.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I turn around when I recognize my best friend's voice and as our eye met I notice the tears that are rolling down my cheeks like a torrent and the look on her face doesn't help much because I can tell that she feels my pain even though she doesn't understand it.

…

An hour later I'm curled in Santana's bed, hugging a pillow to my chest. I don't think I have any more tears to share but they're still pouring out of me.

I don't know how she managed to get us both out of school, probably used our Cheerio's status but she brought me to her home since her parents are at work.

Her posture is tense and it's been that way since I finished telling her everything. A part of me is glad that she didn't ask if I'm getting an abortion right away, I guess she just knows me that well.

She's angry, I can sense it but her anger it's not directed at me, it's directed at Rachel.

When I notice the muscles in her body jump, I know that I'm going to have to catch her before she does something stupid.

"I'm going to kill her!" she finally says through greeted teeth and after that she jumps out of her bed like a lion that's just been set free.

I run behind her because I also know her pretty well and when she gets like this, nothing can stop her.

"Santana, wait!" I call her but she's not listening, I didn't actually expect her to stop.

She grabs her car keys and in a matter of second she's inside her car and I'm jumping in too. As soon as I close the door, we're moving.

"What are you gonna do? Stop the car" I ask her but she's not listening, she's in another place, her knuckles are turning white for griping the wheel too hard.

"That little bitch!" she screams punching the wheel with all her force and I'm somewhat relieve because I know she's about to let go some stamina. "First she tricks you into having sex with her, she doesn't wear protection and she hasn't talk to you for a month now, a fucking month!" she screams, hitting the wheel again with more force than before.

I should've thought twice before I told her anything, I knew she would get this protective, she can be all fun and games the entire time but when things get real she doesn't hesitate before stepping up.

"We can't, Santana" I beg her and I notice that my voice gets softer, I don't have a chance in coming out of this in a good way, "think for a second, stop the car please." Surprisingly, she stops the car and pulls over.

"What?" she asks me and I don't need to be a genius to know that her anger is being directed at me now.

"Santana I can't, I mean, yes, she's the… father but I can't be pregnant with her child, it's just too much and you know it."

I see her eyes going from angry, to confused and then to realization; she knows what I'm talking about.

"She has to pay for this, you can't go through this alone and I don't care who she is, she has to be with you! She just has to!" her voice gets loud again and something inside of me clicks with her words.

It's bad enough that I'm pregnant, my parents will freak out but it's even worse if they find out that I'm pregnant with Rachel's baby.

The entire city knows that their heads are as square as a cereal box and they won't be this understanding, they would most likely kill me. Rachel is a girl and if I know something for sure is that my parents are the biggest homophobic couple walking this earth.

They would rip this child away from my belly with their bare hands if they could.

"My parents Santana, I can't be pregnant with Rachel's child" I tell her and her eyes widen, this time that understanding in her eyes gains clarity. She gets it.

"Shit! You're right, what the hell are you gonna do?"

"Really helpful, San" I say and she rolls her eyes but there in an unspoken apology there that I find with ease.

We sit in her car with our minds screaming at us. I feel bad for telling her all of this, for putting her in this situation where I need her help, it's not fair.

After a couple of minutes in silence, I can tell that she has an idea by the way that she's moving and opening and closing her mouth several times.

"Tell me already!" I ask her, getting a little impatient.

"It's sounds crazy but I think it might work" she explains as I give her my solid attention, "Finn is stupid" I huff at that statement and punch her lightly in the shoulder.

"Thank you Santana, you have no idea how much that helps"

"Let me finish" she interrupts me while rubbing at her sore shoulder with a little frown on her forehead. "You're right about your parents, they'll kick you out once they know you're pregnant but they will _kill_ you if they find out about Rachel."

She's completely right and that knowledge just makes me feel even worse. She holds my hands in a very rare and comfortable matter, her hands give me a little piece and strength and I hate that I need her to get through this.

"Maybe half of the population in our school is cool with her condition and enjoying it but you're parents are not going to understand that," she keeps going her reasoning, "you have to convince Finnocence that you're pregnant with his child, that way…"

"But we've never…"

"Then do it, fast, today" she cuts me off and a red glad waves somewhere in my head. I know it's a bad idea, "he'll stand by you, he can be an idiot for sure but he's a responsible idiot, he'll stand by you and he won't run away."

Finn loves me, anybody can tell by the look on his eyes when we're together. He's respectful and patient, his stepfather owns a mechanic shop where he works on the weekends, just so he can save some money for our dates.

Finn wants to stay in Lima, he wants to work on the shop after graduation and he seems happy about that idea. I'll be fine with him, he'll support me and the baby and he'll loves us while doing it.

"So I have to sleep with him" it's the strangest idea that could have formed in my head. He always arrives earlier, at the slightest of touches.

"It's the only way and let's face it, what would Rachel do? She's a freaking loser just like his brother," I lower my gaze, feeling ashamed by what I've done but Santana keeps talking, "and maybe you don't even have to go all the way Finn. You just have to create an scenario that you can use later on."

It's crazy but because it is, it could work so I nod my head. She's right, what Rachel she do? And she's right about Finn too; he is kind of slow in the logic department.

"We're going to her house, they're having a party tonight, take a few drinks, maybe it'll help you to get through with it, you know?"

She gives me a pitiful look and I turn around in my seat to avoid looking at her face. She's only trying to help and this could work, it could definitely work.

…

I've been here for thirty minutes and I'm ready to go. The Puckerman's house if filled with people from our school and other schools too. It's the same environment of that night and the idea makes me want to throw up, just being here is bad for me.

But I have to do this, I _need_ to do this. I can't have Rachel being the 'father' of my kid. Santana is right, Finn will stand by me, he is a good guy, a slow and a little stupid but a good guy nonetheless.

When Finn steps on my food for the third time while dancing, I wonder if he'll be this clumsy in bed. I wouldn't care either way and I wouldn't say anything either.

"You look beautiful tonight Quinn" Finn says in my ear and his words take me back to the night that is spent with Rachel. She used that word to describe me and at the moment it felt really good and it made me _feel_ something.

I kiss his cheek showing my appreciation even though I want to run away from him and save him from me. But I need him and I'm selfish for doing this to him.

He kisses me and I notice how he tries to be gentle, how strong he controls himself but his hands are too big and his mouth is practically sucking my face. I don't enjoy it but that doesn't stop me from kissing back.

Rachel's kisses were different, better, softer. She's a good kisser and an even better lover.

When my boyfriend shoves his tongue inside my mouth I pull back but his hands on my hips don't let me get too far and for a second I wish he could be a little bit more delicate, like Rachel.

She didn't shove her tongue in me, she didn't shove anything in me before she was sure than I wanted it too.

When I feel his rough hands moving lower on me body, I tense and then he squeezes not too softly on my butt cheeks.

"We can go upstairs" he suggestively whispers in my ear and all I can do is nod my head. I watch with as his face lights up and after pecking my lips he grabs my hand to guide me to the stairs. I feel guilty.

The music fades away as we get upstairs and a weight settles on my chest and stomach.

But as soon as we turn to the corridor we both stop in our tracks because Rachel has a girl pinned against the wall and the little slut has her leg wrap around Rachel's waist while her face is buried in her neck.

I've never felt fury like I'm feeling it right now and when Rachel's hand disappears under her top I want to go over there and pull the little whore by the hair and away from Rachel but I can't because somebody is holding my hand.

I shake my head, remembering that my boyfriend is holding my hand and Rachel is free to do whatever she wants, but that realization doesn't help much because I suddenly feel like crying, my stomach is about to fall out of my body.

_Baby_ is whispered so loud that I look up again to find Rachel rocking her body against Elizabeth?

She's in the Cheerios, I guess that someone just got herself fifty extra laps on practice tomorrow.

"Baby" she says a little louder bus still in a husky voice as her hands push Rachel by the shoulders and suddenly a pair of dark eyes are locked with mine and she steps back from Liz at once like she's just been caught stealing cookies but her face is far from showing regret.

"Dude" my boyfriend laughs and Rachel gives him a thumb up before he pulls me down the corridor again.

"Getting some tonight, Finny?" she teases him and Finn laugh again but he doesn't stop. I turn around and I find her eyes trained on me, why is this hurting me?

She can have sex with whoever she wants. I shouldn't care, in fact, I don't.

Then why do I feel like I'm about to burst into tears by what I just saw?

"I should be getting some right now" Liz says opening the closest door and pulling Rachel inside.

The door closes and I hear Liz moans start again.

I didn't even have a drink because as stupid as I am, I know that I can't drink now that I'm pregnant.

"Come on" Finn pulls me in the next room and as soon as the door closes he kisses me roughly pushing me against the door. I try to kiss him back again but I can't because he's desperate to put his hands on me.

He grabs my thighs and lifts me from the ground, opening my legs around his body. I feel disgusted when I feel his hard on and now more than ever, I realize that I don't want to do this with him, I don't.

But he lays me on the bed, placing himself on top of me, his huge body crashing me down like I don't even exist in this mattress.

"You're so hot Quinn" he squeezes my breast with his enormous hands. I groan but not from pleasure but because he's hurting me. I push him by his shoulders but he looks way too happy to realize that he's been hurting me. "We're doing this" he happily nods his head.

"Yeah, we are" as much as I want to make this a nice experience, his eagerness gets in the way.

Just when he's about to kiss me he stops to look at the wall and so do I. a thumping noise is coming and loud moans soon joins the party.

_Oh yeeeesssss, Rachel, like that baby! _ _Ahhhhh I love it baby, just like that! Harder baby, harder!_

The sound of the thumping in the wall awakes something else within me and I find myself wishing that I was the one screaming instead of Elizabeth.

"Fuck that shit" Finn says and kneeling between my legs he works on his belt and undoes it. Next goes his zipper and then in a fast motion he takes off my panties under my dress. He breaks them apart, like some kind of brute.

He licks his lips and runs his fingers on my slit making me shiver because his gingers are too rough, too big and I want them away from me.

"You're supposed to be wet" he frowns just in time when another round of loud moans come from the other room.

I want to be in that room, I want to have her with me, just the memory of her makes me want her beyond compare.

"That's more like it" his voice brings me back but I don't know what's he's talking about.

"What?" I ask him but my attention is in his hands. He lowers his pants and his boxers and I can't help myself when I compare him with Rachel. Of course I didn't get a good look at Rachel's but judging by the way that I felt Finn's not even half of her size.

Oh my God! He is not even half of her size when she's soft and why am I comparing my boyfriend with her? What is wrong with me?

"Like what you see?" he asks, feeling smug and that would be a big turn off if I were in the mood. But no, actually I don't like it at all.

His looks a little sick and weak and I'll have to pretend to be with Rachel because he's not going to be able to make me feel anything, I just know it.

_Oh god! Rachel!_

I'm no genius but that was an orgasm scream.

"Oh, oh, oh" Finn whines on top of me and I feel that sticky and disgusting substance of his cum on my tights.

He didn't even touch me, he didn't even do anything before he came and I'm really glad for that.

He collapses on top of me and I just push him off. I clean my thighs with Puck's bed sheets as quick as I can.

I've never felt so dirty before and we didn't even do anything, I'm so turned on and it's not even because of my boyfriend, so much of a boyfriend anyway.

"Give me a second and we'll try again, ok?" he breathlessly asks from the bed where he's laying but I won't try this again with him, not tonight, not ever.

"The moment is gone, Finn" besides, I'm sure I can trick him with this, this will do, I can come up with a story for him, this will do, I don't actually need him to do anything on me.

"You're crying, did I hurt you?"

Am I? Why would I be crying and how could he have hurt me? He didn't even…

"No you didn't hurt me Finn, I'm fine" I walk to the vanity where I find tears are on my cheeks but if I feel sad it has nothing to do with Finn.

"But if felt good right?"

You see what I was talking about when I say that he is slow? How on earth could have anything felt good? How?

"It didn't."

I limit myself to tell him and I fix my dress and hair. Now I have to go home with any underwear because he ripped them off.

"I didn't feel anything!" I say turning around to face him but I find him sleep, sleep!

Did he just pass out? But we didn't even… oh god. I walk to the door regretting everything that I've done tonight and thinking of a way to trick Finn into all of this that when I walk out I crash onto someone.

"I'm so sorry" I quickly apologize as a pair of strong arms stabilizes me and turning around I find Rachel staring at me with a sad and confused look on her face.

…


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**WHAT JUST HAPPENED?**

"You were awfully quiet compare with last time."

Her eyebrows are high on her forehead as I think of her words at the same time that a blush taints my cheeks. I can't believe she would bring something like that up without a care.

"Leave me alone" I ask her and I shut my eyes close in anger with myself. I don't want her to have this effect on me, I don't want her to have any effect on me but she does and instead of pushing her away when she walks closer to me, I actually want to pull her to me.

I've never noticed the color of her eyes like this before, I knew that they were chocolate but I can see little freckles of gold now that I'm this close to her and I have to admit that I like them a lot. Her breath suddenly invades my senses, I can smell her, I can feel her bodily warmth and when my back touches the wall I realize that's she's been backing me towards the wall with propose.

I touch the wall with my hands as my breathing starts to increase, she clouds my mind but not in a bad way; I feel like I can be whoever I want with her and that's is an exciting feeling.

"Did you really do it with Finn?" she asks me and I can hear the dislike in her tone. She hates the idea as much as I do and that only turns me on even more. I want her, no, I need her.

"Did you really do it with Liz?" I ask back, feeling a little anger at the mere idea of someone else touching her and it confuses me.

A smirk takes over her beautiful features as her teeth trap her lower lip in a seductive way and I just, I just want to bite that lip myself and I don't know _why_.

"If I say no, would you lie to me?" she asks taking a step closer to me and if we were close before then now there's no space between us and the position doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, which is ever weirder than weird.

"He passed out, didn't he?" she chuckles when I don't give her an immediate answer, her shoulders shake lightly as I try to figure out what she's talking about and why she's laughing, "Finn" she says as if she heard what I was thinking a second ago.

"I don't know, he's in there" I point with my finger behind my back even though I honestly don't know why I'm answering her question because I can't think in anything but her piercing eyes and tempting lips all of the sudden.

"He always passes out" she lightly laughs and I finally realize that she's talking about sex with Finn, which I didn't have and which by the way she's talking leads me to believe that my boyfriend has had sex with other people before.

"He is a virgin… I mean he was-he was a virgin" I tell her because it was supposed to be our first time together. Finn was supposed to lose his virginity with me, I lower my gaze in shame at realizing that I was supposed to lose it with him as well but that's not the point and I'm not going down that road right now. I can't lose my focus with Rachel.

"Well that's a pretty lie. Did you tell him that too?" I can't tell that she finds the idea, funny but she just shakes her head. What would she know anyway, she's never had a real relationship in her life; all she does is go from girl to girl. But Finn wouldn't cheat on me, he loves me.

"He would never lie to me" he may be slow and in times frustrating but he is not a bad guy, he wouldn't hurt me like that, not consciously.

"Like you would never lie to him, right?"

I hate that she's right and I hate her even more for making me shiver like she's doing right now. I don't want her to provoke any kind of reaction to my body.

"What are you doing?" I ask her when her hand reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear.

I close my eyes as she runs the tips of her fingers on my cheek and chin but those are not the only places that I feel her. I feel her everywhere and I notice my shallow breathing get heavier. If things weren't so complicated I would probably have given her a chance tonight.

When I open my eyes and find her staring at me I realize that I've never wanted to reach out and kiss someone as bad as I do right now.

"I can help you, you know?" she suggests as I fight against the need to close the space between my lips and hers.

"He-help me with what?" her eyes travel south on my body and one of eyebrows arcs suggestively.

"That," she licks her lips and my body finally wins the battle against my mind and I reach out, my hands grab a hold of the neck of her shirt and I pull her closer to me.

I kiss her but she's already a step ahead and her lips nip mine in a delicious way, God! If I could only kiss her every day. I let go of her shirt to wrap my arms around her neck as her arms circle my waist and brings our bodies flush against one another.

Her lips move against mine but not in an exploratory kind of way, it's more like as if she knew me for so long and has been kissing me for years that her lips know the exact path to take to make me _feel. _

I'm not so familiar with this feeling, this feeling of want but I recognize it very clearly when she rocks her body against mine and the pressure alleviates some of the burning sensation between my legs. And it hurts, it hurts so good to want her this much.

When her mouth finally leaves mine, I open my eyes and as soon as I find her eyes she pecks me lips as a small smile tugs at her lips. She is adorable and sexy and I want to tell her but she steps back.

"Come here" she holds my hand and pulls through another door.

As soon as I set foot inside I realize that I'm in the same room, her room and all memories came back at once.

The taste of vodka, her voice, her breathing, her kisses, the feeling of her hands all over me, the feeling of her _inside_ of me, everything.

She squeezes my hand and the action brings me back to reality, maybe she felt my hesitance or maybe she just doesn't want me to back down now. I don't really know but I want to be able to know what she's thinking when she's looking at me like that.

The next time that she kisses me, she does it softly, in control and this time I truly believe that she's exploring my mouth, well at least that's what I'm doing with hers.

She pulls me closer but not roughly, her hands on my hips make me feel wanted instead of needed for release like Finn made me feel a few minutes ago.

Finn.

I stop my kisses as soon as the corky smile of my boyfriend comes to mind and guilt pushes down on my chest with force.

"We can't" I tell her as I lick my lips, tasting the sweet nectar of her in my skin but she only pulls me closer to her body.

"It's ok" she says wrapping her arms around my waist, probably thinking that I just need a little persuasion.

"Finn" I say quickly but her arms don't lose its hold around my body, "I can't do this to my boyfriend."

The look in her eyes doesn't change but her fingers start to rub small circles on my sides, trying to calm me down. I place my hands on her arms and relish in the way that I feel between them. It's nothing like Finn's arms, she doesn't make me feel trapped, she makes me feel protected, she's not resting her weight on me, she's letting me rest on her and that's a big change from my boyfriend.

"It's no big deal" she finally says before she shrugs her shoulders dismissively, "we already did it once."

And _that_ sentence it's what gets to me. I'm ashamed of my actions and angry with myself for everything that happened and I can't ignore the guilt that threatens to eat me alive.

"I was drunk" I push her off of me and in a moment of sheer panic I push her harder, my mind is such a mess and she is the only reason why, "you took advantage of me."

And as soon as the words leave my mouth I know that I'm wrong but I can't stop, I need someone to help me carry this load because I can't do it alone.

"Quinn, it doesn't really matter how it happened, it just did" she tries to calm me as she takes a tentative step closer to me but I push her again and she stumbles backwards.

"You took my virginity Rachel, how can you tell me that it just happened?"

Even if she doesn't care, even if she never did, she should at least lie when she's facing me. Doesn't she know that her words hurt me deeply?

It's hard enough to know that I'm pregnant at sixteen because of some stupid mistake but to know that what it was supposed to be my most memorable night meant nothing to her it's just heartbreaking.

Why should it mean anything anyway? I'm nothing special and I bet that she's had better experiences in bed and that my virginity wasn't probably the only one that's she's taken.

I don't want to look at her, I don't want to see her uncaring stare directed at me. I don't want to be _just_ another girl.

"I lied to you" her fingers touch my chin and slowly and very delicately she makes me raise my face and look at her.

"What?" as soon as I ask the question she removes her hand from me and looks down, like she's afraid and wants to hide from me event if my voice lacked its icy tone.

"When I told you that I wouldn't touch you in my right state of mind, I lied."

She looks up again and this time our eyes stay locked together and I can see that whatever she's about to say, it's true.

"You are beautiful Quinn, the most beautiful girl I've ever met and I am so sorry that it happened the way it did, I was as drunk as you were. I know that it meant a lot to you and I'm deeply sorry for the way it happened but you have to know that it meant a lot to me too," and I believe her, I believe in her words and my entire body yells asking me to do something but I just stare at her, unable to find the right words to say.

"I'm sorry for this too, I don't know what… I'm sorry" she apologizes and before I can even blink she's out of the room and the door is closed.

Was that a declaration of some crush? Does she like me? Should I tell her that I'm pregnant?

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think.

I turn around and I find a picture of Rachel and Puck when they were children tucked in the mirror of her vanity. It's a simply yet so adorable photograph that takes my mind away from everything that's happening for a minute.

They are wearing matching outfits, black shirts, red shorts and barefoot as they stand on the edge of the pool with big smiles on their faces. Their smiles are the same until this very day.

Would my kid have her smile? Would he have my hair color or Rachel's? I've always loved the soft brown color of hers, what about the eyes? Would he come out with hazel ones or dark ones?

Would it be a boy and as charming as Rachel is, or a girl and a dreamer like I am?

The more I think about it, the more I want it and I caress my belly where a new life is growing, a life that somehow I created with Rachel and I smile at the thought of a little one in my arms.

But would she feel the same? What would she do if she finds out that I'm pregnant with her child? Will she disappear? Will she step up?

By what happened earlier I know that I don't want to see anyone with Rachel anymore and that's crazy.

I like her, maybe I tried to hide it the entire time but truth is that I like her and even more now that we are connected but my parents would kill me, that's why I can't be having her baby, I just can't.

That's why Finn is the right choice, that's why I need him. I'm doing the right thing with him, I will be fine with him, I will.

…**.**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**YOU'RE NOT ALONE**

I stare at my salad, the tomatoes look a bit suspicious and the lettuce it's not well washed, I think I will buy some cookies before lunch period is over, maybe a peach juice too.

I have to eat something, even though the nagging feeling in my stomach is telling me otherwise, I know that I have to feed my baby.

_My baby. _

The idea brings a smile to my face and puts a weight on my shoulders at the same time, the sudden need to cry is also there and the uncomfortable feeling on my stomach makes its presence known.

The plan is a mess, the plan won't work and it's totally unfair for all involved. I know that Finn is more responsible than Rachel and that he will stand by me for sure but I can't do this to him, I can't ruin his life and give him responsibilities that don't belong to him.

Rachel deserves a chance, Finn deserves a chance even if he doesn't know what to do with his life just yet and my baby, especially my baby deserves the chance to be with its two real parents.

Rachel is not the worst person out there and telling her won't take away anything from me, if all it'll just help me figure out where exactly I stand with her.

At least I know that our one time experience meant a lot to her as well and that puts my mind a little at ease, at least I was appreciated; I wish I could know if she feels a little more than appreciation though. Could there be more than meet the eye with her?

"Quinn?" Finn's tone is exasperated and I finally blink, set my fork down and look up to meet his annoyed expression.

My two best friends are also on the table with us and Santana stares at me with a confused expression while Brittany combs her brunette hair with her fingers in a very intimate matter.

"Quinn?" Finn's tone turns whining and I look at him.

"Yeah?" I don't know what he's been talking about for the last ten minutes and if I'm being honest with myself, I don't care that much either.

"You're zoning out, what's wrong?" he's frowning but his frown isn't cute and adorable like Rachel's, his frown is rough and bordering on raging and it scares me a little bit, he remembers me to my father when he's about to yell.

"Sorry" I apologize to him, wishing against all odds that I could be having lunch just with my friends and away from Finn.

Would Rachel come to have lunch with me if I ask her to? I want to get to know her a little bit better, I want to break her walls and see if she's the person that I need by my side, I want to know if she would be able to handle what's going on because like it or not, I need support and she is the person that I need it from.

I'm seven weeks along and soon I'm going to have to go to doctor's appointments and bills will come soon after that, I will need new clothes and vitamins and I need to know if I can count on her or if I'm going to have to apply for a job as a waitress on Breadstixs.

"You're doing it again" Finn says louder than before and the tone of his voice makes me jump in my seat because he's right, I'm zoning him out.

"Watch it, Finnocence" Santana threatens him with a finger pointing at his chest.

"Mind your own business" he's getting angry, the vein on his forehead is palpating and his face is getting red. He is really easy to read, Rachel is not though; I always feel at a loss with her and I like that mysterious side that she can pull out even if it drives me crazy from time to time.

I find his eyes one more time and I touch my head to try and erase all thoughts of Rachel but it's to no avail.

"Finn, please" I beg him. I feel a little dizzy and I just want to stay quiet, there is so much in my head right now and I feel like I can't deal with any more pressure at the moment.

"What is wrong with you? You've been avoiding me all this week and when we're together you just zoned out on me… are you angry because of what happened last Friday?" he whispers the last part in my ear as his face gets even redder and I take a deep breath before answering him.

"I'm not angry Finn" suddenly I feel so tired, I want him away from me. I don't think that I can stand him anymore; I don't _want_ to stand him anymore.

"Then what is it?" he's back at whining and getting irritated by the second.

I look up at Santana and she furrows her brow at me, I should be telling Finn about the baby right now, that was the plan but I won't go through with it. I shake my head at her in the slightest of ways telling her that it's not going to happen.

"I'm sorry Finn, I just have a lot on my mind" I excuse myself but the look on his face just gets angrier and I tell him exactly what I've been wanting to tell him for so long, "I don't think I want a relationship with you anymore."

"What!" he and Santana yell at the same time. The action gets me a little out of hand but I recover quickly, only because I want it to be over as soon as possible.

I send Santana a look, silently telling her that I'll talk to her later and explain my decision. She rolls her eyes and huffs an exasperated sigh but she doesn't say anything; Finn is another story though.

He looks ready to kill someone, more specifically, _me. _It's a little sad the way that he tries to control himself but fails miserably.

"You said you weren't angry and now you're breaking up with me?" he practically yells but as soon as the words leave his mouth his expression changes and he suddenly looks confused, "that's what you were saying, right?" he asks for confirmation and I nod my head patiently because I have gotten used to him and the thought alone, saddens me to no end.

"I'm not mad Finn, I just can't do this. I have so much in my head right now, I'm sorry to throw this on you this way but we're over."

I don't wait to hear or see his reaction, I just stand and walk away thinking that maybe the cafeteria wasn't the best place to break up with him, no _I know _that it wasn't the right place but I won't put him through anything else. He can do better, he deserves better.

My feet take me to the only place that can offer some kind of privacy in school, the bathroom. It doesn't surprise me to see Santana's and Brittany's reflections when I look up to see my reflection in the mirror.

"I just did that" I whisper before I splash some water in my face. Santana is worried, I can feel it more than I can see it in her eyes but I know that deep down she was hoping that I won't go through with what we planned.

"Well," she takes a deep breath as I turn around to face her.

"Are you sad?" Brittany suddenly asks me with a sad look on her face that I don't really understand.

"Why would I be sad?" her brow furrows and she looks at Santana for help but my best friend doesn't break eye contact with me and it's not much of help for Britt.

"You just broke up with your boyfriend, if I were to ever break up with Santana I'd be really sad," the blonde finally admits and now I'm the one frowning.

She's right, I just broke up with my boyfriend of the last six months and all I feel is relieve. It isn't right, how could I have been with him for so long if I didn't even love him?

"We'll talk about the mushy crap later; do you care to explain why you didn't do what you were supposed to do?" Santana's tone is demanding but I recognize the quiver in it. She is not angry or disappointed, she just wants to understand, she doesn't like to be left out in the loop.

Looking at my clock I realize that we still have twenty minutes before lunch break ends and I still need to get those cookies. I don't want my baby starving all afternoon.

"I've been thinking Santana and I couldn't do it" I start to explain but then I stop myself because I hate to see the worrisome in her eyes and I have to remember that all she wants to do is help me.

"And?"

"It's not fair, I can't do that to him, or her," she stays quiet for a moment and that's enough clue that I've said something wrong. I look down, avoiding her stare.

"Look at me Fabray," she dares me and as soon as I meet her eyes I know that she's done waiting for my explanation, she is going to be blunt and brutal.

"Does this has anything to do with what happened last Friday?" of course I told her about my encounter with Rachel, she _is_ my best friend after all.

"In part, yes" I admit as she takes a step closer to me.

"Do you have feelings for the midget?"

"No" when I hear my voice I cringe because that didn't sound convincing at all.

"Shit, Quinn!"

As expected, she starts pacing the bathroom as Brittany stands beside me and places a comforting hand on my arm, we both know Santana well enough to know when she needs to pace to burn the anger that sometimes boils inside of her like fire.

When she's finally done with pacing and cursing under her breath she comes back to us and stands in front of me with a pained expression in her eyes.

"I love you and you're my best friend but sometimes you're so stupid and this is one of those times!" she says through greeted teeth, "how can you… I mean what do you find in her, seriously? Huh?"

I understand her reaction but at the same time I don't. She should know me better than to ask me that, she knows that I need Rachel, she knows it.

"I'm having her baby, Santana" I can't help to sound as broken as I do, as I can't help the tears that will in my eyes when my throat starts hurting.

"Be nice, San" Brittany warns her but that only irritates the brunette more.

"Don't you start crying right now Q, I'm warning you" she points her index finger at me but her expression softens instantly when I look up at her and before I know it, she has enveloped her arms tightly around me in a tight and protective hug.

I have to admit that her hands on my back running up and down manage to calm me down and make me feel like I'm not alone in this whole mess.

"Everything is going to be ok, Quinn. We'll think of something, I won't let you go through this alone, hear me?"

"Thank you" I whisper as I rest my head on her shoulder. We stay like this for a few minutes before we finally pull back and she smiles playfully and winks.

"I have your back" she says with a light smile but somehow that's the most meaningful promise that anyone has even done to me, "let's go get you something to eat before we go to class, no niece of mine is going to be starving for the rest of the afternoon."

And just like that she confirms what I was just thinking and I know that my baby already has claimed a spot in her heart.

After I get some cookies and peach juice we head back to our classes without saying much.

I know that Santana will have my back no matter what happens but I also know that it's not fair to put this on her when she holds no responsibility for my situation whatsoever.

"Sleepover at mine?" she suddenly asks with a small smile gracing her lips and I instantly love the idea.

"Sure think" I tell her and she gives me a reassurance squeeze on my hand before disappearing down the hallway with Brittany's hand on one of her own.

…

As I drive towards Santana's house my mind decides to run through everything that's happened in the entire week, especially today.

I really thought that Finn was _it_ for me, that I wasn't going to find anyone else who would be willing to bear with me and my attitude, well I still believe that. No one would ever want to be in a relationship with the ice queen, no one is that stupid.

But the break up didn't actually make me feel anything, I'm supposed to be hurt, I'm supposed to be a wining mess, he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss and my first date, I should be sad but I'm not.

I never had real feelings for him and that is now a fact.

At the thought of Rachel my heart skips a beat, her smile is really breathtaking when she's being honest and she's been so nice the last couple of day, so attentive with me and all of those little things that she does give me hope that maybe she is a bigger person than everyone gives her credit for.

I want to get to know her better, I want to talk to her and know her antics, know what makes her laugh and what saddens her; I want to know what she's passionate about and the things she can't stand, I want to know what goes through her mind when she furrows and tightens her lips, and what she's thinking when she smiles softly at me.

She is self-center but that is not necessarily a bad thing because all the layers of sweetness and thoughtfulness can cover that up any time for sure and I want to be able to dig through those layers and see the real her.

Santana's house is the biggest one on the block and I instantly see her as I turn the corner. Thankfully my father is good friends with her dad and that's the only reason why I can be friend with her, of why my father approves of her friendship.

"Sup bitch? Come on in."

I don't even bother in answering to her very particular greeting and I just follow her inside the very spacious living room.

"Where are your parents?" I ask when I notice how quiet her house is. At this point I should be receiving a hug from her mother as she asks me a million questions about everything and everyone. I love Mrs. Lopez.

"They went to New York for the weekend with the Puckerman," the last name instantly perks my attention and suddenly I find myself wishing that I could be as close to them as Santana's family seems to be. "Doctor conference or some crap."

It's a common occurrence that her parents travel with Rachel's to Doctor's conferences since they work at the same Hospital and are good friends.

This means that Rachel and Puck are home alone as well as Santana is right now, I bet they already have a party planned for tonight and tomorrow, probably the entire weekend, who knows with them.

I take a deep breath as I enter her room and when I see her bed a sudden need to lay down envelops me, but I push it aside quickly.

"Leave your bag here, put on some nice comfy clothes and let's have a marathon of horror movies in the living room" she commands with a grin on her face and I immediately do as she says loving the idea already.

This is what I love about my friendship with Santana, the fact that she knows how I feel and think because she works the same way that I do, even if we never show it or verbalize anything, we just know, it's like an invisible bond that we share, she is my sister in so many ways.

We settle on the large couch on separate ends in the living room and just because we're simply too proud to admit that we'll need a hug during the movies. We are best friends but we still like to keep each other in check, we are badasses and nothing is changing that.

After watching _Cujo_ we're both pretending not to be scared for the movie we've seen about fifty times by now, is it wrong that it keeps scaring us? Probably is but that won't stop us from watching it again.

We ordered pizza, one for each of course, mine with extra bacon, extra cheese for her. Lately I've been so much hungrier than before, sleepy and exhausted all together and then the morning sicknesses make me want to stop sleeping all at once but like Santana said yesterday, it'll be worth it in the end.

I've missed spending quality time with San, just being the two of us, watching a film without the need to say anything to break the silence because there are no awkward silences between us, just confortable ones, we know each other well and we both know that we enjoy our silence move than anything; it's comforting enough to know that the other is there, that we count with each other, that's all we really need.

"After all the times we've seen this crap" she says turning the lights on and turning off television set.

"I know" I sip of my glass of water and try to erase the image of the dog in the movie, well more like a beast, I really don't know why we watch this film. This is why I don't like dogs anyway.

"So," she faces me and I know it's time to discuss what little we can handle, "I'm not going to give you crap about what you may feel for Rachel, you're having her baby and I'm sure that you've developed some feelings for her because of that, so I'm just gonna hear you out and let you know that I'm here, ok?"

Always the blunt one, always clear to make her point across while still being my best friend during it.

"I love you" I tell her and we both chuckle at my sudden choice of words "I really do" I tell her between laughs.

"Sorry Q, but I'm taken" she smirks and I punch her arm playfully making her whine in pain. Yeah, I still have the best guns from the both of us, pregnant or not.

"I don't love you, love you silly" she chuckles again as the blush from my cheeks start to disappear.

"I know," she rolls her eyes and looks away and then I hear something like a whisper, something like "Iloveyoutoo" and it makes me so giddy that I immediately smile as wide as I can and get ready to tease her about it.

"What was that?" I ask her but she fixes me with an almost deathly glare of her own that doesn't really do anything to scare me.

"Don't push it," she threatens but I laugh even harder. I knew she wasn't gonna repeat it, that's as far as I would get from her and we both laugh again at the recognition of that, she's more of a sister to me than Charlotte ever was, I'm glad to have Santana in my life.

"I want to get to know her" I admit and she nods her head, even if she doesn't approve she will support me, just like she always does.

"Want to tell me why you broke up with Finnocence?"

"It wasn't right San, I gave it a lot of thought and it wasn't fair for him, or Rachel, she has the right to know that I'm pregnant."

"Bullshit!" she's really upset as she cuts me off and here comes the bluntness that I sometimes hate but love at the same time, "she has no right to anything! She didn't use protection, damn it!" I understand why she's so upset, I'd act the same way if this were to ever happen to her, I really wish it doesn't though but for now she can be upset for the both of us because I'm pass that point, now I just want to focus on what I can do.

"It's her child as well, San" I try to reason with her and watch as she deflates in the couch, she's not going to fight me anymore because even if the situation is so mess up, even if she still hates Rachel's guts for what's happening, she knows I'm right.

"Whatever" she rolls her eyes, "I guess you're right, it wasn't really fair for Finn if I have to accept it."

"Yeah" we stay quiet for a moment just thinking about the situation. I'm scared senseless, I wish I could disappear or go back in time but none of those two options is possible.

"You didn't seem affected by the break up."

"I know, I really thought I love him" I confess her, even though she already knows that it was never meant to progress or move on any further. She never liked Finn and specially not as my boyfriend.

"How do you think she'll react?" I ask her and she furrows her brow, now her train of thoughts going somewhere completely different.

"She better reacts the best way possible and stand by you if she doesn't want me to send her to the fucking hospital, that's how" she says showing me her fist and I find the action incredibly endearing, I like her protective side, it's good to know that I can really count on her.

"Easy tiger," I tease her and she smiles, making me laugh a little, "I don't think she's such a bad person San" I admit after a couple of seconds and she takes a deep breath before locking her eyes with mine in a dead serious stare.

"That's because you're always looking for the good in people that you like," she says and I furrow my brow, I'm not such a good person with people, I'm not known as the ice queen for nothing, "you're not that big of a bitch" she says and my eyes widen making her laugh with the action.

"You just went inside my head there for a second" I tell her and she nods her head in agreement.

"That's right but it's true, take me for example," she says shrugging her shoulder and sitting a bit more comfortable on the couch, "I'm a bitch to everyone, even with you sometimes but you know deep down that I have your back and you go with that and you're right because I do."

I admit that she has a point; no one in their right state of mind will come closer to Santana without fearing for their lives.

"Finn; everyone knows he's the worst guy ever, insensitive most of the times dumb as a rock but you focused on his sweet and rare moments" she states that like a fact and I realize that she's speaking the truth, no one even likes Finn that much in school, he is the quarterback but that's as far as his popularity goes.

"Now Rachel; she's the biggest player of Lima history but you are trying to see the good in her as well, would you please enlighten me on that because I'm honestly at a loss there."

I look down at my lap as I think about Rachel and her sweet smile, her soft hands and safe arms, I think about her lips and the sound of her voice that soothed me when I was scare the most.

"She's sweet" I tell her and I can't help to smile as I tell her that, but my best friend rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "give her a chance, she's my baby's daddy… or whatever" I don't even know why I'm advocating for her, all I know is that I need my best friend while I figure this out and Rachel is the other half of this puzzle whether we want it or not.

"So she's sweet. Wow Quinn, you got yourself a goldmine there" she sarcastically says.

"Bitch" I tell her and she smirks at my direction, she knows I hold no malice in that words.

"Tell me something new Q, keep going."

"I really believe that she will stand by me as you so put it, she likes me. I can see it, I'm not blind and neither are you."

I've come to that conclusion in the last four minutes even though it's not so hard to tell once I really think about it.

"She likes everybody, have you forgotten that she has slept with half of our school?"

That statement hurts me way more than it should because that's information that I'm already aware of, but it does and I'm surprised by the bile boiling up in my throat at the mental images that have suddenly popped in my head.

"I haven't but you know what she said to me last Friday, she likes me and she may have feelings for me" I lower my voice on the last words because I'm not sure about that yet, I'm trying to believe it but I'm not sure.

"You're choosing to believe that" she points out, propping her elbow on the armrest with a serene expression on her face, "but you could be right" she adds when I stay quiet, suddenly my heart starts beating a little faster, hope is a very strong feeling, especially when you find yourself in my situation and you try to hold onto every bit of hope that you can.

"Did she say something to you?" I ask her without really processing anything first, Rachel represents every bit of hope that I need and I desperately must know what she's feeling.

"No Q, I don't talk to her since she and Puck tried to talk me into a threesome, I told you about that."

At the moment Santana was pretty upset with Puck, she never slept with Puck again after that and Rachel never got closer to her as well, I wonder what my best friend actually did to keep those two away from her.

"I've seen the way she looks at you, the way she talks to you, like you are the only thing in the world, like you…" she stops, looking for the right words as patience slips me.

"Like I what?"

"Jeez Q" I realize that I ask too quickly and too loud to sound like simple curiosity, "we need a new plan" she says and this time I roll my eyes when her smirk makes an appearance.

"We just need to get to know her better," I tell her and she rolls her eyes, we do that a lot, don't we? I wonder how we don't get headaches often.

"We need a plan; we need to know if she actually has feelings for you, which will come out when you tell her about being pregnant."

"Right, when should I tell her?" now I feel terrified at the mere prospect, I really don't want to get my heartbroken and that's exactly what will happen if she were to bail on me.

"Monday, let her have this weekend free of worries, you can drop the bomb on her Monday morning," it's reasonable, so I nod my head accepting her proposal but soon I start to play with my hands on my lap, what if she doesn't have feelings for me, what will I do then? I no longer have Finn, she's all I have left.

"Hey" Santana calls me and I look up to find her closer to me, "no matter what happens and no matter how she reacts, I'm always gonna be here and if things get rough at your house with Mister and Misses perfect, I'm sure my mom will have the guestroom ready for you in no time, she loves you more than she loves me, I think" we chuckle lightly and she continues, "you'll never be alone ok? So don't be afraid of you being homeless."

"Ok" I whisper while tears stream down my cheeks, she wraps her arms around me. Santana also provides me with safety but it's a different feeling, a different sentiment of what I felt when I was in Rachel's arms.

"I really do love you, you know" I whisper in her ear after a few minutes of hugging her and she takes a deep breath.

"I love you too, Quinn," she says before backing off from the embrace "and if you tell anyone that I said that, I will ends you" she says as a matter of fact, I try to hold back a laugh as she furrows her brow, "I'm still a bitch, don't forget that" she warms me before laughing with me.

…

**How do you guys think Rachel will react? Let me know your opinions, thanks for reading. **


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN **

**REACTIONS**

"I'm pregnant."

Her eyes narrow, she blinks and breathes as calm as she can even though I can see that she's trying.

Its lunch period and we are standing on the hallway while all of our friends are in the cafeteria. I should have picked another time to tell her, I should have waited until the end of the day but as soon as I saw her I didn't even have to think before I was walking towards her and pulling her back and now here we are.

She looks down and swallows hard; the action reminds me of when I'm trying to swallow a knot in my throat when I'm trying not to cry.

"Congratulations" her voice sounds broken when she finally speaks but why is she congratulating me about this?

"Rachel, I'm pregnant" I repeat the words and she slowly looks up to lock eyes with me. She looks absolutely heartbroken.

"I heard you the first time Quinn, congratulations. Now I have to find Finn and congratulate him" she chuckles without any real humor before she frowns, "I thought you guys broke up?"

The night of the party; she thinks that I slept with him, she saw me walking out of the room where he passed out after arriving before we could do anything.

"Rachel," I call her name and she takes a deep breath before looking up yet again, she looks like she's about to burst into tears at any moment now and I feel the need to clear up her line of thought, "I never slept with Finn."

Her expression changes and suddenly I'm hit with a thousand of emotions at once. I saw the relieved on her face when she found out that I didn't sleep with Finn, the heartbreak when she thought that I was pregnant with his child and then I realized that I'm not ready for this, she is not ready for this, we are sixteen and it is too early to have something changing our lives forever.

"Don't cry Quinn" I feel her fingerprints cleaning my tears and her body getting closer to me, I let her hold me and run her hands on my back and hair while she hugs me tight and I clung onto her jacket for dear life. It's not fair.

Somehow, being in her arms makes me feel safe, protected, she has already taken part of the burden and from this moment on however way she reacts to everything else, she is already helping me carry it.

The pace of her breathing increases immensely as she holds me, her heartbeat accelerates with every single breath she takes in and her entire body shakes as her hold around me tightens; she figured it out.

"It's mine, isn't it?" her voice cracks as she speaks, I pull back to look into her eyes but she doesn't step back, her hands are still holding me close and the hold I have on her jacket only tightens.

"Yes," I breathe out, she starts shaking even harder than before. She is terrified, completely and utterly terrified but she still looks down and stares at my covered belly between our bodies.

She starts to hyperventilate as a few tears manage to roll down her face, I hate to do this to her, I hate that I am the one that is making her feel this way but I didn't ask for any of this to happen either.

"Please, calm down," I desperately ask her, "breathe."

She nods her head and rests her forehead against my own, and she stays close to me until her breathing has gone back to normal.

She kisses my temple with a softness I've only dreamed of someone having with me and her lips linger on my skin as her soft hands caress my neck.

I start to cry again, I feel relieved that she is not running away, I feel more scared than I did this morning, I feel hope building up inside of me and I am terrified of what tomorrow will bring.

I'm lost, we are lost and I can see it in her eyes, I can see the uncertainty when she pulls back and locks eyes with me as she tears up silently as well.

She holds me closer again, letting me burry my face on her chest and accept the comfort that her arms provide me with, she kisses the top of my head and rocks me back and forth, back and forth until my sobs subside and I can think with clarity again.

"We're gonna be alright," I pull back but without letting go of her jacket and making sure that her arms are still holding me. She smiles at me, even if it's not a full smile, she tries anyway before she kisses my temple one more time, "I want to tell you, not to worry but I know that that's impossible but I can tell you one certain thing," she pauses and takes a deep breath before reaching for my hands and bringing them up between our bodies, she kisses the back of both my hands before pressing them against her chest.

"Everything is going to be alright, no matter what happens I'm here for you, ok? I'm here for you, with you."

And for the first time since I found out that I'm pregnant I truly believe that I'll be alright, she is not running away and that is more than I ever wished for. I hold her tight and she holds me back just as strong.

"What are we going to do?" I ask from my position between her arms but she pushes me back until she can see into my eyes.

"Well, what do you want to do?" but before I can even think of something to say the bell rings and everybody starts walking down the hallway and around us. She looks torn and a little angry that our conversation is being so rudely interrupted.

"We could take the rest of the day off and discuss it," I want to go with her but I remember a stupid assignment that I've been working for weeks on.

"I can't, I have to deliver this assignment."

She nods in understatement but steps back from me and lets go of my hand just before some of her friends walk pass us and greet her. It hurts that she did it but we are not even together so it shouldn't bother me but it does.

"Ok, how about you come over to my house after school?" she offers rather hesitantly and then hurries to explain, "I know that your parents can be a bit hard to handle, mine won't mind if you come over and go up to my room for a while," she gives me a reassurance smile as I nod my head in agreement, "great, I'll wait for you then."

"I'm driving" I tell her before she walks away.

"Sure, anything you want. I'll wait for you so we can ride together."

Her eyes focus on nothing in particular and she seems frozen on the spot. She is nothing like the girl I always thought I knew, if she were she would have run and left me to deal with this by myself, she is already proven herself to be the right choice, just like I thought she'd be.

"Rachel, are you ok?" she's sweating and flushed and she keeps nodding her head like she's out of herself, "stop that."

"Stop what?" she looks up, her head nodding as her eyes lose focus from me one more time. How I wished I could know what she's thinking about?

"Stop nodding your head and remember to breath."

"Don't worry, I'm alright. Are you alright? You didn't get anything to eat for lunch, I'll grab you something real quick and bring it to you or maybe you should just take this period off and go eat something, you can't go the entire afternoon without eating, you're… pregnant and…"

She takes a deep breath and lets out a strangled chuckle; tears will up in her eyes again as she looks at my belly.

"And our kid has to eat something. No wait," she grabs her backpack and pulls out a little brown bag and looks inside before handing it to me.

"My mom always put those in there just in case I get hungry throughout the day, I always do though," she smiles as I put the bag with the sandwiches inside my cheerios' bag.

"Thank you," I smile at her as I try to suppress the surprise at her sudden caring attitude. _Our child_, that doesn't sound bad at all.

"I'll see you in Glee, right?" she is still nodding her head, the weight of everything is taking its toll on her, she is frightened to no end.

"Yes, of course."

I start to walk away but just before I round a corner I turn around and find her sitting on the ground with her head between her hands and her body shaking, I can tell that she is crying.

…

I haven't been able to focus on any of my afternoon classes. The image of Rachel crying on the floor in the hallway hasn't left my mind for one single minute.

The look on her face was devastated, she doesn't know what to do but she still tried for me, for us, for our child.

"Are you coming?" I barely register Santana's question but I see her worried expression in front of me and that's what makes me react, when did the class end?

"Yeah" I grab my stuff in silence and when I'm done we're alone in the classroom, everybody has already left.

"What's going on? Did you tell her?" by the tone of her voice I can tell that she's in full protective mode, if Rachel said the wrong thing she's ready to go to find her and kick her ass if she has to.

"I did" my answer aggravates her and I realize that I'm not exactly being clear.

"I'm going to kill her" before she gets the chance to get even more work up, I hold her hand and force her to look at me.

"Then who is going to help me raise this baby?" I try to smile as her face contorts in confusion. "She was good, she didn't run and she's going to be with me on this."

She lets out a breath she's been holding and squeezes my hand in support and doesn't let go as we walk out of the classroom and into the hallway.

"But you look sad, what happened? Did she say something to upset you?"

"She was perfect, actually but…" the image of a broken Rachel sitting against the lockers hits me again and my stomach contorts in guilt, I did that to her, the news did that to her.

"But what?"

"I don't think she handled it so well"

"Was she scared?"

"Terrified, she was trying to hide it but I saw it, it looked like she was about to faint or something," my best friend actually chuckles at this and I glare at her for her lack of apathy towards Rachel. "It's not funny" I reprimand her.

"It kinda is, not the situation though, just you know? Watching the idiot faint would make my day."

I don't find it funny at all, I actually find her entire comment really upsetting because I don't want to even think about Rachel fainting or anything bad happening to her. I need her to be okay, not because of the support she represents but because of the peace of mind that that knowledge gives me.

I let go of my best friend's hand and pick up my pace, wanting to put some distance between her and I.

"Come on, Q, you know I didn't mean it. I'm just trying to light the mood here" the worst part is that I know that but there is an irrational part of me that makes me want to yell at her and tell her to back of Rachel.

"This is serious, Santana. I don't want anything bad to happen to her and if this situation is a hard time for her, I want to be with her. I don't want anything bad to happen to her."

I look down as she gets closer and holds my hands again. I don't want to hear her say something about how attached I am to Rachel right now because I don't need it, I already know that.

"I know, ok? I'm sorry but you know that I'm not her biggest fan right now because of everything that's happening."

"Neither am I," I let her know and we both let out a deep breath before we start to walk again.

I know Santana is only trying to help, she has my best interests at heart and I appreciate her for everything but I feel like I need Rachel by my side and not just because she is supposed to face this with me but also because I _want_ her by my side.

"What else did she say?" we stop just a few steps before we get to the Choir room, it's really quiet anyway that it seems like nobody is in there yet.

"We couldn't talk that much but I'm going to her house after Glee Club so we can discuss everything that needs to be."

"You are going to her house?"

"That's what we agreed on," if it wasn't for her eye roll or the way her lips are pursed I would still have been able to tell that she's angry because her entire posture changes drastically.

"And you think that all you're going to do is talk in a room with a bed with Rachel Puckerman around?"

Rachel has a reputation for something and I can tell where Santana's concerns are coming from but this situation is different.

"I won't give in Santana; I was drunk when this happened remember?"

She rolls her eyes again and takes a deep breath, she doesn't buy it and I don't blame her since it's not me she doesn't trust, it's Rachel.

"Look, bring her to my house; my parents called me they'll be home after midnight, you need a neutral place to talk to her, a place without a bed around, I'll stay in the kitchen listening to what the idiot says to you, you will be in the living room."

I want Santana with me, she's the only one that has been with me since the beginning of this and having her around will definitely be a plus, but what would Rachel think about it?

"Do you think she'll mind?" my best friend sighs and looks up to lock eyes with me.

"She knocked you up and left in the middle of the night while you passed out in her disgusting bed and you're considering her feelings right now?" her words hurt me more that I could ever imagined they would and everything about her stand is telling me that I'm an idiot.

I still can't believe that she didn't wear any protection; I can't believe that she actually did what Santana is saying and the thought makes me angry.

"You're right," I breathe out and she nods her head accepting what I'm saying.

"Aren't I always?"

We smile before we turn around to enter the Choir room but as soon as we set foot inside I know that something real bad just happened.

The Choir room isn't empty as I initially thought, everybody is in here standing by the piano and all eyes are on me.

Finn stares at me with a constipated expression at first and then his expression morphs into hurt and then into anger. I take a step closer when I realize that everyone heard my conversation with my best friend but he steps back and then walks around me, avoiding me and going for the door.

"Finn, wait" I don't know why I run behind him but I do, I feel like I own him an explication but when he turns around -his face the vivid image of anger- I take a step back in fear.

"You lied to me!" he screams in my face, "you broke up with me because of her?" his brow is furrowed deeply and I feel tears running down my cheeks as soon as I hear the broken tone on his voice, "and you're pregnant with her child?" he punches the lockers with all his strength as Santana steps in front of me, shielding me with her body.

"Calm down, big guy" she says in a soft voice and I immediately know that I'm not the only one scared because of his attitude.

"Calm down?!" he hits the lockers again, this time Santana and I jump at the sound of the impact.

"What's going on?" I hear Rachel's voice from somewhere behind me and what happens next, happens so fast that I almost don't catch any of it.

As soon as Finn sees Rachel, he launches towards her but Puck punches Finn square in the face before he could get anywhere near his sister. Now Finn is on the floor holding his bloody nose as Puck towers over him.

"You never hit a girl, ever!" Puck tells him, the muscles on his arms clenching with tension at almost seeing his sister being sucker punched.

"What the hell?" Rachel blinks in confusion but as soon as she sees me she gets closer, worrisome written all over her face, "are you ok? Why are you crying?" before she touches me I walk towards my ex-boyfriend on the floor.

"I didn't break up with you because of her" her keeps trying to stop the bleeding of his nose as I try to explain, "I broke up with you because I have to deal with the consequences of the mistake that I made."

He stands up, tears are falling down his cheeks as well as mine, this is hurting him and I know it because it's hurting me too, this wasn't supposed to be like this, I wasn't supposed to tell him all of this today.

When I feel a hand on my lower back I look back to find Rachel standing by my side, silently telling me that she's here, that's she has my back. Finn's eyes are locked on Rachel's but I can tell that somehow he is letting go and without a single word he turns around and leaves.

I turn around and Rachel is quick to wrap her arms around me in a tight hold, "Is ok" she keeps whispering in my ear as I think about everything that just happened.

Now everyone knows about this, not just Rachel and Finn but everyone. Rachel holds me until I don't have any more tears to cry, her hands running up and down my back trying to calm me down all the while.

"We're going to be just fine, you'll see" she kisses the side of my head and those words make my heart flutter, because she didn't say that _I_ am going to be okay, she said _we_ and that tells me that she is serious about being in this with me.

When I finally look up I find all the Glee Club standing around us, some more shocked than others but everyone looks ready to spread the rumor and I hate it. My life is once again amusement for the school body.

"I think we need to go sis" Puck's voice breaks me out of my induced stupor and I feel Rachel take a deep breath before I take a step back but her hands on my waist don't let me get too far.

"Quinn?" her voice is soft when she says my name and in a sweet action she reaches out and wipes the tears off of my face with her fingers in a lovingly way. She cares about me, she'd never do this for some girl that she slept with, I know her feelings run a little deeper than she's leading on, "do you wanna skip Glee?" I nod my answer and she kisses my temple before stepping back and allowing my best friend to get to me.

"We're going to my place" Santana says but Rachel's eyes are focused on me.

"Is that what you want?" she asks me for clarification.

"Yes"

"Ok, then that's where we're going."

…

I have to admit that Santana's house is my comfort zone, always has been but right now, with Rachel sitting in front of me looking as lost and terrified as I am, it makes me feel uneasy.

Although I'm no longer crying and she seems to be a little more in control than she was this afternoon when we parted, she still looks at a loss. We don't know what to do or what are the things that actually need to be discuss.

"This is ridiculous" she finally stands up and from the couch, only to get closer and kneel right in front of me. I look up and see my best friend sitting at the dining table with Puck and they both are paying attention to what's happening between Rachel and I.

The heat of Rachel's hands envelop mine and suddenly I feel myself holding tight to her hands, she is already giving me support even if she doesn't realizes. She rests our joined hands on my lap and takes a deep breath before smiling a sweet and scared smiled.

"Let's talk" as she sits more comfortably on the floor I notice that she is trying twice as hard to be confident, to be supportive, she is not just saying what she believes it's what I need, she is here because she knows I need her and she knows it's the right thing to do.

"Yeah, let's" but my voice sounds so broken and a sudden sadness washes over me, everybody knows now.

"Don't worry about what anybody says about you. They're just jealous of you, everybody in school is jealous of you. You're the most beautiful girl walking those hallways and they know it. Let them talk, let them think what they want to think, let them worry about your life because their pathetic ones are no good to worry about. You're perfect."

I swallow the knot in my throat as I stare at her. The way that she spoke those words, the way that her chocolate eyes look at me and the way that she caresses the back of my hands with her thumbs make me think that I'm right in assuming that her feeling for me are well placed.

"What are we going to do?" I finally ask her but before she answers me, she turns back to look at her brother.

"I think you should come and live with me."

"I'm sorry?" I let go of her hands and place them on the sides of the couch to balance myself because I think that I misunderstood her.

"Quinn, I want to be with you on this and the only way we can do that is if we live together."

The idea is insane and completely terrifying but the look on her face puts me off so bad and that makes me angry because she truly believes that this is our best choice to make but she doesn't know what I'll have to face once this get to my parents ears.

"We're not even together and you're asking me to move in with you? Do you have any idea of what my parents will do once they find out? Have you consider what I want? Can't you see that I longer have a life? That my life is ruined thanks to you now!" I don't know exactly when my fear turned into anger but it has and now I face a taken aback brunette.

"Don't do that," she grabs my hands again and when I fight to get out of her grasp she gently holds me in place and forces me to look at her, "listen to me, I'm only suggesting this because I've heard stuff about your parents and you just confirmed those rumors yourself. All I'm trying to do is protect you, give you the option to come with me before they find out, before things get ugly. My parents will be disappointed in me but they won't turn their backs on us, they will support us, I can tell you that much."

"I'm not walking out of my house until they kick me out" I firmly say and I believe in my statement because I know that once this gets to my father I won't have a place to live but the idea of just walking out of my house without being force to do so is not an option.

"Would you at least consider it, please?"

"There's nothing to consider, I'm not leaving my house until I'm forced to do so."

She nods her head, showing defeat.

"That is your decision to make, I can't force you to do anything but know that I'm here for you, I will be right here whenever you need me to be, ok?"

My decision to make, those words unravel something within me and suddenly I feel like exploding because I'm not supposed to be here, I'm not supposed to be pregnant and I'm not supposed to be having options incase my parents kick me out.

"Like it was your decision to screw up my life?" this time when I let go of her hands I also push her back, I want her away from me. She could have used protection and save us all the trouble but she didn't. This isn't supposed to be my life, I'm sixteen and Captain of the Cheerios, I'm _supposed_ to be enjoying being a teenager.

As soon as I feel the tears roll down my cheeks I stand up and walk out of the living room and into the dining area but she follows me quickly.

"What are you talking about?" she grabs my arm before I get to where Santana is now standing and I turn around to face her. My blood boils within my veins; I've never felt so angry before.

"You heard me" I point a finger at her face as I shake my other arm away from her grasp, "it wasn't enough for you to practically _rape_ me, you had to do it without using damn protection!"

"Rape you? What?" the look on her face is telling me to stop, to back off, to think before I say something else but I can't stop myself.

"That's pretty harsh" Puck softly says as he moves closer as well.

"What else can you call it then? Huh? It's not like I was actually conscious or even sober while it happened, or was I?"

"I don't think you remember very well Quinn."

"Would you enlighten us then?" Santana tells him but he shakes his head and looks at his sister, who is looking at me with a broken expression on her face and suddenly all the rage from my body vanishes when I see her glassy eyes and shaking hands.

"I used protection," Rachel tells me and clears her throat as soon as she hears her broken voice.

"Oh please" Santana snaps at her "and who was the one to knocked up Q here? Fucking Jesus?"

"She doesn't need to explain anything to you!"

"The hell she does! Quinn is my best friend!"

A fight unravels between Puck and Santana but Rachel doesn't look away from me, she looks hurt beyond belief and I know that I really screwed up this time.

"I told I had protection and I did but it broke at the last second," she explains and I close my eyes tight. I just accused her of something that happened by accident.

"I wasn't sure when it happened, I thought it broke when I pulled out but I was obviously mistaken, I should have told you sooner but I guess I was just hoping that everything turned out alright."

She takes a deep breath and swallows the knot in her throat before looking up at me again.

"Look, I'm not a deadbeat, I know you and your friends think that I am but I'm not. I'm going to help you with everything that you need," she meets my eyes but only momentarily before she looks down again and a part of my heart breaks with hers as well.

"It's obvious that you hate me and you don't want me near you, I understand so I'm not going to bother you again with that again."

I want to tell her to not give up on that but somehow I feel like I lost the right to do so and I watch her in silence as she pulls out a yellow envelop from her backpack and hands it to me. When I don't take it she takes my hand and puts it there without waiting for me to react.

"I've been saving my allowance since I'm ten, between the money that I make by giving piano and guitar lessons and that I can give you this much. This is not everything though so I can support you with more, you just let me know and I'll be right there."

She lets go of my hand and I squeeze the envelop as she looks at me with a broken and disappointed look on her face.

"Don't worry about money, I'll be there for you, anything you need just let me know."

"Rachel, I…"

"I'm sorry," she stops me as Puck finally stops yelling at my best friend and walks towards the front door of her house, "I never meant to hurt you or put in this position. I'm not ready for a kid, I didn't plan this but I want to be there for you, ok? I'm not going to bail on you. I'm going to do everything I need to do to be a good parent to our kid, I will provide for you and our kid no matter how much it takes and no matter how much I have to give up for you guys, so don't worry about money or support from me, ok?"

She doesn't give me the chance to say anything as she and her brother walk out of Santana's house taking my heart right along with them.

….


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT **

**THANK YOU**

Have you ever wished you could turn back time and take back something that you said? Have you ever wished that you could control what comes out of your mouth when you are scared or terrified? Have you ever wished that you could accept the blame instead of just throwing it around to the one person that is trying to help you?

It never comes true, you can never take back your words and as much as you wish you can't turn back time to make things right.

I don't know how long it's been since I stopped crying, or how long I was actually doing it, all I know is that I am the biggest idiot on this earth right now.

I can't believe the things I said, or the way that I said them and as much as I try I know that I will never forget the look on Rachel's face when I accused her of something completely false.

I wasn't sober when it happened, that much I remember clearly but in the last month I've remembered little bits of that night and she wasn't the one to make a move on me, she wasn't the one to take me upstairs and she definitely didn't _rape_ me.

God! Just the thought of what I said is enough to send me through another guilty party. She didn't deserve that, she didn't need to hear that, her only crime was to let herself be seduced by me and be the gentlest and most caring person I've ever met in my life.

These hormones are taking its toll on me and I hate that I let them control me, my emotions are not mine anymore, I feel like a toy that its being used and has to cry and laugh at any given minute now.

I set the glass of milk on the coffee table and return my head to rest on Santana's shoulder where it's been for the last hour or so.

Now Rachel thinks that I don't want her near me and that is far from the truth.

"That could have gone way better."

My best friend finally breathes out as I take a deep breath but remain motionless. I don't blame Santana for anything, I know her protective side and I should have known beforehand that she wasn't going to just sit back and watch me discuss something this important while she played the role of the perfect listener.

"Quinn, I'm sorry. I know I messed up, it wasn't my place to say the things that I said but I couldn't stay back and just watch."

I look up as soon as I hear her apologize and I look into her eyes in this rare but deep moment of truth. She doesn't like to recognize a mistake, especially when it's her own; that it's how I know that she really regrets what happened today.

"It's not your fault."

"Yeah, but it wasn't my place either, sometimes I really believe that I should learn some self-control," I look at her and raise my eyebrow in a silent question, she smirks and bobs her head from side to side, "okay, that's a lie but I really am, you know? Sorry."

"I accused her of rape Santana, so I really believe that you were alright."

We stay quiet for a few seconds before she takes the yellow envelop from the coffee table and hands it to me.

"What's in it?"

"Money."

"I don't think she's a deadbeat anymore."

"She thinks that I hate her."

"But you don't, beside she likes you and she said that she'll be there for you, she's not running away and I don't think she's not a deadbeat just because she's giving you money but because she really isn't and she showed it today."

…

As soon as I park my car besides Finn's in my house' driveway I know that something is wrong. It feels like my stomach it's about to fall out of my body, I feel like I'm going to be sick and instead of walking I run towards the front door and push it open.

"Sit."

My father's tone leaves no room for argument. I door closes behind me with a soft click that does nothing to persuade my mother's sobs from the loveseat where she's hiding her face.

The smirk of Finn's lips is a dead giveaway of what he's done and I feel betrayed, more so than ever before.

"I said sit!"

I jump at the harshness of my father's tone and do as he says. My mother doesn't look up and Finn's smirk only grows wider. I can't believe him.

"How could you?" I ask him but all the response he gives me is a childish shrugs of the shoulders.

"How could he? How could you?!" my father screams as he stands up and starts pacing the living room.

He is not even asking me if it's true, he is choosing to believe Finn and I hate the way that knowledge makes me feel, I hate that I fear him and I hate wanting his support at the same time.

"Haven't we taught you anything?"

All I see in his eyes is pure disappointment and disgust and it makes my insides clutch with shame.

"Daddy, please. I didn't…"

"You nothing!" he screams, his finger pointing right at my face, and taking a step closer to me.

"I don't want to hear you," he looks at me from head to toe with nothing but disgust and then steps back from me, like I'm carrying some kind of contagious disease, "I can't believe you would actually let that _freak_ touch you."

As soon as the words leave his mouth tears roll down my face.

A freak?

Rachel is not a freak but I'm afraid to tell my father so and instead look back to ask my mom for help but she hides her face in her hands one more time and I know that she won't be saying a single word tonight.

"I want you and your disgrace out of my house, you are not my daughter anymore, I won't be related to that abomination that's growing inside of you."

He turns around and shows me his back as my heart breaks in two.

"Daddy," I call him, my voice broken beyond compare but he doesn't turn around to look at me as I uncontrollably sob, "daddy, please, I need you."

He turns his head to the left and for a second I truly believe that he is going to turn around completely and come and hug but he doesn't.

"You have thirty minutes to get out of here, I won't have you living under my roof."

"Mom!" I'm desperate but my mother just stands up and walks behind my father out of the living room as she keeps crying.

"You can go now Finn, thank you."

Just now I remember him being here but I don't care about him anymore, he got what he wanted, he just destroyed every ounce of hope that I had in my favor.

"Mr. Fabray?" I hear him hesitantly call my father, "you're being rather extreme about this."

"I said good night!"

Finn doesn't put much of a fight as he slowly walks out through the front door without even looking up from the hallway carpet.

"Leave the car keys on the dining table," my father says before he disappears upstairs with my mother close behind him.

I stand alone in the living room with no idea of what to do or where to go. I don't even feel angry with Finn, I just feel lost until I remember someone.

With shaking hands I pick up my phone and search for the only person that it's as terrified about this as I am and just the sound of her soft '_Hello,_' is enough to make me want to sob in relieved that she actually answer my call.

"Rachel"

"_Are you crying Quinn? Are you okay? Where are you?"_

"Can you pick me up from my house, please?"

"_I'll be there in five minutes_."

…

As I sit on the passenger seat of Rachel's car I think about the last minutes of my life and can't help it when the tears run down my face without my permission. She hasn't asked any question but I don't think she needs to anyway to know what just happened in my house.

The thought of my mother staying quiet behind my father's shadow makes me let out an involuntary sob, why didn't she help me? Why didn't she say anything?

Rachel hands me a little napkin from the console and I take it without looking at her, I'm embarrassed enough and seeing her pitiful eyes would just make me feel worse than I already feel.

She didn't say anything as she help me pack my bags, even if I was sobbing uncontrollably while she placed them on the back seat of her car.

"I have to pick a few things for my mom," Rachel says as we enter the parking lot of the supermarket and she stops the car, "I'll be right back, okay?"

I look up and I can see how she restrains herself from reaching out and touching me, she leaves the car when I give her a weak nod of my head. I don't know how she'll react when I tell her about what Finn did, I don't even know if I want to tell her to be honest, for what I've seen in the past twelve hours she can be very protective.

The sound of the car door closing wakes me up, I didn't even realize I was so tired but I fell asleep a matter of seconds while waiting for her to come back.

The ruffle of paper bags calls my attention and I see Rachel juggling with three bags of groceries in her arms.

"Can you take that?" she asks over one of the bags and I place two of the bags on the back seat floor before I'm met with her gentle stare but I yawn and cover my mouth with my hand as my eyes squeeze shut.

"You were sleeping," it's not a question but I nod anyway as she looks at me with an adorable expression of pure devotion.

"I'm sorry I woke you up but I come with goodies, here" she pulls out a bag of M&M's and hands it to me, my eyes immediately light up at the sight of the candies and she chuckles.

"I've seen you eating them at school so I know you like them" she explains before she places the bag on the back seat with the rest and looks at me as I open and put two little chocolates in my mouth.

Who would have thought that I would crave for M&M's when I was pregnant?

She smiles and shakes her head before she accepts with her lips the chocolate that I'm offering her.

"Just one?" she asks me in pure horror.

"Be glad you're getting it because you're not getting another one."

She laughs but doesn't push, which I'm glad about because I was being serious, my M&M's and I are a one way relationship and that's that.

"It's almost dinner time," she starts the ignition and backing up the parking lot.

We haven't talked about anything that actually matters but as she drives the car on the avenue I pull out my cellphone and dialed my best friend's number, she said I could stay with her. I hope that offer still stands.

"What are you doing?" she asks me as we stop at a red light.

"I'm calling Santana, can you take me there?" her expression suddenly hardens and she takes away the phone from my hands.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

Who the hell does she think she is? Telling me what I can and cannot do.

When she puts my phone in her jeans pockets I stare at her in disbelief but the thing that angers me the most is that she starts driving again, completely ignoring.

"Rachel!"

"You're staying with me."

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are."

"Stop the car!"

"No!"

"Stop the damn car!"

She pulls over on the side of the road and runs in her seat to look at me as the blood boils through my veins with rage.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't just decide whatever you think it's right for me on your own! I am not some kind of child that needs your protection or…"

She takes my flying hands and holds them on my lap and I immediately become silent.

"Listen to me."

"No! Let go of my hands!" I struggle to get out of her grasp but she only holds me stronger.

"Quinn!" her voice raises and I stop fighting her and instead become incredibly aware of the heat that her hands transmit to my skin, "I want to be there for you. I know that we're young and terrified for the most part, and I'm not naïve either. I know that it's not going to be easy but let me be there for you."

Her eyes plead with me and I know that I'm going to cave, not because I don't have any other choice but because I want her to be my choice, I want her to be by my side.

"We can work things out together, I'll talk to my parents tonight, I know they'll be mad at first but they'll come around, they'll support us, let me do things right, please."

I believe in her, I trust her even if I have no reason to do so, I trust her because it feels right so I nod my head as her thumbs caress the back of my hands and a wave of sudden calmness washes over me.

"Thank you for giving me this chance, I won't let you down and I promise you that as long we are together, we'll be alright."

"Okay," I whisper and she smiles before squeezing my hands lightly.

"We're in this together."

She goes back to driving but doesn't let go of my hand. It feels oddly weird to have someone supporting me this way and even more so, someone that by only holding my hand can make me believe that things will actually be alright for once.

Rachel's house is not that far away from Santana's and the neighborhood is very nice place to live. She parks her car behind an Audi and turns off the ignition before turning to look at me.

"One last thing," she smiles nervously and pulls out the keys, "we're going to need to say that we're dating, okay?"

"What?" the apologetic look on her face endears me to her and the more I think about it, the more I realize that I wouldn't mind if I were dating her for real, but I can see where she's coming from.

It's going to be hard for her parents to know about my pregnancy as it is, imagine what they'll do if they find out that Rachel and I are not even dating.

"My mom will be really disappointed as it is, imagine if I tell her that we're not even dating or anything like that, it would break her heart and I don't want to do that."

I guess that her mother's heart will be breaking regardless of that fact but I nod my head, accepting to go with it and she nods her head one as well.

We walk towards the front door with Rachel carrying the two bags with my clothes and then we walk inside.

I've never been seen her house like this before, all clear up from drunk teenagers and red cups all over the floor and for the first time I realize that the house is actually beautiful, it has a homey air going on around, way warmer than my parent's house.

We walk inside the living room and she sets my bags on the loveseat before offering me a nervous smile, she is terrified but not in the way that I was when I saw Finn in my house. I was completely scared, just down the core fear, Rachel looks sad and scared as well but on some extend, for the most part she looks disappointed and aware of the pain that she is about to cause.

"Rachel, baby is that you? Dinner is almost ready, honey! Wash up."

Rachel visible swallows at the sound of the female voice that I'm guessing belongs to her mom.

"Yeah mom, it's me. I brought some company, is dad home yet?"

"Yup, I'm home. What's up, baby girl?"

We're suddenly joined by a tall man on the living area. He is wearing a suit, his hair is really short and he looks buff, his skin tone is the same as Puck and Rachel's.

"Oh, hi there" he waves his hand at me and I notice the kindness in his light eyes as well as the warm smile on his face.

"Good evening, sir."

"This is Quinn, dad" Rachel holds my hand and squeezes lightly before smiling at me, "this is my dad, Kevin Puckerman."

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"Call me Kevin, hon" he shakes my hand as a young looking woman walks inside the living room. Her hair is dark and her eyes are the exact color of Rachel's chocolate ones but her eyes fall on the two bags instantly and she looks up with concern writing all over her face.

"Mom, this is Quinn," Rachel quickly introduces me but the look on her mom's face tells me that she doesn't really care for my name right now.

"Shelby Puckerman," she also shakes my stretched out hand and when she lets go she holds onto her husband's arm before her eyes fall on our joined hands.

"I don't want to be rude or unwelcoming but what are those bags doing here?"

Rachel visibly tenses up and this time I'm the one that squeezes her hand in support.

"I need to talk to you guys."

And those are the words that make her mother crumble on Kevin's arms. Devastation takes over her features in a matter of two seconds. Kevin holds her by the waist and guides her to seat on the large couch with care.

Rachel looks torn and my own heart breaks right along with her mother's because of it. We take a seat in front of them and wait until her mother gets a hold of her breathing even though she is not crying yet but doesn't look far from it either.

"Is it what I think it is?" Shelby's voice is raw with emotion and it feels like a kick on the stomach to hear her talk like that but surprisingly enough I'm not as scared as I think I should be, maybe Rachel's hold on my hand has something to do with it.

"Yes."

Rachel's whisper is barely audible and her mom starts crying uncontrollably, sobbing and gripping at Kevin's shirt for dear life.

"What were you thinking?" Kevin asks from his seat where he is trying to calm his wife down while running his hand over her back.

"Haven't we taught you anything?"

I sit up straight when I hear him say that because those are the same words that came out of my father's mouth but Rachel squeezes my hand and turns to look at me as she runs her thumb over the back of my hand, silently telling me that it's going to be alright, silently asking me to trust her for a little bit longer.

"You have," Rachel softly says and looks up at him with nothing but regret and humbleness in her eyes, "I've always been careful, I have."

"You call _this_ careful?" Shelby asks her as she desperately tries to stop crying and Kevin hands her a little handkerchief.

"Mom, I promise I have, please stop crying" Rachel pleads with her mother but Shelby's response is to sob one more time before looking up at her daughter.

"Why didn't you use protection?" even though she's crying I can clearly hear the stern tone in her and disappointment in her voice.

"I did."

"Don't lie to us."

"I'm not lying, I swear. The condom broke, I did wear protection but it was an accident."

Her parents stare at her for a little longer before focusing her eyes on me, they obviously believe her and for an irrational second I'm hit with jealousy because I never had my parents on my side and here Rachel is giving them the worst knew that a parent can get from their sixteen year old kid and they believe her explanation.

"That changes things," Shelby says softly before wiping up her nose one more time, and then she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before locking eyes with Rachel. "_Please_ tell me that you are dating this girl."

"Of course I am" Rachel says lifting our joined hands in the air for them to see for themselves.

"I'm so sorry to come home with this news; I know that I promised, we promised that we'd never do this to you but…"

"But it's happening now and we're not going to turn our backs on you like our parents did with us," Kevin cuts Rachel off and after taking a few deep breaths he looks up one more time.

"But believe me when I say that you will work as hard as your mom and I did to get where we are now and don't think for a second that your life is the same as it was this morning."

The tone of his voice is understanding and at the same time stern but his eyes are kind as he looks at us, now I have a better understanding of why they look as young as they do, this happened to them as well and the knowledge gives me some piece of mind because they are fine, they made it and that gives me hope for us as well.

"I know that dad and I was planning on sacrifice everything for my family already."

She looks at me with a small smile tugging at her lips and my heart swells with pride and something completely different, _our family_.

"What happened?" Shelby asks me as she cleans her face and takes deep breaths.

"My parents found out about… my condition and they kicked me out" her features harden instantly.

"Wait, you're the Fabray kid" it's not a question but I still answer anyway.

"I am."

"Your father is a prick" she says looking dead serious and the statement makes me chuckle.

"I guess he deserves that."

"He damn well does" she says as she stands up from the couch and runs her hands on through her long hair, "How far along are you?"

"Six weeks."

"I'll make an appointment with my doctor for your tenth week and don't worry, you'll be fine."

"You should take those bags to the guestroom" Kevin tells Rachel but Shelby jumps ahead.

"She can stay with Rachel," her husband gives her a look and she rolls her eyes, "what's going to happen now, she is already pregnant, isn't she?"

When she doesn't receive more of an argument from Kevin she turns to Rachel one more time.

"Like I said, your room. She stays with you and dinner is ready so come down quickly."

Shelby walks towards the kitchen followed by her husband as my mind races in silence.

"You don't really have to stay in my room, you can take the guestroom if you'd like, there's not trouble."

She tells me but I don't really think that that's an option because her mother seemed reluctant on having me on her room.

"I want to be in your room," she smiles and soon that smile turns into a full on force smile that illuminates the entire room, I don't think I've ever seen that smile on her face before.

"Okay."

We walk hand in hand towards the kitchen and once her mother acknowledges Rachel kisses me cheek and whispers in my ear that she'll be right back.

"Don't think for a second that your life is still the same, you heard you father!" Shelby says pointing her index finger at Rachel's back as she goes upstairs, "you leave those bags in you room and bring down your play station, hear me?"

Rachel stops and turns around in the stairs, her expression a shocked one but before she can even open her mouth her mother raises a spoon in her direction.

"Don't even dare to say a word."

Rachel deflates visibly but doesn't say anything and she disappears up the stairs once and for all.

"Help me set up the table, honey."

I help Shelby set the table in comfortable silence. Things could have gone extremely wrong tonight with Rachel's parents but surprisingly they didn't, I guess most of their support comes from the fact that they got pregnant when they were as young as we are now.

Shelby is the kind of person that observes more than speaks and that's exactly what she is doing right now with me; her eyes follow me as I walk around the table for six setting up the plates and napkins.

When I look up I find her staring at me with a soft but regretful smile on her lips.

"Thank you" I say and she shakes her head, her smile growing larger but just slightly.

"My daughter put you in this position and you're saying thanks?"

"For letting me stay here, for not judging us, for everything, thank you."

She nods her head once but doesn't break eye contact with me, she takes a deep breath like she's trying to gather her ideas before speaking.

"I was in your place once," she tells me with just a hint of emotion in her voice, "when Kevin and I went to his house his parents kicked him out as well, we didn't have anyone to support us and we were only seventeen."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

My own voice breaks because that could have been easily me and Rachel, or just me seeing as we are not in an actual relationship.

"I'm not. I know what you're going through because I was there and know Quinn that you are not alone, Rachel seems pretty committed to you already," I furrow my brow involuntarily because how could Rachel be committed to something that it's not even there? We are not together.

Shelby chuckles at the look on my face as she gets closer and places a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"She's giving up her video games for you, I call that love."

We both laugh and when Rachel walks inside the kitchen with the saddest expression on her face carrying a box in her arms, she pouts.

"Here it is mom," she reluctantly says while placing the box on the counter, Shelby turns around to inspects the box with a critical eye but doesn't say anything.

"Everything there?" teases Rachel.

"Don't start with me young lady, did you wash up?"

"I'll do that as soon as I get something from my car," Rachel winks at my direction before she walks out of the house, leaving me with the foreign feeling that I belong here and that everything is going to be okay.

"You and I are gonna get along just fine," Shelby says with a smile on her face, "Everything is going to be okay, you'll see."

"I was thinking the same thing," I smile and she squeezes my shoulder before we take the bowls with the food to the table.

I blush at the thought of Rachel's wink directed at me and think that I am going to enjoy very much this pretending to be a couple thing.

"What is that?" Kevin asks as he walks inside and grabs one paper bag from Rachel's arms.

"Just things I thought Quinn may need" she says placing the bags on the counter as my heart melts at the caring nature.

"You didn't have to," I tell her but she smiles at me and shrugs lightly.

"I wanted to" she says with an adorable expression that has my insides melting away.

"What did you get?" Shelby asks effectively breaking our little moment.

"Let's see; ice cream from different flavors, I didn't know which one is your favorite," she explains before going back to the bag, "bacon of course, I've seen this one devour bacon related stuff, something we have in common I must add," she smirks and I just want to jump and hug her, maybe even kiss her, I sure love me some bacon in the mornings.

"Thank you," I tell her and in an impulsive move she leans over and kisses my cheek. I close my eyes at the tingling sensation on my cheek, thinking that I already feel pretty comfortable in her house and I haven't even been here for an hour and it's all because of her and her parents.

"You're welcome," she winks again and my heart jumps excitedly, "like I said, we're in this together."

She whispers the last part and I blush at her closeness but nod my head anyway. I don't know why I've never really noticed how beautiful she really is.

Her phone goes off and she steps back after telling me that she is going to answer the call and when I turn around I find Shelby and Kevin staring at me with open mouths and wide eyes.

"We are _definitely_ going to get along just fine, sweetie," Shelby smiles and Kevin just chuckles.

"I told you there will come the day when someone can tame her" he laughs and I blush at his innuendo. Maybe Rachel only acts this way with me for all I know.

"I'm home!"

The announcement comes followed by the sound of the door shutting close and Puck walks inside the kitchen directly to kiss his mom's cheek.

"Evening folks" he says before his eyes fall on me and his expression hardens. "What you're doing here?" he demands to know, the muscles on his arms clenching.

"Be nice Puck, that's no way to greet Quinn" Shelby slaps his arm but his expression doesn't change as I freeze on the spot because I know exactly what he's going to say.

"Are you kidding me? After what she said this afternoon? _Nice_, is the last thing I want to be to her, mom!"

"Hey! Keep your voice down" Rachel is suddenly standing my side, her hand resting on my lower back and her index finger pointing right at his twin's face.

"What the hell is happening here? How can you be so cool with her after all the crap she accused you of?"

"I'll explain everything to you but right now you just need to know that Quinn is gonna be living with us, ok?"

Puck's shoulders visibly relaxed at hearing Rachel's voice and from where I'm standing I can almost dare to say that they're having a private conversation with their eyes.

"Welcome" he finally says, his posture completely changed, "it's good to have you here, ice queen" he winks and I roll my eyes, he thinks he is cute but he is not even an ounce as cute as Rachel is.

…

Dinner is a new experience, especially because of what a good time I had. Dinners at my house were never fun or even remotely comfortable, dinners at the Fabray' are a daily opportunity for my father to brag about how perfect our family is and how big of a losers is everyone else.

Shelby doesn't let me take care of the kitchen and instead she practically shoves me up the stairs with her daughter. I can cook breakfast tomorrow to make up for tonight.

When Rachel opens her bedroom room for me to get inside my eyes instantly find my two bags on top of her desk. How could my entire life fit in those two gabs?

I swallow the knot in my throat and look around. I've been here twice already but tonight everything looks different, I'm going to be living here.

I feel her hand ghosting its way towards mine and soon enough we're holding hand and she is pulling me inside her bedroom. I smile as she kicks the door closed and we stand in the middle of her bedroom.

"I'll have to start cleaning this place" she nervously laughs and I duck my head.

"Yeah," all I can think about is that we will have to do it, not just her but the thought makes me want to cry, not because I'm here with her but because I no longer have a house.

"I'm sorry about your video games" she shrugs my apology off and lets go of my hand to walk towards her closet.

"I can always go to Puck's room to play, he has the best games anyway, don't worry," she is smiling lightly so I know that it doesn't really bother her.

As she clears out a space inside of her closet I take my bags and put them on top of her bed, I didn't even pack all of my clothes because the big bags are on my parent's room.

I shake the thought out of my head as my heart starts to clench inside of me, I don't understand how could my parents do that to me? Aren't they supposed to love me no matter what? Support me no matter what?

Thirty minutes to be out, he gave me thirty minutes to get out of the house and every single second that passed killed me in a new way, even worse when Rachel helped me take what little we could in the dead line that we had.

I don't realize that I'm crying until tears fall on the shirt that I'm holding in my hands, I try to be quiet but I can't, it hurts too much to think about my parents and I feel like such a disappointment to their eyes.

I try to hold in the sobs that threaten to come out but I can't and my entire body shakes before my knees give in, but I don't hit the ground like I was expecting.

Rachel carries me to the middle of the bed where I clung onto her shirt and she holds me tight as I cry. Her arms run comfortingly on my arms and back as she whispers that everything is okay.

"They just kicked me out."

She swallows hard, audibly so before she kisses my temple in the softest of manners and then I feel the rough material of her jeans rubbing on my bare legs and I'm reminded that I'm still wearing my Cheerios' uniform.

"Don't worry about them anymore, you're here now and I'm never going to leave you alone, Quinn. I promise you that."

I pull back my face from her chest to look at her and I find her eyes watering, she is on the edge of tears herself for me.

"You promise?" I ask for clarification and I can't help to notice the childish tone in my voice.

"I swear to you."

The words are spoken with such conviction that I believe her, I trust her. She smiles lightly before leaning in and kissing the tip of my nose.

"You're cute, Fabray."

I chuckle and feel my face blush before I hide in her chest again, her arms instantly wrapping tightly around me.

After tonight my assumptions are not just that anymore, Rachel _has_ feelings for me but I still don't know how deep they run and I want nothing more than to find out.

…

_Thanks for all the reviews guys; it's really cool to read your opinions and suggestions. _

_To answer a few of your questions, yes I'm re-posting this fic and yes I'm also re-writing it as I go, so the story line will be the same with just a few minor improvements here and there. _

_Thank you for reading and reviewing :)_


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE **

**THESE HORMONES!**

_Her lips nip my neck in a delicious way while her hips push harder and I feel her way deep inside of me. _

_We moan at the same time, I dig my nails on the soft skin of her back where her shoulder blades jump as she takes impulse and pushes again -my nails dig harder-, she pants in my ear as I hug her body with my legs and arch my back on the mattress for her. _

"_I love you."_

_She pants in my ear as I push upwards to meet her almost violent thrusts with my hips and my heart threatens to jump out of my mouth. The pleasure is almost unbearable that I feel on the edge of tears, nothing feels like enough so I hold onto her with my arms and legs as I give myself completely to her. _

"Oh God."

I feel it on the tips of my feet, crawling its way up to my legs and thighs, the sensation is so intense and real that I push back with my hips only to have that amazing feeling intensify.

I open my eyes at the same time that I squeeze the arm wrapped around me and then I realize that I'm not dreaming or at least I'm not dreaming _anymore_ and before panic envelops me I feel the sensation again and an involuntary moan rips through my throat and out of my mouth.

I instantly look over my shoulder and find Rachel sleep but her arm around me still pulls me closer and then I do realize what's happening.

She is pocking me and she is the one giving me all those delicious sensations that have managed to turn me on more than anything else in my life but as she thrusts her hips again I realize that I don't want us to make some teenage hormonal mistake –well another one at least-.

I manage to slip her arm away from me and get out of bed without waking her up, she rolls over on the space I just cleared and hugs the pillow under her head face down as she gets comfortable one more time.

"Quinn."

As soon as I hear her moan my name I'm second guessing my lack of participation on her dream and at the same time it makes my heart jump excitedly inside of my chest.

I stare at her as her hips keep dry humping the mattress but her face stays the vivid image of a very beautiful mess.

She is gorgeous, maybe not the dry humping part but just the thought of waking up with her it's –in a not so common way- perfect.

I'm suddenly hit with the realization that my feelings for Rachel are bigger than I originally thought they were, I mean I am completely smitten with her and her adorableness that is not even a question anymore.

I watch her for a little bit longer and that's why I observe the moment when she starts stirring up and then rolls on the bed and slowly opens her eyes and focuses on me.

She blinks a couple of times as her hands travel south with my eyes following to the very obvious tent on the sheets and her hands' destination and just before she reaches it she jumps out of bed with a look of pure panic on her eyes.

"Oh my God, Quinn. Please tell me that I didn't… it didn't… shit."

She cusses and lowers her head down, and for some strange reason I know exactly what she's asking me.

"This isn't a daily thing, right?" her face turns bright red and the look ads to her adorableness but I restrain myself from smiling, besides she doesn't need to know that I was having my own –very wet- dream about her.

"I'm so sorry" she apologizes while leaving the sheet on the bed and revealing her sleeping pants that leave nothing to the imagination. Last night I didn't get a chance to see her sleeping attire and now that I'm seeing it all I can think of is that she looks like a complete dork with those Kun Fu Panda pants and shirt.

"I can't help it in the morning, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok Rachel, I'm not mad. I was just surprised, I've never waken to someone pocking me from behind before."

And my slight word vomit is what manages to flight my face on fire, since when am I than blunt?

"I'm sorry anyway; I'll try to get a hold of myself or something."

I stare as she picks up her hair in a messy ponytail, my eyes travel down the clenching muscles of her arms and down her defined abs, she is truly beautiful and sexy.

"How did you sleep?" I blink at the sound of her soft tone and clear my throat as I avoid eye contact.

"Better than yesterday" I admit leaving out the part where I've never felt as safe as I slept in her arms or the fact that I love cuddling, especially with her and her very sexy arms.

"I'm glad," she smiles sincerely, her eyes showing me a yet new aspect of her personality, "it's pretty early, I think I'll get some more sleep if that's cool?"

I give her an unsure nod of my head and watch as she picks up the sheet and lays again. No one has ever asked me for permission before, not outside of practice anyway and it's not the bust that comes with power that I love about what just happened, but the consideration, the sentiment behind the statement that she needs me to be okay with whatever it is that she does.

I take a quick shower in her in-suite and then go down to the kitchen in my cheerleading uniform to prepare breakfast.

"It smells heavenly good in here!"

Kevin exclaims as he enters the kitchen followed by a smiling Shelby.

"Told you she'll fit right in." Shelby laughs as I turn off the stove and placed the big plate of bacon on the table.

"Good morning, I hope you don't mind I took the liberty to prepare breakfast but I wanted to thank you for being so accepting and supportive of our situation."

"You have nothing to thank us, sweetheart." Shelby touches my cheek and winks warmly as she passes by me to take a cup of coffee.

"You are family now, kid. This is your house and this is your kitchen, feel free to prepare as much as bacon as you'd like."

With a strange feeling of familiarity we share breakfast and have a nice conversation about Rachel's diapers' days and then with a sudden sadness I realize that Shelby is still pretty shocked about me being with them but by seven and ten minutes –that's when they leave for work- I'm left with renewed hope because she is on our side, she supports us no matter how bad the situation hurts her.

Just before I go upstairs my cellphone rings with an income call from my best friend and I instantly panic. She doesn't know anything and I know she'll resent me in some way for keeping this from her for an entire night but not telling her it's not a choice so I take the call.

"Hi, San."

"_What's wrong?_" sometimes I really hate how well she knows me, once she told me how the tone of my voice was enough to let her know my mood and today is no exception I guess.

"Long story San, I promise to tell you everything at school, ok?"

"_I'll just pick you up and we can talk on the ride."_

"I'm not at my house San, I'm… at Rachel's."

There's a long pause where I start to panic some more before I hear her taking a deep breath.

"_I'll pick you up from there then."_

"Okay."

"See you in ten."

She hangs up the phone and I stand in the hallway in between Puck and Rachel's room just watching at my phone. I'm really out of my house, my parents threw me out and I'm living with Rachel, sharing a room with her and expecting her baby.

This is real, this is my life now.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

I clear the few tears that managed to roll down my face before turning around to face Rachel. Her hair is damp from her shower and she's smiling lightly, patiently waiting for an answer.

"Mmmm, Santana is picking me up in a few. I knew I was supposed to ride with you but she's my best…"

"Hey, hey stop, okay?" she smiles adoringly and comes closer to hold my hands in a hesitant way at first but when I squeeze her hands lightly she does it back, "it's not like we're dating or something like that, besides she _is_ your best friend and you are your own person, don't ever feel like you own me any explanations, okay?"

"Okay."

I don't know if it's the fact that she keeps reminding me that we're not together or the lack of a fight over who I'm riding with, but suddenly I feel really down.

"Don't worry about this, about anything; just tell me when you need a ride or if you want to take my car for that matter, I can always ride with Puck when you feel like you could use some space."

"We're in this together," the words come out of my mouth like word vomit but truth is, I don't want to stay away from her, I want her with me at all times and I doubt that I'll be needing space.

"We are." she squeezes my hands one more time before letting go of one and tucking some hair behind my ear. "I just don't want to suffocate you; you tell me when you want me around and I'll be there, alright?"

"I want you around all the time and if you wait for me to call you, then you're going to be waiting for a long time. You want to be there, then be there."

"Then I'm there. I'll wait for you at school so I can walk you to your classes and then we'll get lunch together and after school I'll wait for you so we can come home together, okay? I'm here."

"Okay."

She holds my hand as we walk to our room and I pick up my bag, only for her to take it from my hand and hang it on her shoulder without letting go of my hand and that's how we make our way down the stairs.

"Breakfast is on the table."

"You didn't have to but thank you."

I join her to eat, well more like to see her devour five slices of bacon and a bowl of fruity loops with milk and even clean her chin when she spills some of it.

I like this feeling I get when I'm with her, the feeling of belonging, of being right.

She smiles shyly before taking her dishes to the sink.

"This is a copy of the house keys," she hands me a keychain of a Teddy Bear and three keys hanging on it, "I picked up the Teddy along with the groceries last night, I figured you may like it." She states nervously as I inspect the adorable keychain.

"I love it," I sincerely tell her and her whole face beams and I'm so tempted to get closer and just kiss her but as usual the moment goes with the sound of the doorbell and she goes to answer the door a little too fast.

"Look who's here?" she exclaims from the door as my best friend rolls her eyes.

"Hi, can I come in?" she asks in a surprisingly soft and regretful voice.

"Of course, come on it" Rachel opens the door wider and San walks directly towards me.

We don't need to say anything, we just hug and she rubs my back up and down as I squeeze her a bit tighter in my arms. She knows what happened; she is smart like that, perspective like that and even if she looks and seems conflicted I know that she's is on my side, she has my back.

When we pull back a little she stays close, her hand holding mine in a supportive manner.

"Rachel, I need to offer you an apo…"

"I'm gonna stop you right there."

Rachel cuts her off before Santana can even finish her line.

"You don't need to apologize for what happened yesterday, I understand you, I would've done the same thing for my best friend if I was in your shoes. All I can think of is that I'm grateful that you are willing to stand up like that for Quinn, so no apologies, alright?"

I watch is silence as they look at each other and have a private un-verbal conversation for the next fifteen seconds before they both turn towards me.

"It settled then."

Santana says as Rachel gets closer and takes my hand as a very loopy Puck walks out of the front door.

"We're going to be late for practice, let's go!" he yells from the porch.

"We're also going to be late and we have lots to talk about, come on," Santana says stepping out of the door and giving us a much needed minute alone together.

"Would you be alright?" Rachel asks me and tucks my hair behind my year again. I'm starting to love that little action more than I should.

"Yes, I'll have Santana with me."

"That's not… would you be okay with everyone else knowing?"

I look down and take a few calming breaths. The entire school population probably already knows that I'm pregnant but they don't know about my parents kicking me out yet and I'm not sure if I want them to know just yet.

"I'm still me, you know? A little confidence would be great right now."

I smile letting her know that I'm half joking and she blushes before holding my other hand as well and starting to swing them between our bodies. She is adorable when she's nervous.

"You have all of my confidence Quinn and you're right. Who in their right minds would want to mess with the Head Cheerleader?"

She laughs as I deeply blush but my laugh dies abruptly when I remember than soon I'm not going to be the Head of anything, I'm just going to be the blonde girl that got pregnant as sixteen, another MTV joke.

"You'll always be the Queen of those hallways, always."

She cups my face with one hand and forces me to look at her eyes, she believes in her words, she trusts that I am something more than I actually am and I don't know how to feel about it.

"And I'm with you, I'm always going to be with you. Whatever you feel, whatever you are, I feel and I am too."

She kisses my forehead and envelops me in a tight hug. I bury my face in her chest and breathe into the scent of her berry shampoo, the same scent that was on the pillows, the scent of _home_.

"Come on beautiful, I'll wait by your locker after every class."

…

"That idiot!"

I jump in my seat as Santana's fist meets the wheel in front of her with force. She is obviously raging after I told her what Finn did and why, and how exactly I ended up with Rachel last night.

"I just cannot believe him! How could he do that you?"

"He was angry, hurt, jealous. He probably thought he was just getting back at me."

"Don't fucking do that, Q. He just messed up with your life in massive proportions; he doesn't deserve any kind of sympathy from you right now, fuck! Especially from you!"

"I know but I know him, he didn't mean to do all of this. He might be slow but he is not evil, he makes bad choices but he never really means to hurt anyone."

"Is that why he went to chat with Russell last night? To not cause any harm?"

"You weren't there, Santana," she looks at me as the car stops in a red light, "he looked conflicted, regretful. He never meant for me to get kicked out, he just wanted to…"

I lose my track because no matter how bad I try to defend him, I can't and Santana will only shred him to pieces but I didn't wrong, I broke his heart not the other way around.

"To fuck up your life?" she offers and starts driving one more time.

"He just wanted to feel less hurt, his plans never work out. He probably feels like crap right now."

"I don't fucking believe you, Quinn. I really don't."

"I broke his heart."

"And he leaves you homeless in revenge?"

"He is not the one to blame here! I am the one who's pregnant and we both knew this was going to happen, it just happened a lot sooner than we thought."

"Why didn't you call me?" she asks me and I answer her with the truth.

"Rachel was the first one that popped inside my head."

"I thought I was your first option."

The hurt in her tone breaks my heart but I get closer and place my hand on her shoulder.

"You are," I tell her from the bottom of my heart, "you'll always be, and you're my best friend. You know me better than I know myself and I will always need you by my side but this time… this time I'm sure that I made the right call."

She just nods her head but doesn't say anything for a little while and it unsettles me, she can't be mad with me, not over this and dear God in mighty heaven I want to cry.

"San please, don't be mad with me."

I practically whine and she looks at me quickly and even reaches out a hand for me to hold, which I immediately do.

"I'm not mad, I'm just thinking. That's all."

"You haven't said anything in like… forever. You're not even looking at me!"

"Damn! How are those pregnant hormones getting to you, huh?"

She laughs and I laugh along with her, thankfully I'm not losing my mind yet thanks to those hormones and I honestly don't want to think about when I do lose it.

"I understand Q, I really do and I think you're right, it's just that…"

"What?"

"You're right you made the right call, I was just thinking about how we keep growing up, I wish we could go back in time, you know? Be those silly little girls that played in in the swings until our parents had to drag us home."

I almost get teary at the memories, my hands instinctively rest on my belly and I smile instead.

"Tell me about it."

She shakes her head, her eyes momentarily following the movement of my hand and keeps driving.

"Exactly."

We don't talk for the next five minutes and by the time she is parking the car on the school's parking lot I've regained my breathing control.

I don't want to think of Finn as evil, I know that he didn't mean for this. He probably didn't even think of the consequences before he acted, he never does and apparently never will.

"You can't go soft on me, Quinn. Not now, not when you need to be stronger than you've ever been."

Her words catch me by surprise and I stare at her with curiosity, she is not finished.

"He didn't just mess with you, he messed with your kid's life, he didn't just leave you homeless, he left the both of you homeless and he didn't even know if Rachel was going to be there to catch you or me for that matter. So don't tell me that he is slow or some crap like that because I have him in my calculus class and that excuse can only work a handful of times."

I play her words on my head again and again and after a moment I look away in shame. She is right, she always is but I can't find it in me to be angry with him.

"Did you tell Rachel?"

"No."

She starts laughing softly at first but her laughter grows in volume as the seconds pass, the longer it goes the more I'm tempted to laugh with her even when I have no idea why she's laughing in the first place but I maintain control until she takes a deep breath and reached back to grab our bags.

"Want to tell me what was so funny?"

"Just thinking about all the possible things that the Puckerman' could do with that little piece of information."

She gets out of the car and leaves me alone to think about the danger Finn is actually in. Rachel and Puck are known for the jokes but when it comes to family they are taken very seriously, nobody messes with their family and _I am_ their family now.

…

_Well this is probably the hardest AN I've ever done because I want to address what happened this last week. I want to say that I'm sorry and extend condolences to everybody but at the same time I want to say that he will always live in our memories, in our hearts, in the fandom; so I'm just going to say both. _

_I didn't know Cory and it's hard for me to believe what happened so I can't even imagine what's it like for the people that did know him but the good memories, the goofy and sometimes silly moments, that's what's left and that's how I'll remember him; the man, that smiley soul, the actor, the singer and drummer, that's whom I'll remember. _

_Thank you for reading guys. _


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN **

**A BIT TOO MUCH**

After six days of living with the Puckermans and only a few incidents with some really resentful girls that are not over Rachel I'm finally feeling like me again.

It's been weird to find myself just after I lost everything that I've known for my entire life but I guess it's the fact that Rachel is not constantly telling me what to do and what's right, and what's not that has everything to do with it.

Rachel's been great; she is attentive, sweet, careful and so incredibly caring that it's almost unbelievable to see this part of her personality. She truly is amazing and it saddens me that I never saw it before these last few weeks.

The nights are definitely more comfortable and I love to wake up in her arms, if only to feel her pressed against me. There haven't been any more incidents after that first morning that I woke up from a very vivid and pornographic dream myself but that's okay as well.

Of course that the urge to kiss her after she does something perfect is bigger and stronger everyday but I've managed not to throw myself at her for the last six days and hopefully I'll have the strength to keep holding it together.

This morning I make pancakes with smiley faces on them and fry bacon before I run up the stairs to dry my hair but when I get inside the room I find Rachel standing in front of the vanity while she combs her hair.

"I thought you were sleeping." She smiles through the mirror before turning around.

"The bed was all empty and cold after you left that I couldn't stay there any longer."

I blush as I take her place in front of the vanity, my heart jumping inside of my chest all the way there.

"I made pancakes for breakfast; you better go down and eat some before Puck eats everything like yesterday morning."

I almost hit him with the bowl empty of sandwiches when I went down to have one and Rachel and I had to go to school with an empty stomach before she refused to eat her fruity loops if I didn't eat them as well and I wasn't in the mood for sweets yesterday, in fact I haven't been in the mood for candies the entire week.

"I'll shave his mohawk in his sleep if he does that again, I swear."

"I'll like to see that happening."

We laugh and she does the bed as I dry my hair and comb it before I pull it up in a tight ponytail.

"I don't know why you have to use your hair like that every day," she shrugs and takes a seat on the mattress, "you look beautiful with your hair down."

I feel my face light up on fire and a little giggle escaping my lips before she reaches out and takes my hand to pull me to seat beside her.

"I want to talk to you," she softly says and it's like she fears my answer so I just give her a nod fearing for what she's going to say myself.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about you and me, and our baby and after what happened yesterday with Camilla I really need you to know a few things."

I look away from her and try to take my hands away from hers but she doesn't let me. Camilla is a senior and one of the most popular girls of our school and she is incredibly in love with Rachel, and yesterday she just corner me with a few of her friend when I was by my locker and gave me a summary of hers and Rachel's relationship before I got on the picture and made it perfectly clear of how resentful she is of this new develop relationship of ours.

"She was completely out of place and I swear if she wasn't a girl I would have punched her when I found out what she did."

I don't say anything because as much as I hate to admit it Camilla did open my eyes to see a bigger picture. She was just one of many girls that keep sending me dead glares on the hallways and Rachel has a past with all of them, they were there before me and it made me doubt everything because we are not in a relationship, we are not together like that and it's only a matter of time before Rachel goes back to one of them.

"I know that I've said this before but I want you to know that I am a hundred per cent in this with you, okay?"

I look at her and it doesn't matter how much I look for it, I don't find any hesitation in her eyes, she continues.

"I know you think that I'm a… _player_," she rolls her eyes at her own use of words and caresses the back of my hands with her thumbs, "and I know that I act like one but I'm in this with you and I've decided that… I'm not going to go after some girl while you're living with me."

I'm about to protest against that but she raises her finger when I open my mouth and cuts me off.

"I understood you the first time when you said that you don't want to be with me like that and I respect it, I really do. I'm not going to ask you for anything but you are the mother of my kid and I will be damned if I don't respect you because you deserve it, you deserve everything Quinn and I want to give it to you."

In love? Yeah, I'm totally in love with her.

"Okay."

I nod my head and she smiles shyly, probably noticing how my eyes can't look away from her very tempting lips, I really want to kiss her right now. She smiles wider and I look up shaking my head.

"I mean we're not together so you don't really need to do that, you know? You don't have to put your life on hold because of me." Or stop fucking sluts for that matter.

Why can't I just tell her that I want her? That I love her? I'm so scared of what this means and I hate it, I don't want to feel vulnerable, especially not when I'm living with her and have her arms around me every night.

"I want to do this; I'm not going to disrespect you like that. Not that I'm asking you for anything, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to-you know- get with you like that or something."

"Would it be that bad if you touch me again Rachel!"

She flinches at the harsh sound of my voice and I would have too if I wasn't feeling so damn angry right now but why is she so eager to clear the fact that she doesn't want sex with me like that?

"No, no, no, no." She holds her hands up and I roll my eyes as I try to control my raging baby hormones. But I'm frustrated that she can't say it aloud, I know she likes me as much as I do so why is this so difficult? I know that I pushed her away but I've been in her bed for six nights already, isn't that prove enough that I want her close, that I want her with me?

"You never told me how your parents found out."

I feel my entire body tense up at the question and my hands instantly fall on my belly, Santana's words are still very much present in my mind and even if I haven't seen Finn in the entire week because he is avoiding me I know that he feels bad, he must to.

"It just happened." With the sound of my voice I don't believe myself talking so I'm not surprised to see Rachel's brow furrow in confusion.

"Your parents didn't just kick you out, how did they find out? Did you tell them?"

"No, it wasn't like that. They just found out."

"But someone must have told them, right?"

She is pushing a little bit but I don't think she realizes that, she just wants to know the truth, nothing more.

I could lie, I could tell her that my father found out on his way home, that someone at work told him but I don't want to.

"Finn."

The silence that follows should have been proving enough that I made a mistake. "Rachel?" She blinks and focuses on me again, she is not angry although it seems like her brain is going a hundred miles per hour.

"What happened?" her tone is soft, controlled but for a moment I still think about not telling her, "it's okay, Quinn. We can talk about this."

"When I got home that day he was there, he was waiting in the living room for me with my parents." I look at my hands on my lap, fighting against the tears that threatened to fall down. I really don't know what he was thinking.

"He told them," it's not a question but I'm nodding anyway, her face is completely blank as she grabs my hand and takes it to her lips to kiss it. "You're here now and everything is fine, okay? He can't hurt you anymore, none of them can."

This is that protective side I've heard about and as much as flattered as I feel, I also feel scared for what will happen next.

"Rachel, don't do anything stupid okay? He is not worth it."

"But he hurt you; look what he did, what he provoked."

"But I'm okay now, you said so yourself. There's no need to look for trouble."

"I won't do anything."

"Promise me you won't punch him?"

"I promise."

As I grab my books and bag she types away on her phone but I let it be, she promised she wouldn't do anything so she won't.

We eat breakfast with Shelby and Kevin this morning and as usual Puck comes running down the stairs late and grabs the last two pancakes on the table before kissing his mom on the cheek good morning.

When the doorbell rings and Puck looks at Rachel eagerly I know that something is going on and especially even more when Dave, Mike, Azimio and Matt walk inside the house and sit around the breakfast table like they live here.

Shelby and Kevin greet them like this is a common happening and I take advantage of the moment to pull Rachel to the living room and out of ear dropping ears.

"You were texting them this morning." It's not a question but I still want her to confirm it.

"Yeah, I was."

"Rachel, you promised you wouldn't do anything stupid."

"I'll keep my promise. They are driving with Puck," just as she says this we hear the boys saying their goodbyes and the front door closing. "I promised I wouldn't punch him, didn't I?" she grins and I nod my head, a little doubtful but still.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"I think so, or I might just leave him a message."

I feel uneasy and very much so but I don't push for answers, she'll be driving with me anyway and she is always by my side between periods so it's not like she'll do anything in two minutes.

"Thank you" I tell her and gets closer to me, and tucks some imaginary hair behind my ear.

"For what?" she grins.

"For staying, for being like this, for everything."

She cups my face and grips my waist with her free hand, God! I really want to kiss her right now and I could if I just lean over and tip a little bit but the look on her face throws me off, she looks so happy that I feel like my own heart can feel what she's feeling right now.

"I would be a fool if I didn't," she pulls me closer, our bodies flushing against each other, my hands resting on her shoulders, "you are so beautiful Quinn and you have no idea of all the things I'd do for you, all the things I'd give up for you and it wouldn't even be an option because I know it'll be worth it because you're having my baby."

She smiles with watery eyes that break my heart in two because of the adorableness as her eyes look down at my belly.

"You're giving me everything I could ever ask for, my own family and I could never ask you for anything else." I cup her face with my hands and watch as she leans on my touch and closes her eyes, sucking in all the closeness, I caress her cheeks with my thumbs and she smiles softly at the contact.

"Would you still think of me as beautiful when I gain a hundred pounds and look like a whale?"

She laughs at the randomness of my question but I need to know, I want to hear her say what I need to hear right now.

"You won't."

"How do you know and why are you laughing?" she holds my hands in her cheeks when I try to move them away and looks right into my eyes.

"I'm not laughing" she says trying to hold back a laugh, I try to move away from her again but she wraps her arms around my waist and laughs even harder, making me laugh along with her in the process.

"I'm not laughing," she repeats out of breath and then she shrugs her shoulders and smiles sincerely, "I'm not saying that you won't gain weight 'cause we both know that _that is_ going to happen."

She nods her head to make her point across and even pauses as my head runs over everything that I'd need, forget about clothes, nothing will fit me when I explode, let alone my cheerleading uniform.

"You _will_ gain weight."

"Thanks." I sarcastically reply and she laughs.

"You didn't let me finish there," she takes a deep breath and holds a little tighter with her arms around my waist, "you have an amazing body and you'll gain weight because you're taking care of a new life that's growing inside of you and I know that you want him or her to be healthy, right?"

"Of course I do" I roll my eyes at the question and she smiles lightly.

"Then you will eat in a healthy way and let me tell you something," she whispers getting closer to me with a playful expression on her face, I shiver at her proximity but she doesn't notice, "I bet you're going to be one hot momma." She smirks while I blush before hiding my face in her chest, she hugs me immediately and I rest my head on her shoulder. I love her arms around me, I love being like this.

"Thank you," and when I look up I'm determined to steal that kiss from her very tempting lips.

"We're leaving sweetie!" Shelby's voice makes me jump back from her and Rachel rolls her eyes.

"Okay, ma."

"Have a nice day Shelby."

When the front door shuts close I'm still looking at the floor trying to calm the wild beating of my heart and my flaming cheeks. I could almost felt her lips pressed against mine and I'm pretty sure that the sensation won't leave me for the rest of the day.

"Come on, we should get going too."

…

"No way!"

"Why is it so hard to believe?"

"Because you're Rachel!"

"I'm going to try to not take offense by that."

"I just can't believe it."

"Well maybe you should come with me to the next lesson then."

"I think I just might."

She smiles and I blush under her gaze, it's becoming physically impossible to not be affected by her presence anymore and who wouldn't feel all mushy inside when you hear that the one fathering your child gives guitar lesson to six year olds on her free time?

"Kim is really good, you'll like her."

"How long have you been teaching her?"

"Just a couple of months but she's a natural I swear, the first time I heard her playing and singing that Jonas Brothers' song I think I tear up a little bit. I was so proud."

_I love you. _God! I love you so much and I can't wait to hear you say the same things about our daughter or son, I just can't wait.

"What Jonas Brothers' song?"

"That one with… I don't know the name but I think I remember the lyrics a bit, wanna hear it?" her eyes are hopeful and playful and I nod my head in extreme enthusiasm, much for her amusement and my own personal embarrassment.

_Called her for the first time yesterday,_

_I finally found the missing part of me._

_I felt so close but you were far away,_

_left me without anything to say._

_Now I'm speechless, over the edge, _

_I'm just breathless, I never thought _

_that I'd catch this love bug…_

"Love bug! That's the name."

She laughs as I take a deep breath and refuse to look away from her smiling and happy face. I've never seen her like this, just so free and singing and oh God! Her voice must be the most beautiful sound ever invented.

"Have you heard it?" she asks me, that beautiful smile still in place and my heart turns into a mushy ball of cheesiness.

"Keep going." I ask her and she scrunches up her nose in an adorable way before the light turns green and she starts driving again on our way to school.

"Only if you join me."

"I will, in the chorus." Anything for you, just keep singing please. I want to keep hearing to your glorious voice.

_I can't get your smile out of my mind,_

_I think about your eyes all the time._

_Beautiful but you don't even try,_

_Modesty is just so hard to find._

She stops and looks at me expectantly, her eyes shining with playfulness and something else that I can't quit understand. I give her a nod and then I join her in the chorus.

_Now I'm speechless, over the edge, _

_I'm just breathless, I never thought _

_that I'd catch this love bug again._

_Hopeless, head over hills in the moment_

_I never thought that I'd get hit by this_

_love bug again._

We stop at another red light and her hand finds mine on the console as she starts singing the next few lines all by herself.

_I kissed her for the first time a few weeks ago,_

_everything I wished that It would be_

_suddenly I forgot how to speak _

_I am hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?_

She kisses the back of my hand before putting it back down and reassume driving, leaving me a confused and expectant mess. If that wasn't a declaration of some kind then I don't know what it is.

She smiles but that playful stare is no longer there so this time I am the one that takes her hand and plant a soft kiss on the palm right before interlacing our fingers together and we both sing the last chorus as she parks on the school parking lot.

_Now I'm speechless, over the edge, _

_I'm just breathless, I never thought _

_that I'd catch this love bug again._

_Hopeless, head over hills in the moment_

_I never thought that I'd get hit by this_

_love bug again._

By the time we finish we're both laughing and a few curious people are glancing our way but I couldn't care less because Rachel and I just moved forward, it was only a barely there step but we did, we took it.

But as soon as we get inside the school we are met with chaos. There is a crowd that prevents me from seeing what's going on in the hallway and everyone is laughing so loud.

"What's going on?" I ask but Rachel's hand is calm and relaxed as she holds mine.

"Maybe some jackass getting what he deserves or something."

And the tone of her voice is what throws me off, plus the non-subtle shrug of her shoulders as well. I'd bet my Cheerios' uniforms that she knows exactly what's going on and that is the highest of bets I could be involved into.

"What did you do?" I force her to turn around and look at me but the smirk on her face is permanent.

"Nothing, I just drove us to school, remember? I've been by your side since this morning."

"Quinn! Q! Amiga! You gots to see this!"

My best friend practically bounces her away to us, her face the vivid image of smugness, her smile as wide as Rachel's now.

"What is going on?"

And then I hear it, soft whimpering, cries of embarrassment and they are Finn's.

"You're not gonna get away with this!" he yells and his voice is so loud that it makes me jump backwards instead of moving forwards and Rachel notices, her brow furrows in confusion immediately at my sudden reaction.

"Clear up losers!" Santana orders and the crows in front of us open a path for us to walk through.

Rachel bursts into laughter as does Santana as soon as we get a full view of the hallway as my face burns in flames at the sight.

Finn is wearing a Cheerios' skirt as he jumps to try to pull down his clothes that are hanging from the ceiling but the skirt doesn't cover much, well actually it doesn't cover anything and he is jumping like an enraged five year old trying to reach his letterman jacket and pants from the ceiling.

"Oh my God."

I gasp feeling slightly guilty that I'm doing nothing to help him as everyone else just keeps laughing and then I realize that Rachel is no longer by my side and Puck walks closer to Finn with his bag in hands.

"Oh thanks man, I couldn't find it in the lockers earlier."

Finn thanks him looking relieved beyond compare but the evil smirk on Puck's face should have been warning enough that nothing is alright.

When Finn pulls out a shirt from his bag, the shirt is soaking wet in different colors and I realize that they are slushies, they have filled his bag with slushy and now Finn is crying again while everyone else gasp in surprise.

Puck and Finn had always been good friends but not anymore, apparently.

"You don't know what you got yourself into, man."

Puck's threat is loud enough for us to hear and then Rachel walks towards them and grabs Finn's arm to pull him down and whisper something into his ear.

"What is going on in here?!" Miss Sylvester' voice is loud and it's exactly what the crowd needs to run in different directions.

"I should have known that you Puckermans were behind any disturbance!"

Before I can even think about anything I'm right by Rachel's side and holding her hand as Coach approaches them.

"I was just bringing my boy his bag." Puck says, his voice looking as innocent as a little kid's and it takes us all by surprise how endearing he makes himself look.

"You!" Coach turns to Rachel and points her index finger at her face while Finn rubs his eyes furiously with the back of his hands.

"She had nothing to do with it, Coach. She drove me to school and we just got here."

Coach stares at me with a searching soul glare but I maintain it and when she turns to look at Rachel she nods her head furiously and as endearingly as Puck or maybe even more, okay definitely more.

"I will find out who was responsible for Hudson's nudity in the hallways and expose us all to such an outrageous view!"

Santana chuckles lightly before the Coach takes Finn down the hallway, probably to look some clothes for the poor boy.

Santana and Puck disappear down the hallway as well mumbling something about being late, they practically run.

"No one can mess with my family like that, no one." Rachel says before I can say anything.

"You'll get in a lot of trouble for this," I try to sound reprimanding but truth is that I loved her standing up from me and to be honest, she kept her promise.

"Our family comes first and it will always be my first priority."

_Our family_. Could I fall more deeply in love with her?

"Don't you think it was a bit much?"

"I think he was lucky. I wanted to wreck his car and kick his ass, probably give him a permanent tattoo in his forehead to teach him a lesson but Puck and the guys just wanted to see his naked ass and I promised you that I wouldn't touch him, right?"

I don't know if I should be scared of slightly amused by the thoughts running through her head. I choose to be amused and laugh at her ideas instead, it's not like I'm going to let her get in anymore trouble from here on.

"It was a bit much."

"You liked it."

"I did not!"

"You were soooo enjoying it."

"I wasn't!"

"Then you should be giving me the eyebrow right now."

"The eyebrow?"

"The infamous Fabray eyebrow, you only do that when you're upset or you're about to give hell and I'm not getting it, so you enjoyed it, my lady."

"Ass."

I roll my eyes and start walking. I can't let her know that I actually enjoyed her little act of rebellion and especially when she did it to protect me but she catches up with me in no time, she takes my books from my hands and smiles fondly.

"But I'm a cute ass." She shrugs and I laugh at her bluntness.

"It was a bit much." I tell her again and this time she takes a deep breath and nods, once.

"It was but he deserved it and you know it."

"You're going to get expelled when Figgins finds out."

"No, I'm not."

"He's going to tell who did this to him and his mom is going to be very angry, he's her baby."

"He's not going to tell anything, even he is not that dumb, don't worry about it."

"What did you tell him?" She stops walking and looks at me with a serious expression on her face before she caresses my face with her fingers.

"I told him that if he ever messes up with my family again, he would wish to be naked on the school's hallway."

When she cups my face I'm sure she's about to kiss me and there is nothing I want more than that kiss right now. She leans in and I lose my breath but her lips press against my forehead and a smirk takes over her features when she pulls back and I open my eyes.

"Ass." She laughs and I hate that I love this bad side of hers so much.

"Ass." She says again right in my face with a playful tone and handing me my books but I can play as well.

"I'm a beautiful one I've heard."

"You're the best I've seen, babe."

She kisses my cheek and walks down the hallway before I have the chance to say anything back or see the reaction that her little games have on me but damn if I hate these hormones that make me want to run behind her and lock her in the janitor's closet with me!

Class Fabray, you have English class, focus.

…

_Thank you for all your reviews and I'm not trying to make Finn a hero here but I __am__ trying to be considered and I don't think that there's anything wrong with that, that being said thank you for reading and reviewing and yeah, keep doing it :)._


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**CLAIMING YOU**

If you had asked me to describe myself a couple of days ago the word jealous would have been the last thing to pop in my head; but that was a few days ago because now as Rachel takes the books from my hands and walks by my side all I feel is the green monster taking over me with every look that the girls in the hallway keep sending in her direction.

"Someone looks bored," she comments right before her fingers brush against mine, "or probably pissed off. Is something wrong?"

I shake my head as I glare at yet another girl in the hallway and instinctively hold Rachel's hand and interlock our fingers together. I feel her tense up at first but when I look to the side to see her face she's smiling and even squeezes my hand for reassurance.

"I'm okay." I tell her and after studying me for a second she nods her head accepting that answer.

I can't remember anyone carrying my books before or holding my hand like this and a part of me is grateful for that because I don't have any memories to compare Rachel with, everything about her is new, every single experience is much bigger and I love it.

"Hi, Rachel." A girl walks by us waving her fingers at Rachel's direction and swaying her hips with extra slutty moves.

"'sup?" Rachel barely acknowledges her but I still feel the blood inside of me boiling with rage. I hate that girl and I don't care if I don't know who she is.

"You may want to check your messages." Nicole strides by and her dirty index finger caresses Rachel's shoulder as she winks at her.

"Do they have to do that?" I snap harshly once Nicole is out of our sight but Rachel squeezes my hand softly and smiles innocently at me.

"People always tend to want what they can't have."

And is lines like that one that led me to believe that I don't have to be jealous, that they have nothing on the amazing girl that's holding my hand as we walk down the hallway and talk about our days, that they already lost a nonexistent competition of sorts, she's choosing me without asking anything in return, without making me feel like I own her something, without even asking me.

I'm glad that I followed my instincts and didn't lie to Finn when I was scared to death, I'm glad to be facing the consequences of my actions with the girl that wants to be my rock and support me through it all.

It's been only a few days but that's all I need to know how easy it is to laugh, to be myself, to have an opinion with someone that actually appreciates me, with someone that doesn't judge my most minimal slips and even more the bigger ones.

It's been only a few days but these days are enough to realize that Rachel and I work together, even if we never get together, we still work and we can do this, we can be good parents for the sake of our child.

"Eight o'clock. My house. You can bring Fabray with you" Damon extends the invitation as he walks by us with his arm thrown around some girl's shoulders and his fist connecting with Rachel's shoulder.

"I'll let you know" Rachel says as his eyes connect in our interlock hands and he shakes his head after he makes a whip sound and laughs.

"I didn't know Damon's parents allowed him to have parties."

Rumor has it that Damon's family is very religious, his father and mine run in the same church circle but I've never actually seen Damon in church and he's a senior and for what I've heard the pride and joy of his mother.

"His dad is opposed to it but his mom is really cool and she always gives us sandwiches when we're playing video games in her living."

"You hang with Damon and his friends?"

"Don't sound so surprised there"

"They're seniors" I state and Rachel smiles adoringly at me, like somehow what I'm saying it's cute or endearing.

"They know how to get beer, and they are good folks but don't tell them I told you that."

As we walk inside the cafeteria I can't stop thinking about the image that I gave Rachel in my head and who she really is. For years I thought that she was getting high in some dead beat place with drug addict friends and what not, but there she had been hanging with the President of the Student Counselor and not doing drugs at all.

I feel like an idiot for having judged her before I even gave myself a chance to get to know her, before I _gave_ her a chance to show me.

When her hand goes still against my own I dare to look around and wish that I hadn't. Girl after girl is looking at me with murderous stares and pursed lips; is as if they truly believe that I'm stealing something of theirs, like I'm a thief that swiped in and took what belonged to them and as one of them performs a perfect storm out right in front of us I realize that Rachel doesn't even care, Rachel doesn't care about the stares, she doesn't care about the looks, she cares that they're directed at me and that gives me reassurance.

They won't intimidate me, they have nothing on me and I have nothing to fear from them, nothing at all.

"I texted you last night" Claire says coming to stand in front of Rachel and blocking our way to our table. She's a Cheerio, a bottom and she'll sure regret to ever look at Rachel's direction after today. If she thought that being on the Cheerios is hard, she wouldn't know what hit her after this afternoon's practice.

For a moment Rachel looks taken aback, like she doesn't know how to answer or if answering is even an option so I take her silence as a way in.

"She was busy."

My voice is cold and my posture screams danger, I'm sure of it but this girl doesn't even take a second to look at me, her eyes stay locked on Rachel's face.

"I was with Quinn and I wouldn't have known it was you anyway, I don't have room in my phone for your number." And before Claire has the chance to say anything Rachel is pulling me towards our table.

That was the stupidest excuse I have ever heard and yet completely deserving of that little skank. How dare she? Coming to my girl demanding explanations like that?

Rachel wraps her arm around my waist as she guides me to our table and even kisses my cheek like sending a silent statement to curious eyes that are focused on us as we walk by.

We get to the table where Santana and Brittany are watching expectantly, like they're waiting to see my reaction or a bomb explode by the look on their faces but I only whisper a soft 'hi' and sit down.

That was only one of the cheerios and Rachel's been around with almost the entire squad and I know that she said that she's not seeing those girls anymore but that won't stop them from trying or do what two of them just did in the hallways.

"Quinn? Hey," her voice is soft as she calls my name, a little guarded, "I know what you're thinking and please just stop, they aren't worth your time and they most definitely aren't worth mine."

I look into her eyes and before she can even show me her perfect smile I grab a hold on the back of her neck and pull her closer to me crashing our lips together in an almost painful kiss.

For a moment I lose my breath and when I pull back to look at her I'm gasping for air. I know it was only a chaste kiss but I hope it had the same effect on her than it did on me because her lips are the softest and most delicious, and welcoming lips that I've ever tasted and they fit on mine like they were meant to be kissed by me and only me.

My hand on her neck and the other coping her cheek, I wait for her to open her eyes and when does, she doesn't disappoint with the look of pure owe in those endless pools of chocolate of hers.

"Did that just really happen?" she whispers and my smile grows even wider and I nod my head because I'm at loss of words and I know that my smile resembles one of a love fool but I couldn't care less because that's exactly how I feel.

With the widest smile on both of our lips we lean in closer, her hand coming to rest on my bare thigh that sends involuntarily shivers all over my body, she gives me the chance to pull back, to stop this if I want it to but I've never wanted to not stop anything so badly in my entire life.

"Kiss me" I whisper and her lips brush mine, her smile pretty much in place and my breath anywhere to be found.

I've fallen for her and I don't know the exact moment of when it happened, all I know is that I did, I love her now and there is no going back, no denying it anymore.

I open my eyes to find her staring at me, as close as she can be, so close that I feel her breath on my skin. I smile and she does the same, and somehow I don't need her to say anything because for the first time I can see everything in her eyes and I see love, trust and happiness that somehow I've managed to put there.

Her lips find mine for the third time and it's not just a peck or a brush of our lips anymore; this time our lips start moving atop of each other and soon enough we're performing a dance that somehow feels like we've practiced a dozen of times before; the warm, the texture of her lips, the delicious taste of her mouth is slowly driving me insane and I know that if I ever get addicted to anything in my life, it would be her kisses.

Next, her tongue slips through mine and the moan that erupts from her throat is enough to make me tingle all over. If I were standing I know that my foot would be popping and it would be my dreamed first kiss, my _first real_ kiss.

Her hand squeezes my thigh, only barely, but I know that we should stop because we're in the cafeteria and my friends are sitting in front of us but I can't bring myself to pull back from her or her amazing kisses.

When we finally do stop and rest our foreheads together to catch our agitated breaths, her arms are around my waist and mine around her neck and with a sudden feeling of nostalgia I realize that I've never felt as happy as I do right in this moment as I'm surrounded and safe in her strong arms.

"That was so hot."

I hear Brittany's distant voice say and I chuckle as Rachel starts laughing which makes me open my eyes to find her beautiful eyes right in front of me, showing me nothing but pure and utter affection.

I retrieve my arms from her neck and place my right hand on her collarbone and the other above hers in my tight, she stops laughing and gives me the most sincere childish smile I've ever seen that somehow I fall in love with instantly.

"I just kissed Quinn Fabray" she says with a playful voice and I roll my eyes before she kisses my cheek.

"Baby, you knocked up Quinn Fabray" her smile grows even wider and her eyes sparkle and suddenly I realize what I just did.

_Baby_, that came out easy; I look at my lap when I feel my cheeks burning, I'm blushing furiously but she kisses my cheeks over and over again as her laugh fills my ears and her arms wrap tighter around me.

"Well _baby_, that was one hell of a kiss."

When I look back up I find her smiling sincerely and as she pulls me closer I know that she doesn't want a kiss or any form of loving that's not hugging, so I hug her with my arms around her neck and let her bury her face on my neck as I caress her back and head and somehow the closeness that I always hated in the past, I find myself loving all of the sudden.

Her hair smells like home and without even thinking of what I'm doing I kiss her neck and feel her shiver under my touch, and knowing that I have the same effect that she has on me puts me at ease.

"As much as I would love to keep watching this _Quinchel_ show you guys are putting right now, you seriously need to stop 'cause I'm about to gag all over my very questionable carrots over here."

I can always count on my best friend to put an end to important and somehow incredible moments in my life so I don't even get upset as I untangle my arms from Rachel and her hand goes back to rest on my thigh under the table.

Regardless of the interruption I smile at Santana and she winks at me, silently telling me that she supports me and whatever decision I make towards my relationship with Rachel.

"Shit." I barely hear Rachel curse under her breath and as I look around the meaning of 'if looks could kill' becomes as clear as water for me.

I glare back with the same amount of intensity before they can even think what hit them. Knocked up or not, I'm still the Head Cheerleader and if they know what's best for them, they better look away right about fucking now!

I hear Santana chuckle as soon as those girls start to turn around and pretending they weren't looking at my direction.

Why are they even trying to glare at me at this point, hasn't Rachel been perfectly clear all day long? And what about our amazing make out session just a couple of seconds ago?

And then it hits me.

We are not official, we are not a thing, there is just no 'we' and I'm having her baby and we haven't even dated.

Why hasn't she asked me out yet? Does she even want to date me?

"Rachel!" I call her through greeted teeth and she turns around so quickly that I wouldn't be surprised if she gets whiplash out of it and my anger just rises up when she chooses to chew her burger and swallows slowly before completely focus on me.

"What?"

"I want to talk."

I state while crossing my arms over my chest and with an extra amount of anger I realize that I don't know what to say to her and I just keep getting angry and frustrated. I am frustrated with her!

"I know you want to talk what just happened," she says in a soft and understanding tone that I instantly hate because I am not a child and I don't need her hand squeezing my thigh lightly right now. "We'll talk when we get home, I promise."

"I want to talk now" she takes a deep breath and puts her burger down before facing me fully.

"Fine, let's talk" and just the way the words come out of her mouth, like she's bored of me, or annoyed or both things together breaks my heart and before I can even register it I feel the sting of tears behind pool in my eyes. She hates me.

"Look what you did!" Santana snaps while I push Rachel's hands away from me and cover my face.

"Don't be sad Quinn, please don't cry" I hear Brittany beg but her words only make me sob harder.

"Baby, come on," Rachel begs as well as she tries to wrap her arms around me but I push her arms away, "baby, I do want to talk about what happened but I feel like this is not the place, we could use some privacy, y'know? God knows that we have so much to discuss and that kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me but please."

"I annoy you" I sob the words out through hiccups and she chuckles lightly as her fingers caress my cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"Fuck, you are so adorable" she laughs and her sneaky arms wrap around my waist without my permission.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm smiling, not laughing and I'm smiling because you are the most adorable human being I've ever seen and I think that you're cute and you would never in a million years could annoy me because I like you Quinn, more than I would ever get the chance to show you."

She kisses a tear away from my cheek and suddenly I feel my heart skip a beat and the sadness fly away from my system, and I truly believe that I'm going insane.

"I like you too" I smile and her eyes widen but then her lips break into a beautiful smile that make _me_ smile.

"Let me just…" she takes out some tissues from her back pocket and starts cleaning up my face. I let her and watch how concentrated she is in what she's doing.

"There" she says with a final touch to my nose "breathtaking as always" she says.

Lunch improves from there, I have butterflies flying all around my tummy now with the realization that I keep falling for her, not her looks, not her reputation, I've fallen for her, the real her.

The thoughtful and yet funny girl, the sweet and flirty little brat, the brave and considerate heart, the centered and protective personality, I love Rachel and if putting up with me through crazy mood swings doesn't make her love me, then I don't know what does.

…

To say that I had fun during practice will be an understatement. San, Brit and I had a blast, we really made those girls pay and we definitely showed them their places in this school.

Just because they kept Rachel's bed warm for a single night doesn't mean that she has feelings for them and it definitely doesn't mean that they can glare at me because I'm having her baby.

I quickly say goodbye to my two best friends when I see Rachel waiting for me in the parking lot and something completely new unravels within me just at the mere sight of her.

She's leaning against her car, elbows on the hood, long hair falling in waives around her bare shoulders, loose black jeans and a dark green top, black converse to go with it. The muscles in her arms clench as she stretches out farther and the way her lips are curling into a sweet smile when she sees me make me want to run to her and that's exactly what I do.

Dropping my bag I step up and without giving her a single warning I crash my lips against her perfect ones, my chest fluttering as I taste the chocolate flavor on her lips. It's hard to breathe but I don't pull away and her arms only pull me closer, her hands squeezing my hips making the bulged between her legs pressing some delicious friction just where I need it the most.

I moan in her mouth and she bites my lower lip as we both pull back looking for oxygen. Her eyes are a shade darker and I know that mine must be the same and we push the need of air aside as we both lean in and reunite our lips again and into another passionate kiss.

All I can feel running through my veins is wild desire that I've never felt before and it's like I need to feel her everywhere, I want those hands touching every inch of my body, I want her to make me scream again, I want it all, I want it all with her.

"Take me home." I whisper in her ear and I'm a little surprised when I hear my own voice, it's husky and I don't remember talking like this ever before. She nods her head frantically and picks up my bag.

"Come on."

…**.**


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE **

**RELEASING TENSION**

It takes us just a couple of minutes to get home but it's enough to drive me crazy with want. I can't explain how big the need of her touch is hitting me, how rush the blood boils within my veins at the mere thought of her anchoring hands and brutal strength.

We stumble our way upstairs trying to keep our lips attached to each other and once we're inside our room she pins me against the door and I close my eyes in anticipation of what's to come but, nothing happens. I open my eyes and find her staring at me, her chest raising high and her eyes piercing through me but her hands firmly placed on each side of my head, holding her weight on the door and effectively keeping her distance.

"Wait," she pulls back when I try to kiss her and instead of feeling hurt of the rejection I find myself frustrated, does she want this or not? "I want to, I want you so bad Quinn."

"Then why are you dragging this on?"

"I don't want you to do anything you'll regret later besides, I really like you and I don't want to mess things up, not with you."

"You won't, I promise. I want you too and I have for a while now but I swear to God Rachel, that if we're not naked in the next ten seconds I'm going to…"

My rant is cut off by her glorious lips pressing against mine and as I bite on her bottom lip I realize that she's holding back, I mean, the passion is there but at the same time it's not and instead of feeling completely and utterly wanted I feel I'm being taking care of and any other time I would really appreciate this kind of behavior but not right now, not when I feel like I can explode out of how much I want her.

"What are you…?" I push her off of me and free my hair lose.

"I really like you too Rachel and I appreciate you don't wanting to mess things up because God knows that I don't want to do that either," I take my cheerios shirt off and start working on my skirt as I talk to her "but right now? Right now you're dealing with the girl that you knocked up and she is asking you to put your hands on her." Her eyes widen as my skirt falls to the ground. I take my spanks off and now I'm standing before her with nothing but my black bra and matching tong.

"Can you do that?" I ask her but before she can say anything I grab a hold on her top and pull her to me, crashing our bodies and our mouths together.

"Damn it, Quinn. You are so beautiful."

Her lips kiss my chin and then her teeth bite my neck lightly before kissing it better and the gush of need that washes over me is stronger than anything I've ever felt in my life. I need her and that's all I can think about.

I help her take her top off and as soon as the piece of fabric is on the floor I work on her belt and button. She is so ready for this and in an instant my hands are full of her, she gasps and her hands squeeze my waist and suddenly everything becomes erotic, new and even though a part of me tells me that it should feel wrong, everything feels so damn good and tempting that it's unstoppable.

I laugh at how incredible it feels to be about to do something that I actually want and seek out for myself.

"What are you laughing about?" the tone of her voice is dangerous as she steps out of her jeans and grabs a hold of my thighs before she lifts me from the ground and pushes me against the door with force.

"Oh, Fuck!" I scream when she makes contact with me and rocks her hips slowly making me moan and dig my nails on her shoulders. I wasn't thinking when I laughed and I am definitely not thinking now because this feels so damn good!

"Not laughing now, are we?"

"Not funny, I want you" I manage to say between groans and moans that erupt from the deepest of my throat. Her lips nip at my neck and her hands squeeze my legs pulling me closer to her.

"I can feel how bad you do" she says in a husky voice, her movements never stopping, "I can smell you" she whispers in my ear and I let out a loud moan as every inch of my body screams in agony.

"Rachel" I'm pleading now, begging "I need you, please."

Before I know that we're moving I fall on the bed and open my eyes to find her staring at me with a depredatory look in her beckoning eyes.

"You are so beautiful" she breathes out, the look in her eyes softening by the second as I become more and more desperate.

"Rachel?"

"I've wanted this for so long. I've wanted to date you for so long and now you're here" the smile on her lips almost hurts of how adorable it's turning out to be and I love it but my body has a mind on its own for the moment.

Before she has the chance to sit on the bed I push her to the side and remove my underwear in front of her.

"I've wanted it too and I like you and you like me. We'll talk about it but right now I need you to take me, Rachel."

The look on her face is complete and utter surprise but I literally can't wait another second and grabbing a hold of her boxers I push them down her thighs, the proof of her arouse almost hitting me in the face in the process.

For a moment I become captivated by the sight of it. I've never seen one for real –not counting Finn's because God knows that that was an honest mistake-, and Rachel's is kind of delicate looking in a dangerous way.

I reach out, ignoring the shuttering of her body when I make contact with the baby like skin and just touch it. I never thought it'd look like this, it's not a sight you could call adorable but it's not a bad sight either and even though the surface is soft and smooth, it's firm and strong. And then of course, I realize what I'm doing and look up at her trembling lips, I'm killing her with the anticipation now.

I take her hands and place them on my face, her thumbs caress my cheeks and I lay back on the bed, pulling her with me. Her lips immediately attached become attached to my neck as her hands travel from my face to my shoulders and arms. I bury my hands on her neck as she spread my legs and rests her weight on top of me.

I scratch the skin of her back as her lips and tongue kiss the swell of my breasts and her heated body slips together with mine.

"Rachel" her name falls from my lips as her hands squeeze my thighs and then I gasp at the feeling of her fingers running up and down my wetness.

"You're so ready for this" her fingers add more pressure as she speaks making me moan and dig my nails on her back to feel like I'm holding onto something.

"Rachel" I feel her smiling lips against the valley of my breasts at the same time that her fingers stop touching me only to have both of her hands squeezing my boobs lightly and deliciously.

"Please, Rachel" I beg just in time to feel her lower regions rubbing against me and that's when I almost lose it.

I throw my head at the feeling of her at my entrance; the anticipation is killing me and slowly driving me insane. I realize that I'm shaking, but I'm not sure if it's out of fear or just pure eagerness.

"Do it" I whisper in her ear as her lips kiss my cheek and lips. She shifts on the bed and I feel her closer, her eyes locked on mine as her hand travels south. I don't look away from her eyes as she gathers the natural lubricator that I'm providing us with and I only close my eyes for a second when she pushes a little inside.

My breath has become shattered, I'm woozy and drunk with desire, my hands gripping her shoulders and even more so when she pushes herself all the way inside of me.

She gasps for air, her dark eyes looking worriedly into mine. I feel stretched, wet and I have the foreign feeling of having a tone of weight on my lower abdomen.

"Are you okay, beautiful?" she kisses my chin as she waits for an answer but I'm entranced by the look of her hips between my legs and our conjoined state that I take a moment to answer.

I kiss her and as I close my eyes letting her lips moved against mine, all I can think about is that I trust her completely and that I'd have never been able to be this intimate with anyone else.

"Take me, Rachel." I open my eyes just in time to see her smiling down at me.

"I thought you were already mine, you know? With you, living in the house and sleeping in the same bed as me."

Her smile is playful and I love that she can make this a light time, a fun experience but also put a deeper meaning into it, a hidden wish.

"Then make it official and take me once and for all."

Her arm slips under my waist as soon as I say the words and the movement makes me wrap my legs around her a little higher, allowing her to slip further and deeper inside of me.

"God, Rachel!"

She starts moving in a slow and rhythmic pace that it's enough to make me see stars behind my eyelids and feel as full as one can feel in those areas.

"I can't believe this is happening" she confesses as her forehead comes to rest against mine and then her pace increases but just barely.

"I don't want those girls on your back anymore" I scratch the back of her neck as her lips nip my neck and her hips thrust deeper within me, dragging the pull on my abdomen to a wild and almost unbearable lever.

"I'm yours, completely yours."

Her lips find mine as her hips begin a wild pace that takes both of our breaths away. I wrap my arms around her neck as I feel her lose control and her teeth sinking on my shoulder.

"God, you feel so good, so good."

"Rachel, Rachel. Something's happening" the pull on my abdomen becomes almost tangible, almost painful to bare and I need… something.

"Let go, baby. Just let it go" I open my eyes to find hers in front of me, her whole face is flushed, her hair sticking to her forehead and it's in this moment that I realize that I'd do anything she'd ask me to do, and I let go.

The feeling that suddenly envelops me is nearly shocking.

I feel her everywhere, from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head I feel her and it's delicious, she is amazing, a Goddess.

"My God!" she gasps in my ear as electricity travels through my veins and makes me shiver against her but in the middle of my orgasm I feel her start her thrust against with renew strength.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel" her name is all I can think about, all that exists, all that I live for since this very moment.

"I'm coming" her body tenses as I pull her hair with light strength and feel her spilling her come deep inside of me. My body jolts with pleasure and this second orgasm surprise us both but it never occurred to me that the feeling of her essence inside of me could provide that kind of reaction.

She's still trembling on top of me when I open my eyes; we're trying to recover our breaths and our bodies is one big tangle of limps trying to stay together as much as possible.

The next few minutes we stay completely steal, not regretting, not second guessing, just enjoying the peace that surrounds us all of the sudden.

She looks up and locks her eyes with me as she pulls out her softening member out of me tenderly but she lies on top of me right away and her lips find my shoulder where she bit me and she kisses it better as I run my fingers on her hair and scratch her scalp.

With her hands on my sides and her face nuzzled between my breasts, we stay and I endure this moment in my memory and know that I won't forget it, ever; because this is the first time when I feel happy and loved, this is the first time that I've given myself completely to somebody and I'm glad this somebody is Rachel.

"I love you" is heard out loud even though we both whispered it.

The burning sensation on my chest threatens to burn me alive but I settle for smiling and trying to contain the growing excitement inside my chest. She said it and I said it, and oh my God! It really happened!

She jumps on her fours, her smile as big as mine, her eyes reflecting the excitement that I'm feeling. She laughs and kisses my lips, my cheeks, my eyes, my neck, my lips again, all while laughing.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." She says it over and over again, her lips peppering mine one more time before watching me with the widest smile that I've ever seen on her adorable face.

"You are such a goofy dork," I cup her face with my hands and hold her in place as I kiss her again, "and I love you as well."

The words hang in the air, heavy and perfect. I think about her words from early and realize that she didn't just fall in love with me.

"How long?" I carefully ask but her eyes remain locked with mine, not an ounce of doubt or hesitance in her.

"Too long, since the first time you pushed me away from you five years ago in the little park a few blocks away from here."

Five years. She was eleven, five years ago; can someone fall in love at that age? Does a kid even know what love is at that stage?

"You got to the swing first and I just wanted to know your name. Your eyes were just mesmerizing, they've always been."

"But all those girls?"

"They were on my league. I thought that I was never going to be able to get to you, I couldn't even be your friend without acting like a total weirdo."

"You're not a weirdo"

"I tried to see someone else like that but the truth is that no one compares to you, no one comes even close to who you are, no one made feel capable of anything, no one made me want to be better, no one challenged me the way that you do"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I was afraid to make a fool of myself but then that night in the party you talked to me, danced with me and then you kissed me"

"I remember now."

We were dancing in the middle of the living room downstairs when I felt a pull drawing me towards her and her lips, and the alcohol gave me the courage I lack when sober and I just went for it. We laughed, we danced and we kissed some more. She was just as drunk as I was, lost as I was, and eager as well.

"I wanted to stop and I would have had if you had asked me but at the same time I wanted to be with you, feel you, love you as if I would never get to hold you again."

"I don't regret it." And I mean it, I mean it with all my heart. I caress her cheeks with my fingers, hoping to ease her because I can see in her eyes how bad that choice has been hunting her since that night.

"That's what scares me the most because I don't regret it either. That night was the most incredible night of my life and I wouldn't change a thing because I belong with you and I'm glad that you found me, I'm glad to be home and I'm glad to be your family. I love you."

"I love you too" I kiss her deep; I kiss her hard and tender. She is my tomorrow, she is the rest of my life and she is my family.

"You don't know how happy that makes me"

"If it is as happy as you make me then we're even" she smiles and kisses my chin as I run my fingers through her hair to keep her in place.

"I fell for you and I fell on my face because I didn't expect it, didn't see it coming, you came without a warning sign and it terrified me. You weren't just my first time in bed, you were my first everything."

"I love you"

"You care for me in a way that nobody has ever cared before, and I was right there with you, I didn't want to see you hurt, I wanted you happy because it made me happy, still does. You call me beautiful instead of blonde and hot, you hold my hand because you want to and not because of your reputation. You love me and I feel it, you're my first love and the best experience so far, the only experience I want to have. I belong with you as much as you belong with me, I love you."

She kisses me softly, carefully, like she's making a promise with her lips, a promise to continue to be who I fell for, a promise to love me tomorrow.

"Let's not forget you're also having your first kid with me."

She giggles, her face hidden on my neck now. It's so easy to break a perfect moment, isn't it?

"Ass"

"I love you"

"Say it again"

"I love you" we kiss and as she tries to slip between my legs I swap her back playfully, she jumps down and kisses my belly "and I love you, baby girl."

"We love you too."

She kisses my belly again before coming up and lay beside me, now on our sides we are face to face. The smiles on our faces as big as new.

"Be my girlfriend?" it melts my heart because she could have easily slipped a 'please' in that petition.

"I thought we agreed we were together"

"Be my girlfriend, Fabray. Let me make you happy and make me happy by saying yes" her lips kiss my nose and I giggle. She makes me feel so much and I love it. I can't get enough from her and it's addicting this feeling.

"Only if you agree to be mine" she laughs before pecking my lips again.

"Then we're together"

"Forever"

"Forever"

"Is anyone home?" Shelby's voice comes from the stairs and before she gets too close we need to find our clothes.

It's so easy to break a perfect moment.

**:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN **

**LOVE IS MADE**

"We have to take a shower" I try to scape her sneaky hands but I can't and laugh harder than before when she touches one particular ticklish spot right above my ribs.

"I found your weakness, Fabray" she laughs with me but doesn't let me get away just yet.

We just came up to our room after having dinner with her parents and Puck. We are not smelling –or at least I hope that we're not- but when Shelby got home we didn't have time to take showers and I swear Puck can smell sex from a mile away, he is like a dog sex, a shark sex, whatever but he kept smirking at me throughout all dinner and I tried hard to pay attention to Shelby and Kevin but he was so distracting.

"Your hair is a mess but you still look adorable," I chuckle at the randomness of that comment as Rachel looks down at me from her position on top.

"Fishing for compliments, baby?"

"Just stating a fact, darling"

"I hate Puck"

"He's an ass but your sex hair was a dead giveaway too"

"Why didn't you tell me I had sex hair?"

"Cause you looked amazing and mom seemed to like it as well"

"Oh my God" she laughs as I cover my face feeling mortified, that's why Shelby kept staring at my head as she told as about the appointment.

"By next Wednesday we'll be watching a picture of our baby" she smiles widely and leans in to kiss me.

"I bet is a girl"

"But it can be a boy" I run my hands on her arms, up and down.

"What if we're having twins and we end up having a girl and a boy?" I laugh at her excited face and antics, and as much as I already love this baby, two would be just asking for trouble, not that I have any say in the matter anyway.

"We'll go insane before we even name them"

"Then we'll have to think two baby names, get two baby cribs, we'll have to have two of everything" suddenly her brow furrows and a concern expression takes over her face. I smile and caress her cheeks before pulling her down for a kiss.

"Calm down sweetie, I bet is a girl too" she lets out a breath and lays on her back pulling me closer to her, I rest my head in her chest, my arm around her midsection and her fingers running on my hair.

"Can you imagine a mini you with your eyes?" I can hear the smile in her voice.

"I was trying to imagine her with yours" I confess and look up at her. She has a dreamy look on her face, a small smile on her lips.

"My eyes, your hair, she has to come out with your nose or else she's fucked" I slap her in the stomach and she laughs.

"I happen to love your nose."

We stay lying in bed for a couple of minutes, both lost in the thought of our child and what our lives will become when she or he arrives but before I get too comfortable I know that we really need to take that shower before we fall sleep.

"We seriously need that shower"

"It can wait till the morning"

"No, it can't. I was about to die from embarrassment in front of your parents and Puck! I just want that shower and forget the memory of his stupid smirk out of my head" she starts laughing and while I admit it was funny, it was also the most embarrassing moment of my entire life, "it's not funny, come on."

"It is" she says but she follows me to the shower anyway.

…

"Stop it" she's kissing my shoulder, her arms wrapped around my waist from behind and it's not that I don't want to but first, we're in the shower and second, her parents' room is right across from ours.

"You don't want to?" her voice is already hoarse and her kisses are not stopping, involuntarily I throw my head back, granting her more skin to lavish.

"Your parents are across the hall, they'll hear us" the water is falling on my already sensitive breasts and her entire length pressing on my back side is not helping to control myself either.

"They wont, the room is sound proof, I promise" her hands run up from my stomach to cup my breasts and I gasp at the touch of her warm hands.

"Stop" it comes out as a moan and she hugs me instead of keep going.

"Later?" she kisses my ear and then grants me space to actually shower.

"Definitely"

"Then let's shower"

She smiles and kisses my lips before we actually start to take a shower. I can't help to let my thoughts wonder and I don't think that I'd ever felt comfortable sharing a shower with someone else this way. I mean sure, I share a shower with the girls on the squad all the time but not like this and we have cubicles, the thing is that I don't feel uncomfortable with Rachel, I don't feel like I need to be aware of my every move because I trust her and she's shown me that she loves me just as much as I love her and doubt just doesn't get into the picture of us, not anymore, not after the last couple of weeks.

"We'll need another shower later, we're being contra productive" she laughs but I can tell that all is in good fun; she's not trying to persuade me into it anymore.

"When planned, nothing really is."

When we get out of the shower and her lips find mine on our way to the bed, I don't fight it, I don't rush it, I enjoy it and convey myself to memorize the taste and texture of her lips kissing me.

The towel slips from my hands and the sudden need to cover myself never comes, I feel at ease, comfortable even as her eyes look at every inch of exposed skin in my body, I don't mind and instead I welcome her stare, I yearn it somehow.

She looks as comfortable as I feel and as her fingers tuck my wet hair behind my ears I truly believe that we've found each other because we didn't have another option, we were always meant to be together and there was just no way that we could have been apart. Sooner or later we would have come together.

"You are so beautiful" her whisper, her voice, it anchors me, it balances me, centers me, it makes me feel so much and still it is nothing compared to how responsive and sensitive my body is of her. I feel the heat of her skin pressing against mine, every pore and nerve is aware of her presence, of her touch.

I watch her hands, touch them and feel them caressing my waist. There is anything more intimate than hands, you can make love and connect with someone intimately like that but hands? Hands take you to a different level, they make you feel connected, they give you the chance to be complete with someone else, to interlace like no other part of your body allows you to and for longer periods of time.

"I love you" and I've never said anything as true before in my life, I've never felt the need to say those words like I do today and yet somehow they don't seem enough.

"You really are something else, you know?" my hands are running up her arms as she speaks, she stays still, letting me have my moment. "I love you."

The words are as pure as mine and I feel it, I recognize it, I know that nothing and no one can ever replace her.

I become entranced by her skin, by the texture of her muscles, by the way goosebumps awake as my fingers grace her and I know that I love her body as much as I love her personality.

When we lay in the middle of the bed I know that I'm about to experiment something completely new by the way her eyes sparkle with joy, with trust.

When our lips come together once more I can tell that this will be a long night and I'm not wrong.

When our breaths come out in shattered gasps of air and I can't feel my legs nor she can move, we finally stop.

For a minute or maybe an hour, we stay like this; just breathing each other in, trying to make the air go back to our lungs and we are at peace.

"Tell me something you've never told anyone else before."

My mind immediately starts processing, trying to recall a guarded secret to share with her as she finds the strength to move and lay beside me. I follow her until we're both facing each other on our sides, our legs intertwined, the blanket barely covering our naked bodies, our hairs a mess but completely content.

"Anything?"

"Something that means a lot for you but you never felt the need to share it."

As her fingers play on my chin and her lips kiss the corner of my lips, I find the moment and it's stupid and completely girly that I'm having second thoughts about sharing it.

"Promise you won't tease me about it"

"I would never"

"I know you wouldn't" she kisses my lips this time and I try to remember without being completely dragged and drawn in the memory of my family.

"When I was eleven my father had to go to LA for a Seminary, it was the first time that we stayed home alone. Grace and I were close at the time, I remember she liked spending time with me, teaching me things, telling me what to do to not make daddy angry, telling me what I should say when he called my name and asked for something. I guess she did me a great favor at the time, she was always a step ahead of me and knew the consequences to certain things that a kid may do. In that sense I guess she had it worse than I did when we were growing up"

"What do you mean she had it worse?"

"He wasn't abusive, not physically at least but he had a way with words, he still does, it's a way to make anyone feel lower than dirt, undeserving of love even"

"Did he make you feel that way?"

"A couple of times but it was only because I had all the scoop on how he worked because of what Grace told me, it came a time when I stopped messing up and Grace became his main target, he was always comparing her to me and with time she became resentful of that. She stopped talking to me and when she left for college we weren't even friends anymore"

"I'm sorry, baby" she kisses my cheek and hugs me closer to her body, I haven't allowed myself to think about my sister and what brought us apart in so long but now that I do, I know that I was just trying to be good, I didn't know what that would mean for her at the time. "Keep telling me about the time your father went to LA?"

I kiss her and rest my head on her chest before hugging her and feeling her fingers on my hair.

"We had a girls' day. We went to the saloon and our mom let us get a mani and a pedi. I was static and I remember getting the flower spring design in my tiny nails and Grace got a more modern design with purple and yellow lines. After that we went shopping, mom got me a yellow spring dress and a pink cardigan with matching ballet shoes, I felt like a princess but it wasn't just the clothes, or the mani and the pedi, it was because we were alone, he wasn't around and we were just _happy_"

"I don't want to sound like I don't love my father because I do, I've always been a daddy's girl but that day I got a glimpse of what life was, real life, you know?"

"Is that the happiest memory of your childhood?"

"Yes and no" she doesn't say anything, waiting for me to keep going, "yes, because of everything I told you and also because I've never seen my mom laughing that much, she was glowing, beautiful and no, because when we got home my father was there and instead of saying 'hi' he went on and on about how much money we spent and how he had been alone for nearly two hours."

"We'll make new memories, ones that you are able to remember without the feeling of drag, ones that can make you completely happy", I raise my head to watch the determined look in her eyes, "I promise."

We both whisper I love you before I lean in and kiss her deeply, softly.

"Tell me something you've never told anyone else before" she smiles adoringly before I assume my previous position by her side, facing her.

"Promise you won't tease me about it?" she laughs at the look in my face and I swap her arm in a playful way before she kisses me again.

"When we were twelve, Puck and I were staying with our uncles for a whole weekend. They're not really our uncles but they are the closest thing we have to an extended family, anyway, they left to buy pizza and we went to pick up a movie and watch it, are you sure you want to hear this? It's kind of my deepest secret"

"More than ever now, keep going"

"We started searching through the shelves but nothing was calling our attention and we knew that they kept a collection in their room as well so we went up there and of course before we found an interesting movie we forgot we weren't in our house, we forgot about rules and everything that we weren't supposed to do, I mean we were alone and together and that never happened at home because mom always said that we were a danger together so the room was pretty much a glorious mess before we sat down" she laughs as I get closer and kiss her shoulder, I can only imagine what Shelby went through with raising these two.

"Anyway, we played the movie and we sat in the middle of their bed to watch it, right? So, we don't realize or well actually we didn't even have a clue, I mean we were twelve but it was porn and before we knew it there were two girls getting it on on the screen and two dudes ready to get in there as well"

"Oh my God" I laugh while she blushes; probably remembering the embarrassment I know it's coming.

"The volume was really up so we didn't hear them coming in or coming up the stairs so when they get to the door of their bedroom they throw the pizza to the floor, their hands in their mouths and complete horrified looks on their faces"

"Baby" now I feel sympathetic about it.

"I didn't know exactly what was so wrong about it, at home we never really had to look out for anything like that and Puck and I have always been really close so we weren't influenced by any other kids around but it was in that moment that we knew that we did something wrong, very wrong"

"Uncle Pete turned off the TV while uncle J took us out of his room and then when Puck and I were standing in the hallway their eyes fell on our crotch and there it was"

"Oh my God!" she laughs along with me and I kiss her cheek to make her feel a bit better.

"Yeah, the first time that we were able to get them _up_ was in our uncles' house and without even meaning to."

"My God, baby!" we laugh and she tells me how they never told their parents and their uncles never did as well or at least that's what they think.

"But that is your most embarrassing moment, what about a meaningful moment? Something that really makes you feel alive when you recall it, something that you could never forget"

"That's easy" her answer is immediate and I'm a little scared until she smiles and interlocks the fingers of our hands together, "and you are in every single one of those moments."

"The first one is when we were dancing in the living room, we were both drunk but I remember trying with all my strength to make that moment last forever. I didn't know what had gotten into you at the time but instead of wondering I followed you around, I danced with you because that's what you wanted to do and I was willing to go wherever you wanted me to go that night and every night since then"

"I freaked out when I woke up, I didn't know what to do, where to go but I knew one thing for sure. I knew that you'd rip my head off if you saw me here so I went with Puck and told Santana and Brittany to check on you a bit later. I didn't remember all that happened at first but then I did, two days later I had remembered everything but was still afraid to tell you but even then, I knew that I you needed to know"

"I never meant to lose my virginity that night but I remember not saying no, the rest of the puzzled came together when we spoke in detention"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I should have and I have no excuse for it" I hug her closer, I can feel her regret and I don't want her to regret us, whatever happened in the past, it's in the past, now we're here and we have to live the present.

"Keep telling me about these moments"

"When you told me you were pregnant I was terrified but most of all happiness embraced me like it never had before. Being who I am, what I am and what I'm supposed to be I knew from a very young age that the chance to be happy, to be married and have a family were very slim for me and then there you were, pregnant with my child and even if you didn't want me by your side at the beginning, it was my kid that you were carrying and the thought alone made me happy" I don't say anything, just plant my lips to her chin and urge her to keep going.

"That's why I accepted your conditions, you said you'd go with Finn and I was ready to stand back because it's your life and your decision but then when you called that night I knew that I had to try harder and I did and even though you hated me for bringing you here, I don't regret it."

"Thank you"

"What for?"

"For fighting me that night, for bringing me with you even when I was being cruel and stupid, for staying and loving me"

"I could never not love you, I have for a long time and the statics says I will love you for a very long time to come."

She hugs me closer and as we fell silent, letting sleep come to us I think about how much we've changed in the last couple of weeks, how our minds don't even slip into teenage mode anymore, we have bigger things to think about and I'm grateful to have her by my side through it all. I know that I'm having a baby with the right person and that's more than I can ask for right now.

…

**Thank you for your reviews guys, I'm glad you're still interested in this little piece and don't forget to tell me what you think about this chapter. Till next time lovelies :) **


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**MOOD SWINGS**

I wake up to the feeling of vile in my throat and run the now familiar path in the dark towards the in-suite. My bare knees hit the floor hard but the pain barely registers as I grab onto the toilet and throw up into it.

It's not until I'm finishing emptying my stomach that I realize that Rachel is with me, my hair firmly hold on her hand as she caresses my back and kisses the top of my head repeatedly.

"Are you done, baby?" I hum my answer and she helps me standing up before flushing the toilet. She guides me towards the sink and passes the mouth wash, her hand never stops rubbing my back and when I'm done she kisses my forehead before we get out of the bathroom.

It's been nine weeks now and every single morning at exactly 2 am I've woken up with morning sickness, Shelby says that it should stop once I hit my second trimester so I still have three to four weeks of this and that is only hoping.

I feel exhausted and guilty that Rachel is up as well but most of all I feel sore in my throat, it's not even that I actually throw up but the sensation and the gagging really takes a toll out on me.

Once I'm seated on the edge of our bed she scrunches down in front of me and kisses my hands, it's almost like a silent 'sorry for putting you through this' and I don't ever want her to apologize.

"Thank you" I tell her before I pull her up and kiss her lips, she smiles and kisses me again.

"I'm here for you, especially at two am in the morning, ok. I love you"

"I love you too" we kiss again and then we lay on the bed, with my head on her shoulder and her arms around me. We always stay up after my abrupt wake up calls, sometimes we talk until we fall sleep but other nights, like tonight we are just happy to be in each other arms until sleep calls our names.

I always thought that I'd be a bitter pregnant woman but I guess it's Rachel the one that gets the best out of me, even in the worst moments of this pregnancy. She is just so patient with everything, bitterness doesn't even fit into my language with her in my life.

"Are we sure we want to keep her?" her voice is soft, her lips pressing against my forehead reassuring.

"Are you having second thoughts about it?"

"No, I just want us to think about everything before we decide on what to do next."

I agree with her, I understand how scary it's been and how giving up our baby would make everything easier, on the other hand I know that giving her up has never really been an option for me.

"I don't want to give her up" her lips kiss my forehead again and her arms hug me tighter.

"Neither do I, baby"

"Are you scared of the future?"

"Yes, terrified"

"About what exactly?"

"About us, about our kid. I want to be able to give you guys everything that you need and I know that our entire lives are going to change completely"

"No more kid's stuff"

"No more kid's stuff"

We smile into our next kiss and I giggle as she kisses my neck and chin in a playful way.

"There's something I've been wanting to discuss with you"

"What is it?" just the way her brow furrows in deep thought I can tell that she's not sure how to say whatever it is that's been bothering her.

"It's about the Cheerios" and she doesn't need to say another word because I understand where this is going. When my hand stiffs on her shoulder she looks at me regretfully.

"I guess we should talk about it, huh?"

"Don't do that" she practically begs as my icy tone is heard and I immediately regret it.

"I know what I have to do and I've been thinking about it but it still hurts to have to leave it, y'know?"

"I can imagine baby, but you have to think about safety first, you have two lives in your hands Quinn and it worries me sick every time that you are in practice. I don't want to tell you what to do or how to live your life but I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you or our baby"

"I know Rachel, I know" I cut her off not wanting to hear another word. I try to roll away from her arms but she doesn't let me, instead she places her hand on my belly where a little bump is starting to show, it's tiny and barely noticeable but that's our baby.

"I love you" she whispers in my ear as I place my hand close to hers on my belly, her fingers immediately interlock with mine as she kisses my cheek. "Our baby's growing" I can hear the smile in her voice and I decide in this precise moment that the Cheerios will be there next year and the year after that but I get to carry this baby only once and I want to do safely.

"I'm quitting by the end of next week"

"I love you"

"I love you too and now your family hungry, can you feed us?" she laughs and groans but she stands up from bed with a smile as wide as mine right now.

"Of course I will, come on you can tell me about new names you like while I cook your bacon."

…

I wake up at the sound of loud cursing, I recognize Rachel's laugh behind it and then realize that is Puck the angry one, unconsciously I stretch my arms looking for her on the bed but she's not here and her side of the bed is cold as well, meaning she's left a while ago.

The window is a bit open, the morning sun lights up the entire room. I rub my eyes before I focus on the clock on the nightstand, it's almost ten in the morning and I still feel sleepy.

I take a quick shower and get dressed in the most casual attire I can find, jean shorts, a top and sneakers. I do the bed and pick up our dirty laundry before going downstairs.

After I set the washer I go out to the backyard where all the screaming can still be heard, Puck is definitely not happy this morning.

Shelby and Kevin are standing by the grill, smoke surrounding them as they book together. The ping pong table in untouched at the moment and Rachel is doubling down as she laughs at the top of her lungs and Puck stares at her like trying to make lasers shoot through his eyes and towards his twin.

"Good morning" I wave as Shelby turns around and gets closer to Puck.

"Hi, sweetheart. I hope you had a good night sleep" she smiles as she massages her son's shoulders.

"We heard you two were up last night, good morning" Kevin winks as Rachel finally comes to my side and kisses me.

"Morning sickness"

"And bacon emergency" Shelby and Kevin laugh as Puck keeps glaring at my girlfriend.

"Don't' be such a baby" I tell Puck but that only wins me an eye roll and a sad kicked poppy look from him accompanied by a pout that's not nearly as adorable as Rachel's.

"Don't mind him" Rachel says and before I know it she picks me up from the ground and spins me around. I'm giggling like a maniac by the time that she puts my feet back on the ground.

"My parents decided that it's a beautiful morning for a family barbecue and I saved you your bacon, baby"

"You know I love you right?"

"You only love me right now because I said bacon"

"That's not true" I laugh while she huffs.

"It's just not fair, you know she was cheating!" Puck insists and Shelby's eyes meet mine with an eye roll.

"Noah's ego is a little hurt right now, Rach just won for the fifth time by the time you got here"

"In a row!" Kevin screams laughing, obviously amused by his son's attitude.

"Whatever" Puck says walking towards Kevin and grabbing some bacon from his hands, "Rachel is a cheater and everyone knows it"

"All five times Puck?" she asks in good humor but I can tell that he's no longer amused.

"Yeah!" he yells.

"Someone is a really sore loser"

"Alright, alright, come help me Puck and forget about the game, your sister has a killer right hook and you know it." With that Kevin finishes the little dispute and Shelby goes back to help him while Puck takes out some plates, I focus on wrapping my arms around Rachel and kiss her smiling lips.

"I love this little smug smirk of yours" I tell her and she kisses me again.

"It only appears when I win at ping pong"

"Then we should make sure that you play against Puck more often"

"Are you saying I can't beat you in ping pong?"

"Baby," I laugh and kiss her one more time, "I know you can't."

She huffs, obviously not believing me as I take her hand and guide her towards the table and the grill where we quickly set on to help as well.

We've never done anything like this in my house, weekends usually consisted in trying to wake up my drunk father from the living room floor and take him to his room where my passed out mother was waiting for him. I shake my head and focus on Rachel's smiling face and the touch of her soft lips on my cheek as we serve the meat.

I can't help to feel a little jealous of the Puckermans but it doesn't compare with the joy that I also feel to be part of their family now. I can safely say that this is a very nice change and I can't believe how well I'm getting along with all of them and it's only been two weeks but for some reason I feel like I can be myself around them, I don't need to pull up the perfect Christian girl act in this house, I feel relieved and loved, I don't think I've ever felt this good before.

After lunch we agree on watching a movie in the living room and while Puck took care of the dishes after he 'accidently' threw the jar of juice on Rachel, Shelby and I relaxed for a little while in the large couch.

"What movie are we watching?" Rachel asks entering the living room and sitting beside me, I immediately cuddle up next to her and she welcomes me with a kiss.

"How was your shower?" her eyes find her smirking brother as he walks inside the living room with pillows and blankets for all.

"He's gonna pay" she kisses me as Kevin cuddles Shelby on the other end of the couch.

"How about that new one, the one that Rachel made us buy last weekend"

"Drive Angry? Yeah, dad good one" Puck has the movie in his hands already.

"Nicolas Cage? I like it" Shelby says with a smirk on her face that's totally harmless and Kevin rolls his eyes at her, I love their relationship.

"Amber Heard!" Puck and Rachel says in unison and I roll my eyes, Amber is pretty, _if_ you're into that kind of pretty, sure

…

Amber Heard is not pretty, not pretty at all. She is the ugliest girl I've ever seen in my life! How is it possible for someone to be that hot? And she is into girls as well?! I hate this movie with all my being!

Rachel's eyes are glued to the screen, I hate this movie! She shouldn't be watching other girls while I'm by her side, I'm right here!

"Rachel!" she is not the only one that looks at me with wide eyes and surprise written on her face.

"What's wrong?" her tone is tentative and it only enrages me more.

"Can you at least pretend that you're not into the slut on the screen?!" I throw a pillow at her face and sit straight on the couch crossing my legs and arms at the same time. I don't even want to look at her right now and I can't believe how furious I feel.

"Baby, it's just a movie"

"And that gives you the right to look at her like that?"

"I'm not looking at her in any way"

"Yeah, well, it looks like you wish she were the one sitting here with you and not me!"

"Baby, you're acting crazy"

"Oh no" Shelby covers her face with her hands.

"She did not" Kevin says watching with such an interest and a hint of amusement in his face but I don't even care about their reaction, I care about what just came out of her mouth.

"What did you just say?" I stand from the couch and ignore Puck's lame attempt to go unnoticed as he runs where his parents are.

"Well… I… I didn't…" Rachel looks at her mom and then back at me, a terrified expression on her face that pisses me off to no end and back.

"I know you didn't just call me crazy, Rachel"

"I didn't"

"Because you wouldn't be stupid enough to call the mother of your unborn child, crazy!"

"I'm not, I'm not"

"Only you are!"

"Baby, come on"

"Come on, what!"

"It's just a movie, it's not like I'm gonna end up with the girl on the screen or something"

"Rachel honey, stop talking" Shelby pleads while I literally feel like smoke is coming out from my ears and my heart is being ripped apart at the same time. I cannot believe her!

"And because you're never going to get to be with a woman like that, you have the right to eye fuck the screen when your girlfriend is by your side?!" I can hear my own voice echoing in the house and Rachel takes a hesitant step towards me, I can see the confusion in her eyes but there is understanding in there as well.

"I wasn't" her whisper is enough to break me, I feel the tears coming and before they fall in front of everybody I sit on the couch and cover my face with my hands. She probably thinks I'm insane by this point and I'm not even sure what is happening, all I know is that I'm not hot enough for her, she has to buy this lame movies with hot girls because she doesn't have someone beautiful to look at.

"What the hell? Mom?" Puck's voice triggers something within me.

"You!" I stand up pointing my finger at his chest while his eyes go wide and he takes a step back from me, "you don't do anything like what you did earlier to my girlfriend and you don't buy stupid lame movies with Amber slutty Heard on them anymore, understood?!"

"Yes, ma'am" before he says anything else the tears cloud my vision one more time and I don't care this time if my sobs are too loud or if I wet my top and look ugly, I don't care about anything, I just want to cry.

"Baby" I hear Rachel calling and I turn around, she hugs me tight even though I want to run up the stairs, she doesn't let me. "Baby, talk to me" she says wiping my tears away with her soft hands and sitting down on the couch again with me on her lap.

"You're going to leave me for that girl on the screen"

"No, baby…"

"I'm going to get fat and ugly and you're going to find another girl, a hot one"

"Quinn, baby, stop it"

"And I'm going to end up alone with a child to raise on my own and I'm going to be a Lima Loser for the rest of my life"

"Quinn, stop it" her voice turns harsh and even my sobs stop as I look up to find her worried expression.

"I'm not pretty enough for you" I cry, softer now and she grabs my shoulders forcefully and makes me look at her.

"Stop it! You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, I've been in love with you for God knows how long and that's not going to change because of some girl in a lame ass movie without any real concept whatsoever, get it?"

"But I'm not pretty enough"

"Baby, you are the most beautiful girl in Lima, you have a body to die for, every guy would kill to be in my place right now, you are Quinn Fabray, the knock out of this lame town and school, baby you are that girl everybody wants to be with"

"What about Amber Heard?"

"I don't care about Amber Heard, I have Quinn Fabray right here with me and she is way more beautiful and hotter"

"You think I'm hot?" I'm still sobbing and looking around I realize that we're alone, Shelby, Kevin and Puck are nowhere to be found.

"You are the hottest girl Quinn, the most beautiful one I've ever seen and I love you, Amber Heard has nothing on you, nothing" she winks and kisses my face, my lips, my chin.

"I don't like that movie" I tell her suddenly feeling really embarrassed about everything.

"I don't like it either, how about the Little Mermaid?"

"How about you burn that dvd?" she chuckles and takes the disc out of the dvd player. I watch as she breaks it in her hands and then shows me the pieces with a smile on her face.

"The smell will be awful" I start crying again.

"Quinn baby, what is it now? I'll burn it, let's do it together but let's do it outside" she's trying to remove the pillow from my face and eventually I let her.

"I'm an awful person, I just made you get rid of your favorite movie"

"Quinn, you are not an awful person, you are my beautiful pregnant girlfriend and that was not my favorite movie, come on baby, give me this" she hugs me tight.

"I'm terrible and I feel like such an idiot" I cry in her shoulder.

"Stop it baby, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, I'm always going to be right here with you and I'm going to enjoy every second of it" she wipes my tears again and lays on the couch pulling me with her, my back pressed against the back of the couch so she's facing me.

"Do you still love me?" I ask her once the sobs and tears are gone for real.

"Yes, I never stopped and I never will, I will always love you, you're _it_ for me" she pecks my lips and wrapping her hands around my waist she pulls me closer to her body, I place my hand on the back of her neck and I pull her even closer to me and I kiss her with all that I have.

"I love you too Rachel, you're it for me as well and I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me, I feel so stupid"

"Don't apologize Quinn and you're not stupid, we're in this together, remember? I'm glad I get to experience every single little thing of this pregnancy with you"

"Even the crazy mood swings?" I ask her

"Even the lovely mood swings" she pecks my lips again. After that we snuggle together and with my head on her chest I fall sleep.

…

**Thank you guys for all your reviews and liking the little changes, and yes, I'll go along with the original plot of this fic so you know what's coming soon. Make sure to leave a little review for me :) **


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**AHEAD OF OURSELVES**

When I wake up the smell of bacon is the first thing that catches my attention and that I'm actually starving, the second thing I realize is that I'm alone in the couch but I'm covered with a little blanket that Rachel must have covered me with before she left.

Soft music can be heard as I make my way to the kitchen and when I walk inside a smile breaks on my face at the sight before me. My girlfriend cooks dinner while dancing and around, and singing to a rock song.

While I always think that she is extremely beautiful and gorgeous, there is something about her tonight and alright, it has everything to do with the fact that she isn't wearing pants, just a pair of black boxers and a white top hug her body and it's the sexiest look I've ever seen on her.

"I thought you were sleeping, baby" she walks towards me, spoon in one hand as the other reaches out to squeeze my waist. We kiss but she doesn't let me deepen it as I wish to do, she pulls back after pecking my lips with a smile on her face.

"I was cold" she huffs as I focus on her messy ponytail and bare feet clashing against the floor.

"Sorry about that but I thought we could use some food"

"It smells delicious"

"Making your favorite"

"Let me help you."

We fall into a nice pattern where I go and she comes, where I turn left and she's by my right, where we don't suffocate each other and realize how easy and right everything feels about cooking together. Even if it doesn't seem as a big deal now, I know that it is. We work together, we complement each other, we understand one another.

We eat dinner in a comfortable silence where I can't take my eyes off of her or follow the line of her jaw with my eyes, the way her muscles clench every time she moves her arms and I can't wait to have her hands on me one more time.

An irrational need washes over me all of the sudden and a desire cloud blurs my mind when her eyes meet mine. I want her, need her, _now_.

She's about to pick up the plates from the table when I take her hands and pull her towards me. She laughs but doesn't fight me, she kisses when I kiss her.

"Wow"

"I need you" I husk out, out shinning her amazement. As I push her towards the wall she studies me, her hands on my waist and her eyes completely focused on me and then I notice how she starts to _react_ to my touch.

I know how dirty and cheap it sounds but I love the reaction I have on her, how her body reacts at my mere voice and needs, I love how she makes me feel and the reaction that she provoke on me as well.

She kisses me and for a moment I forget everything and can only think about the taste and texture of her lips.

When we pull back I follow her towards the living room, when we settle on the large couch I realize what her intention is and I stop her before she pushes me to lay on it.

"Our room" her lips are already attached on my neck and even as I say the words I feel myself losing control.

"Couch will do" she husks back already slipping between my legs, her mouth sending a burning sensation through my entire body.

"You parents can come in" I take off her top as she unzips my shorts. I help her taking them off.

"Visiting grandma, they'll be back tomorrow night" and she's kissing me again, this time I let her take control as she pushes our hips incredibly closer, my damp panties rub against her boxers and I want everything off.

"Rach" I moan her name, pleadingly asking her to hurry things up.

"I got it, baby" she takes off her bra and her boxers but I'm not giving a chance to appreciate her body before she's back and taking off my top and then my panties.

I'm too wet and more than ready to have her inside of me, my entire body shakes with anticipation and as her lips kiss the column of my neck I arch my body into hers, searching and needing to feel that skin to skin contact that I can't seem to get enough.

I scratch her back as her hands move between our bodies until she's cupping my breasts and starts to tease my nipples with her soft fingers. I moan again, louder this time but she's quick to kiss me and slip between my legs for the second time.

I can feel her rubbing and slipping between me and the sensation drives me crazy with want, I can't take the teasing, not when I feel like I might explode even before she's in.

"God, you're so beautiful" she husks as I push her back, confusion is quick to claim her features while I think when I actually decided what I'm about to do but focus on the sole idea that I want to do it nonetheless.

"Whatcha doing, baby?" she's breathless and probably as desperate as I am, maybe even more if her erection is any sign of it.

"I want to try something"

"You're not going to…"

"Yes" I cut her off as I kneel before her and run my hands on her thighs and inner thighs before grabbing a hold of exactly what I want to taste tonight.

"Oh my God" she grips the couch and takes a deep breath, she tenses up as I get used to the feeling of having her in my hands and when I pump her up her breath hitches and she stops breathing, her eyes wide now staring at me.

"Baby, you don't have to do this, this is not something that I expect from you, ever"

"I love you" and that is exactly why I feel comfortable doing it. I don't say it but I know it's true, I would never do this with anyone else.

"I mean it, I love you too"

"I want to" I let go and pull her down to kiss her, trying to tell her with every nip of my lips that I love her entirely, every single part of her and this will be just another way to grow more intimate with each other.

When I pull back she nods and tries to relax as my hands go back to her aroused penis. It amazes the way I can't fully close my fists on it, the softness and warmth of it.

She moans, she can't help to lose her breath and grow impatient as I pump her up and down, slowly, carefully, and lovingly.

"My God, Quinn!" the groan comes out from deep within her throat and I move my hands a bit faster, marveling at her reaction and how big of a turn on the entire experience actually is for me as well.

Wetness drips down my thighs at this point, while I feel myself pulsating with need but I push through it and feel Rachel's hands gripping my hair as I take her in my mouth without much preamble.

She's shattering around me, I'm driving her insane, I'm doing this to her and the knowledge is so extremely overpowering that I don't want to ever stop making her feel this way.

I use my hands, my tongue, my teeth and even my throat at one point, all the while pushing my own desperation to the back of my head, even if I feel like I'm about to come at any moment now.

"I'm about to burst, I need you now" she says in a desperate tone but I don't pull back, if it's possible I increase my pace and get closer to her body, my forehead coming to rest on her stomach now as she lifts her hips to meet my eager mouth.

Her moans, her trembles, her desperation send me over the edge on my own and I moan, realizing that the vibrations of it it's what sends my girlfriend over the edge as well.

She doesn't come inside of my mouth, she is fast enough to pull out and come over the living room floor and I almost feel disappointed but as she pulls me to the couch and kisses me softly I forget about it, there will be plenty of opportunities to try whatever we want to try.

"You're amazing, you're wonderful. I love you, I love you, I love you" every word is accentuated with a kiss on my lips.

We cuddle and for a moment I'm content to just lay here with her arms wrapped around me, my head resting on her shoulder but her thigh comes in contact with my center and it's enough to remind me of my still unfulfilled needs.

"You are so wet"

"I feel about to explode"

"Not without me."

She's on top of me in a blink, her fingers tracing my lower lips and her mouth full with my right nipple.

"Rachel!" she pushes the tip of two fingers inside, rubbing my engorged clit on the process and turning me into a mess of moan and curses.

"You are the sexiest girl I've ever seen and you're all mine" she whispers, lifting my left leg and setting it behind her back.

"All yours, Rachel" I whine.

"Good things come for those who wait"

"Don't tease me"

"I love you" and with that phrase she slips inside of me, the air leaves my body and my insides clamp around her. I forgot how she felt inside of me, how filled she makes me feel, how she rips me in the most delicious way there is.

She groans something close to 'so tight' in my ear before she's kissing me again and granting me a couple of seconds to assimilate the feeling of her inside of me.

My inner thighs hurt in a pleasant way as I wrap my right leg around her as well and she slips deeper within me. She moves slowly at first, building a tempo that works for the both of us, her eyes lock with mine and I bring my hands to take the hair out of her face and keep her there.

I feel everything, my heart swells with so many feelings all at once and her I feel like drowning in her eyes because I can see everything, know everything by just the way she looks at me.

"I love you" she breaths out as her pace increases, my breath hitches and the couch starts to rock along with us, my pelvis feels like it's being punished and for some strange and probably morbid reason I love that I'm going to feel the results of her assault tonight for days to come.

The sound of our skin clapping is quickly becoming harder, faster and I can almost feel myself falling, crashing, and tearing me apart.

Our lips clash together, I hug her as tight as I can as she becomes uncoordinated, brutal and all the more pleasant for my body.

My vision becomes blurry, the pleasure too much for me to handle, my body trembles, I clung to her and acknowledge the fact that she is still thrusting, still trying to finish. She whispers that she loves me over and over again in my ear before I feel her tensing up above me and the foreign feeling of being filled with her essence from within.

Sleep is too heavy, I can barely register the fact that she pulls out of me and snuggles me in before I'm sleep.

…

I hear Rachel's call distantly, I don't feel like waking up yet but she's not quitting either. A dull ache washes over me, making me shiver at the memory of our love making just a few hours ago.

"Baby?" Rachel's voice is soft, her lips against my bare shoulder feel safe, loving.

"Quinn? Baby? Pumpkin pie? Sweetheart? Love?" she's giggling by the time her lips kiss the corner of mine and I can't help to smile as well.

"I knew you were lots of things but cheesy? Come on" she laughs into our kiss.

"The things you do to me, you see? You're no good for me"

"I beg to differ"

"I beg you to go upstairs, please"

"But we're comfy and warm, and so very close. I want to stay right here with you" I hug her close as she takes a deep breath and kisses my shoulder one more time.

"I have no doubt that you're very comfy, warmth and everything but my butt is hanging in the air and I stopped feeling my cheeks an hour ago. I'm freezing, not good."

I wrapped my leg around her and true to her word, her back side is freezing cold. We both laugh at the same time that she lets out a relieved sigh.

"You could have pulled the blanket"

"The one that you are still hugging, you mean?"

"Don't be such a baby" I untangle the blanket and cover her as well with it. She rolls her eyes but I kiss her over and over again as I rub my hands on her back and butt, warming her up.

She hums her satisfaction with my actions and we fall into a comfortable silence where all that can be heard is our synchronized breathing.

"I was thinking about what my dad said this morning" she breaks the silence and pulls back a little so she can be facing me, I tuck her hair behind her ears and hold her there, encouraging her to keep eye contact.

"About the job in his office?"

"Yes. He was right about saving the money, you know? We should start counting everything we have. I have some left from the classes but it won't be enough once she arrives" her hand goes to rest on my belly.

"Maybe I could look for something as well, I saw an add about K-mart needing cashiers, maybe I can check into that later this week"

"No, you don't have to"

"You don't have to be the only one working"

"And I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I would be just a lot more comfortable with you home while you're pregnant, after the baby comes I will gladly revisit this conversation, please"

"I don't want you carrying all the responsibility"

"By just saying that I know that you really mean it but we have my parents support, it's not really necessary for you to work now"

"I don't want to be a burden"

"You're not, I love you and I will gladly do anything for our family. Don't worry."

It's unfair, everything about our situation is. We are sixteen, we shouldn't be having this conversation now, we shouldn't be worried about money and family business because we should be out there being kids and not having one at such a young age. It breaks my heart to know that my life is not the only one that took a drastic change in the past month or so.

"I wish it wasn't so hard"

"It won't always be this way, look at my parents for example"

"They really are the light at the end of this tunnel"

"We are not in a tunnel but if we were, yeah; they would be" she smiles and it's that half smirk, half innocent curl of lips that makes me love her so much more.

"I love you and you are amazing, you know that?" she chuckles but I can see the light blush tainting her cheeks with the compliment.

"Not really"

"You are"

"I love you Quinn and that's all I know" we kiss and there is something in this kiss, something besides the obvious need to be closer, together in every way that we can possible find, there is an unspoken promise that everything will be alright, that she'll be there no matter what.

"I love you too Rachel and I promise to wait with a wonderful dinner every night after a long day at work" and I can't help the smile that creeps on my face when I say that because I truly mean it and somehow I can't wait for that to happen, to start my life with her.

"And a kiss at the door?"

"Just a kiss?"

"Of course not."

We get up from the couch, the nakedness not a problem for either one of us, _that_ is the level of trust in our relationship. Feeling thirsty I go to the kitchen while she run to the bathroom.

As the first sip of water wets my mouth I realize how much I needed it. Seven months from now there will be another person in this house, our baby will be with us and I literally can't wait to have meet her, to hold her and learn all about her or him, either way I'm already in love with this little one.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel's arms slip around my waist as I set the glass down and her chin rests on my shoulder.

"Our family" her lips kiss my neck softly, teasingly.

"I can't wait to meet her or him"

"Me too" I move my head to the right, granting her more skin to kiss which she rapidly takes over.

It doesn't take much for her to get me on the same page, in fact my impatience grows so fast within me that I don't really think I can wait any longer.

I push her back but she's quick to lift me up and push me against the wall, the cold concrete feels rough against my back but the feeling is quickly lost as her lips attack my sensitive breast with swirls of her tongue and softs bites of her teeth.

"Rachel" I growl out, I'm so turned on that the same feeling makes me ache for her touch.

"I really love your baby hormones right now"

"And I will continue to love you if you give me what I want, _now_" her fingers tease me, spread me and feel me up before she kisses me hard. I hook my legs behind her back and I kiss her back just as passionately.

"God, you're so wet already" her hands are once again lifting me and before I have time to register she's inside of me.

I clung onto her back but she doesn't give me time to breathe. Her thrusting becomes incredibly fast, hard and she hits all the right places every single time.

It doesn't take me much to come undone in her arms and neither does she. Her body feels like dead weight as she pushes us against the wall to try to recover her breathing but I still hold her as tight as I can, wanting her as close as she can get.

"My God" she breathes out as my feet touch the ground.

"I can't even"

"I know" we smile shyly, which is the craziest after what we just did.

"I love you"

"I love you too baby, can we please go to bed now?" she asks breathing heavy, she's far more exhausted than I am it seems.

"Lets" she wraps her arms around my waist from behind and we walk upstairs and into our room, we lay on our bed, snuggling close as soon as we cover our bare bodies with the blankets and we fall sleep in each other's arms.

…

"What about… Brenda?" she asks and I consider the name for a while before shaking my head.

"Sounds like someone's grandma, don't you think?"

"Yeah, guess you're right"

"Sheryl"

"Nightclub striper" she actually laughs at that.

"Claire"

"The girl that always pulled my hair in primary school was named like that"

"Poor girl" I hit her stomach playfully and she kisses my forehead. We've been going through names since we woke up an hour ago, refusing to get out of bed, it's only nine something anyway of Sunday morning.

"What do you think of Sebastian?"

"I've always liked it for some strange reason"

"Me too. I used to tell my mom that I'd name my kid like that"

"I like it" I tell her and kiss her smiling lips once.

"Really?"

"One down then, we need a baby girl name"

"That was easy" she huffs and hugs me closer.

"Baby, we've been going for about an hour, easy is the last thing on my mind right now"

"Sorry" I bury my face in the crock of her neck as I squeeze her tight.

"I'm gonna ignore the fact that you just apologized for doing what we're doing, this has been the best Sunday of my life already," I wonder how the perfect words keep falling out of her mouth but I stay quiet and kiss her chin instead.

"What about Mia?"

"I like it, it's simple, sounds good in a child and a grown up woman and I would say it's been my favorite weekend as well" and the light pain between my legs will remind me of how great the weekend actually was for a couple of days to come.

"We could keep going" she smirks and I know exactly what she means.

"As much as I would love that, I think I need to rest for today" she smiles lovingly, hugging me tighter.

"Whatever you want babe"

"Don't you think is a little soon to be choosing names?" I ask her after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"No, not at all"

"Maybe we should be talking about the nursery" I tease her and she laughs.

"That's soon. How about we stick to the names for now and you give me a kiss"

"Maybe we should discuss doctor bills and new clothes for when I explode"

"Kiss me, kiss me" she tries to as I pull back as far as I can.

"Stop" I scream when I feel her fingers on my ribs. We laugh but she manages to bury her face in the crock of my neck, her hands still thanks to some miracle. When she pulls back and stares at me I can't help to trace the line of her jaw and lips with my fingers, she is so beautiful.

"Kiss me"

"Like you need to ask," we kiss slowly, calmly, pretending that we have all the time in the world to memorize each line of our lips and for the moment, we do. I'm kissing the girl I love and nothing can get better than that. She completes me and she's all I need.

…

_Life is fragile or maybe that's just a human perception. We can always choose the path we're about to walk, we can never see what's coming but we can definitely be smart about making decisions. _

_I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you again for your lovely reviews and suggestion on this piece, until next time. :)_


	16. Chapter 16

**Original plot still stands, just wanted to remind you. **

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**INVISIBLE**

**Rachel's POV**

I've never seen Quinn looking so depress as she has this week and the thought alone has put me down as well through it all. I know we agreed that she'd quit the cheerios by the end of the week and that's what has her in this mood, I just wish that I could do something to take away the hurt from her.

Ever since she told Coach Sylvester about her decision I can't seem to be able to make her smile and I understand her, I'm being as supportive as I can be because I know how much she loves cheerleading. I tried to take her out on a date but she refused, I bought her flowers and cooked dinner but that only got me a weak smile in return, I even invited Santana and Brittany to our house but they weren't much help either, nothing seems to take her mind off the fact that she is leaving the Cheerios by the end of the week.

Today we're going to the doctor to get the first look of our baby and I'm hoping that she wakes up a little happier than yesterday, I know that I can't wait to see out little one and that she feels the same way, so probably today will be better than yesterday.

She is peaceful in this moment and as she sleeps she looks just as beautiful as she does at any time of the day. I never thought I'd feel this way about someone, I never thought that I'd be capable of loving this way but she has shown me so many new things and I love her more for that.

Before, I never really let any real feelings surfaced the image that I had created of her in my mind, to my eyes she was always beautiful, from the moment I first saw her so many years ago to this very moment but I never allowed myself to think of her as more than a crush because somewhere inside of me I truly believed that I'd never get a chance with her. But I have learned so much about her and I can't believe how much I love to find new things about her personality and it's never really enough because I want to know everything, I want more.

She takes a deep breath in her sleep and turns her head around towards me. She's still sleep and her hair is spread on the pillow, her left hand close to her face and her right one resting on her belly where I'm almost positive that our baby is sleeping as well.

I smile at the thought of our baby and all the changes he or she is putting Quinn through. Just last night she told me how sensitive her breasts have become and even bras were starting to make her feel uncomfortable. I wish I could help, I wish some of those symptoms would pass onto me, specially the morning sicknesses that seem to be the hardest for her.

Softly, I push the hair away from her face, she stirs but doesn't wake up. How did I become the luckiest person in the world all of the sudden?

Sometimes it's hard to believe that she's with me, that she loves me and that she is having my baby. With my condition, I always tried to keep my expectations very low about a family of my own. I know that my parents and my brother had fought hard for me to love myself as much as they love me and I do, I'm content with who I am, with my body and the person that I am becoming but that doesn't mean that I can speak for the people around me.

I always thought that no one would want to marry me, let alone have my kids. At one point in my life I was okay with that, I chose to settle, I chose to avoid all type of relationships in order to evade the heartbreak that without a doubt would come but Quinn made me throw all that out of the window and I realized that I've just been waiting for the right person to start _feeling_ with.

She is the right person for me and I know that there won't be another in the future, it's her and only her for me.

I lean down and kiss her forehead as soft as I can manage. She is unreal; she is perfect to my eyes, no matter what she says or anybody for that matter.

I smile thinking about myself two months ago.

I used to resent Hudson for having Quinn and get to be all lovey with her wherever he wanted to but at the same time I remember how lame I thought that that was, having a girlfriend when there was no need to be exclusive with anyone as long as we're sixteen. How things have changed in such a short period of time!

I'm more than exclusive now, I am committed and have a family to look after and maybe the old me would have hated this situation but I love every minute that I get to spend with Quinn and planning our futures. I love to be tied down to one lady and I can't wait to start the rest of my life with her!

I know that we're young and most of the time things are going to be challenging. School, friends and even our own relationship will take second place when our baby arrives but I'm confident that we are strong enough to overcome the obstacles that might come. And even if last night I almost ended up sleeping in the guest room for touching her sensitive breasts, I know that she still loves me and I love her just as much.

I slide down the bed and come face to face with her small baby bump and I can't help to get giddy at watching the small bump where our little one sleeps.

She's wearing one of my old oversized t-shirts as a pajama and more than a sense of possession the image makes me very regretful. Not for our baby and not for her but because of the situation, because of how much pain I've caused her.

I'm with her as much as I can but I know that she's alone in some of those things and all I can do is offer support but I'll never actually get to feel what she feels. Her parents, Finn, her reputation slowly going down with the news spreading around and now with the Cheerios. It hurts to stand with my arms around her and not be able to take her pain away but I try and I will keep trying for as long as I need to.

I know that she doesn't talk about her parents but it doesn't take much to realize how bad it hurts her. She's told some stories about Russell and the way she sees him and feels about him leads me to believe that even if she accepted the way he is a long time ago, she always hoped for him to be a better man, a better dad.

I asked Santana if Quinn ever talks about what happened with her parents with her and she told me that Quinn hasn't say a word about it which means she's keeping it to herself and I don't like that, I wish she could trust either one of us to get that weight of her chest.

"Stop staring" her sleepy voice roars out, making me jump in our bed.

"Jesus!"

"Just Quinn"

"I thought you were sleep" she giggles as I kiss her cheek and interlace my fingers with hers on top of her belly.

"Good morning, baby" I peck her lips right before she yawns and cups my cheek. There is small content smile on her lips that warms my heart and I tell her how beautiful she looks.

"Good morning, baby"

"I love waking up to you everyday"

"We're meeting our baby today" she smiles and I kiss her. When I pull back we both have wide smiles and I finally get the confirmation that she is in a better mood today. I just hope that our baby is big enough to take her mind away from the Cheerios for the day.

"I can't wait to meet our baby."

She freezes, her brow furrows and I start panicking internally. What did I say? I peck her lips with caution and she reciprocates the kiss but barely. Maybe it's just a mood swing, although they usually don't come this early in the morning or at least I usually don't say anything stupid this early in the morning.

"What if…" she stops and closes her eyes, gathering her ideas.

"Tell me"

"What if it's not a girl?"

"Baby, I don't mind if it's a girl or a boy" I tell her and even though her eyes focus on me again, her frown is still in place, so I continue speaking.

"As long as our baby is born healthy I don't mind, I already love him or her more than anything and I can't wait to meet him or her"

"Are you being serious right now?" she smiles as the question leaves her lips and I kiss her again.

"Of course I am, I'd never lie to you"

"I don't care what it is either"

"I know baby, all that matter is that we love him"

"As long as he or she is healthy, right? Then it doesn't matter"

"It doesn't matter."

As her arms wrap around my neck I know where our next kiss will lead us. I've noticed how she has become more physical with me lately, and as much as I love being intimate with her I also know that her baby hormones are driving her insane with want.

I read on line that some women have this kind of reaction when pregnant, their hormones mess with their libido and they need release as soon as the feeling hits or else they'll be on a low mood for the entire day. We don't have that problem.

I kiss her just as fervently, my hands already slipping under the sleeping shirt where I can caress her soft skin and feel her tremble under my touch. She moans as I slip my tongue inside her mouth and my hands grip her hips, pulling her closer to me.

Her legs trap me in between them as I thrust my hips against her to tease her and I'm rewarded with a throaty moan of pleasure and a bite on my lower lip. God! I love her and I love her body with my being. I could kiss her for hours and still not get enough.

"Rachel, I need you"

"I'm right here" her nails dig on the back of my neck as I kiss her one last time before deposing of our clothes and throw them to the floor. I still need a moment to take in everything that she is and I watch her.

She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and that beauty only intensifies when there are no layers of clothing covering her glorious body. She is unreal, perfect and mine.

"I love you" she blushes at hearing my words and as I run my hands on her torso she shudders and takes a deep breath as her chest rises impossibly high and her hands grip my arms showing me her desperation.

I kiss her navel, soft feather kisses as I make my way up her body, worshiping her, telling her how much I love and respect her body with each press of my lips.

Her breath is erratic, her body is begging me at this point but I take my time, I kiss every inch of skin available and she lets me. I don't touch her boobs and I don't try either. I finally get rid of my suffocating boxers and sigh in relief when they're no longer holding me in.

"So eager," she mocks after watching down between our bodies. I don't answer her, especially because she's right. I'm always eager when it comes to her and my body is no longer afraid to show her exactly how much I want her all the time.

I kiss her and thrust against her cotton covered center as our lips meld together and her hands grip my hair. I'm careful not to press my upper body on hers and then I trail kisses down her jawline and down her neck.

I lick her nipples with care and her response is much more than what I was expecting. She moans, harder than I've ever heard her do so and her breath becomes even more erratic which tells me that more than painful, her boobs are really sensitive to the touch.

She pulls me up and kisses me with a passion that I still find amazing on her as I push her panties down her hips because I may be as impatient and desperate as she is right now.

"Jesus Quinn!" I gasp at the wetness I find between her legs as I grown myself impatient to be inside of her. She kicks her panties off and pushes me down to lay on the mattress as she straddles me and places her hands on my shoulders for support.

We would usually take more time for foreplay but there is something lingering in the air this morning, something that tells me that I shouldn't drag this on any longer

"I need you inside, I need you inside right now" by the way her brow is furrowed as she rubs herself on top of me I can tell that she's on the edge and that sends another wave of desperation through me.

"Come here" I grab a hold of her hips and lift her up a little, she quickly gets the cue and positions me where we both need it.

As soon as her hips lower down we hiss in unison at the sensation of us being connected in the most intimate of ways. She stops, head thrown back, hands squeezing mine as I give her support, chest heaving. She is incredibly sexy and everything a woman should be.

I wait until I watch her smile in utter satisfaction and release my hands from her dead like grip to move my hips upwards but just barely.

"Mmmm" she hums and looks down, her eyes are closed, that dreamy smile adorns her lips as a blush covers her face, neck and chest.

"You are beautiful" she opens her eyes at hearing my voice and for a single moment as she studies me with her bright eyes I realize –and not for the first time- that my traitor heart had long gone passed to belong to her and I'm just the blood source that keeps it pumping and living so it can keep loving her.

"You are beautiful" she repeats my words and then she makes love to me with the same fervor that I make love to her.

We push each other towards maddening pleasure and once we're spend and completely satisfied we stop to come back to the world and grant air to our agonizing lungs.

I hold her, kiss her and cover our bodies with the blankets. There's no need for words, we don't have to say it out loud, we know this time was different, deeper and the best experience so far.

I hold her tight, her head nuzzled under my chin, our legs interlaced and her left arm around my waist. I kiss her temple and breathe her in. After a couple of minutes I feel her more than hear giggling.

"I think you broke me" she laughs, a full laugh now.

"You still going?"

"Aftershocks that seem endless" this time we both laugh as she bites her lower lip. I'm about to kiss her when a loud knock on our door interrupt us.

"Mom says breakfast is ready. Kitchen. Now!" Puck screams from the other side of the door.

"Totally forgot it's Wednesday" I don't want to wake up, I don't want to leave bed and be away from Quinn for an entire morning but it's a school day. When I look at my girlfriend she's smiling at me as her hand rests on the side of my neck. The look on her face entrances me.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Tell me"

"I just love you so much, I want you to always remember that"

"I love you too" her hand in now gripping my neck as we kiss and for some reason I feel the air changing, a weight settles on my chest for no reason.

"What's going on?" I ask because her face also turns serious, like she can feel what I'm feeling right now.

"Nothing, nothing. I just love you so much that sometimes it feels too good to have you loving me back"

"I'm lucky to have you in my life"

"Don't ever hurt me, please" and the petition coming out of nowhere breaks my heart and I quickly hug her tighter to me.

"I'll never hurt you intentionally, Quinn. This, I promise you."

As we move around, taking showers, dressing and getting ready to go to school I can't seem to shake the feeling that something big is coming or the emptiness that seem to eat my insides at a deadly slow pace.

…

Finally the last bell of the day rings. I ignore Puck calling my name as I run out of the classroom room to my locker. I haven't seen Quinn since lunch and there is a nagging loud voice in the back of my head that keeps yelling at me that I need to be with her, I need to see her and it's not the normal longing that I've become used to feel. No, this feels stronger, more serious, like she needs me and I need her to be alright. I need to see that she's alright.

Because it's the second week of November and the winter is making it's presence known in Lima, Coach Sylvester is holding practice in the Gym from now on, so that's where I run.

_Bon Jovi's_ voice singing _It's my life_ resounds inside my backpack, I don't stop to pull out my phone but that doesn't stop whoever is calling me from trying. Damn it! I've never realize how far the Gym is!

When I get to the Gym I stand for a second looking at the doors. I want to shake this feeling, I want to breathe with ease but I can't.

I push the doors open and instantly become dizzy.

"Call 911!"

"They're on their way"

"We should do something to stop the bleeding!"

"Stand back! Give her room to breathe!"

Even before I step fully inside I know who is laying on the ground in the middle of all the stressed cheerleaders and my heart breaks into a million pieces.

"Where are the paramedics!" Santana's desperate voice is the only thing that seems real as I run closer and push my way through until I'm on knees and taking my unconscious girlfriend from Santana's arms.

I try to ignore the pool of blood between Quinn's legs as I caress her face and beg her to wake up. She doesn't and Santana's sobs grow incredibly loud.

"Baby, please" she resembles a rag doll, her face is pale and her body doesn't seem to weight an ounce in my arms. She's breathing though and I kiss her forehead as I try with desperation to not look at the blood. I don't want to think about it, not right now.

"I'm so sorry Rachel" Santana cries while Brittany tries to hold her back although she can't seem to hold back her own tears as well. My wondering eyes betray me and wander down, I see the blood. That's our baby, our little one's source of life and it's gone.

A sob rips through me and once it starts I can't stop it. I'm broken, a part of me is gone and I'll never get the chance to know him or her.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, she just felt and then… I'm so sorry Quinn. I'm sorry" Santana's state is not far from mine and I need to be strong.

"Baby? Baby, please" I shake her body but she doesn't wake up, doesn't look at me and I need her to be okay. I can't lose her as well.

"They're here!"

"Stay out of the way, please" someone grabs my arms but I don't let go.

"Miss, move so we can tend the girl" the same hands pull me harder and I fight against it.

"I just need her to be okay" finally two more hands pull me back as well and they don't let me go as I watch three paramedics kneel beside my girlfriend.

"She's unconscious, it looks like a miscarriage, we have to take her in now" they carry her to a stretcher and are about to leave when I manage to break from the grasp of Sue Sylvester and Will Schuester.

When they try to get to me I'm already by Quinn's side and holding her hand. She looks exactly the same way she looked this morning at down, peaceful.

I climb into the back of the ambulance with the rare sense that I'm dreaming and none of this is happening.

…

**I know that a lot of you are reading this fic for the first time and if this broke your heart I'm very sorry but this was the original plot. I'll try to post the next chapter a little sooner than what this one took. **


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**NOT THAT STRONG?**

**Rachel's POV**

I walk with my mom inside a bathroom; I notice the tears falling down her cheeks but I can barely think, barely breathe. I don't say anything as she opens the faucet and taking my hands she places them under the water where she washes the dried blood off of them in silence.

I let out a muffled sob but don't take my hands away from hers. This blood, this blood is all I'll ever get and a part of me wants to stop my mom from washing it but I stay silent and Quinn.

I don't even know how she'll react, how she'll feel.

"I'm here" my mom's voice, although broken is strong, confident. "You are not alone, I'm here."

We go back to the waiting room where my brother looks just as beat as I do. Doctor Long told us about the D&C process that they'll be performing just to be sure that everything is removed from Quinn's uterus and avoid infections in the future. They needed her parents' consent but after we informed him that she's been living with us my mom had to sign a couple of papers for my girlfriend to get the procedure done.

We should be watching our little one in a monitor right now, not waiting until a D&C is finished! How did things get so messed up?!

And now there's nothing to hope for, nothing to wait for, nothing to be exited for. Now all that's left is hurt and try.

My mom's hand on my back is comforting, my father is on his way from the office and my twin is silently sharing tears for me, for us. Santana and Brittany are sitting in front of us as they cry, Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schuester are beside them looking as down as they can be.

It doesn't help, really.

Santana's sobs only make me feel guilty that she blames herself when I'm sure it wasn't her fault. Coach apologized profoundly saying that it was a routine that they've practiced so many times in the past. It was supposed to be perfect.

After I don't know how long my father arrives and kisses my mom's temple before he hugs me tight and whispers that he's got my back in my ear. His embrace helps, it helps a lot.

My parents talk for a couple of minutes before Puck and my dad leave to retrieve some coffee and they take Brittany and Santana with them.

I follow their retrieving silhouettes with my eyes, I know they're moving and that I'm sitting in a waiting room in Lima Memorial's Hospital while my girlfriend is going through a minor surgery but nothing feels real or tangible. Maybe I'm dreaming. How I wish I was dreaming right now.

"Rachel?" I look at my mother and see her holding my hand but I can barely feel her touch. I'm out of place, nothing feels right. None of this should be happening.

"Honey, I need you to listen to me" I look up. Her eyes are red, there are tear stains on her cheeks and she's wearing her favorite winter sweater. She probably had it on when I called home; she likes to wear it to watch television this time of the year.

"Oh, honey" her voice cracks and she hugs me, I hug her too and rest my cheek on her arm as she kisses my temple and runs her hands on my hair. I want to break down; I _should_ break down in her arms. It's safe, she's safe and she'd say the right things but for some reason I just stare and wait.

"I need you to be strong for Quinn and I'll be strong for you, can you do that, honey?" I pull back and watch my mother.

I nod and she kisses my forehead before holding my hands and swallow hard, audibly so. My stomach feels empty but I'm no hungry and it's not the same sensation, it's hallow. I feel hallow. I have a knot in my throat and everything feels numbed.

"I know is a lot to ask but she is going to need you. She loves you, I've seen it"

"I love her" I'm surprised to hear my own voice and clear my throat right after I speak. I can be strong, I will be strong for her. I love her and that's all I know right now.

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

"She's going to resent me"

"We can't know how she'll feel; she already loved that baby more than her own life"

"I love the baby too"

"I know sweetheart, that's why you have to be strong"

"I know mom."

My mom is right and even if she's not saying it, I know that I wasn't the one carrying the baby and one thing is for sure. Quinn will be devastated.

"I'm here, you can count on me" I kiss her cheek in response and hug her as tight as I can.

…

They allow visitors but everyone agrees that I should go alone. My mom walks me to the door and then she steps aside. She's stopped crying but she's barely holding it in.

I push the door open.

There is a small bed in the middle of the room where my girlfriend is laying and looking opposite of me. She blinks but doesn't turn around to see who is closing the door. There are no machines attached to her body, just a serum on her right arm and a white blanket covering her spent body.

As I walk closer the bed I realized that she hasn't noticed someone walking in. She's out of place. We both are.

My heart breaks when I notice her tears as I walk around the bed. I want to cry with her, I want to hug her tight and just cry with her but I have to be strong, so I reach for her hand and she locks eyes with me.

I have never seen that look on her face and it shatters me to the bone.

"She's gone" she sobs and squeezes my hand. Tears fall faster down the side of her face. Her body shakes as I climb into the bed and pull her to me, hugging her. I stick my arm under her head and she buries her face in my neck, her hands squeeze my shirt as she cries.

She groans and at one point it's impossible to keep my tears at bay when she lets out a muffled yell that rips me to pieces. I hug her and whisper in her ear that I'm here, that I love her, over and over again.

I'm scared when she falls silent after a couple of minutes but she's sleep. I kiss her forehead and promise her in the silence of the room that I'll do anything to make her happy again.

…

I wake up when she jumps in the bed and looks frantically around the room as I rub off the sleep off of eyes.

"Did you hear that?" she whispers. her voice sounding weak and raspy.

"Hear what?"

"A baby was crying" tears are falling down her cheeks again and when she tries to get out of the bed I barely stop her.

"You have to stay in bed"

"It was right here, I could hear the baby right here next to me"

"It was just a dream."

She stares at me and then rubs off her face with anger. She pushes me off and I have to get up before I fall backwards.

"It wasn't!"

"It was a dream Quinn, I was here the entire time and there was no baby around" she slaps my hand away and I can't help the hurt that shoots through me. Not because of the slap but the rejection.

"Don't touch me"

"Quinn please, it was just a dream" I try but she slaps my hand away again.

"I know, damn it, I know!" she burst into tears again. "Don't come near me"

"Quinn, don't do this."

She sobs and before I try to get closer for a second time Judy Fabray pushes the door open and walks inside the room.

"Oh, Quinnie" she pushes me aside and opens her arms for Quinn while I can barely register what's going on and where did she come from?

"Mommy" and my girlfriend cries harder than before in her arms.

My mother walks inside the room as well and signals me that she couldn't do anything to stop the lady. I clench my fists on my sides at the sight before me.

This woman hasn't been in Quinn's life for the last couple of weeks, denied her protection and support through the most difficult time of her life and now she is the one with Quinn in her arms?

"You're coming home with me" hearing those words sure make me react. She has no right!

"What?" my mom places a soothing hand on my shoulder as I step closer.

"I guess you're Rachel" Judy Fabray turns around to face me, her hands still holding Quinn's as my girlfriend lays on the bed and looks away from me.

"Quinn is not going back to where Russell is, I won't let her"

"She needs her mom right now"

"She needed her mom weeks ago when you let that piece of shit throw her out of her house!"

"Rachel!" my mom steps in and pushes me back.

"I'm sorry mom" the apology is for my mother only, not for Judy. "Do you know how bad you've treaded Quinn? Do you know how much she's needed you in the last couple of weeks? Not that she's mentioned it of course but she has and where were you?"

"I can't apologize enough about what I did or didn't do"

"No, you can't. You will never be the mother she needed you to be and now you come in here saying that you're taking her home with you, to what kind of home?"

She's staring at me and that's how I see the tears when they erupt from her hazel eyes and even though it pains me to cause her pain, it enrages me to no end that she didn't stand up for Quinn when she needed to.

"Russell no longer lives in my house, we're getting a divorce."

Her words hang in the air as everybody tries to process them. Quinn's face emerges from under the sheet and stares at her mother in surprise. I recognize the look in her eyes this time and I see hope, for what? I don't know.

"What happened?" Quinn asks softly. She's still not looking at me.

"I'll tell you everything sweetheart. I'll tell you everything at home. Come home and let me be there for you, we can deal with this together"

"Ok" Quinn whispers her answer and anger rises within me instantly.

"What?"

"Rachel"

"Quinn is still my daughter."

I can't take my eyes away from Quinn as our mothers talk to me. I try to make eye contact but she avoids it and I can't, I just can't have her gone. Not like this, not when she needs me, damn it! I know that she needs me as much as I need her now.

"You can't" I speak but all the acknowledgment that I get is a deep breath from her part. "Quinn, you can't leave like this."

"Rachel, honey? Why don't you come outside with me for one moment?"

"Quinn"

"Rachel, come on"

"No" I shake my mother's hand away and step forward towards the bed where Quinn is still avoiding looking at me.

"I think we could use some privacy" I look at Judy and shake my head at her. Privacy is the last thing that I want to give Quinn right now.

"I'm not going anywhere" I speak and she looks away, "did you hear me?" I lower my head, looking for Quinn's eyes until she doesn't have any other option but to look at me and I look straight into her eyes as she keeps crying.

"I'm not going anywhere without you. I'm not leaving you alone even if you push me away. So ignore me all you want, slap my hands as many times as you wish, don't talk to me but I'm not going anywhere without you."

She doesn't look up, she doesn't say a word but she heard me and I meant every single word I just said.

"I can't see you right now" she finally says and her voice makes me ache all over because I feel her pain and I can't stand the thought of her being this hurt.

"Well, I guess we'll have to figure something out for that"

"No, please"

"I'm not leaving you alone, damn it! I'm not!"

"I don't want you here!" her anger makes me step back for a second. I wish I could just ignore my own feelings but I can't and it hurts to hear those words coming from her.

"Please" her eyes lock with mine in a desperate plea, "leave, Rachel. Leave and don't come looking for me."

…

_Thank you for all the reviews and I'm sorry for the shared tears after that last chapter, I was right there with you all. Thank you for the support._

_For the angry reviewers__: There were lots of reviews revealing what happened in the story before the last chapter. The fic is tagged with _tragedy_ so even if you didn't know what was going to happen, you at least knew that this didn't have a very happy ending. That said, there's no reason to be rude, you can just easily stop reading and avoid it all together._

_Anyway, thank you for reading and 'till next time ;)_


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**NOTHING IS THAT SIMPLE**

**Rachel's POV**

I breathe in deeply and realize how much I was needing air, I breathe again.

I remember the day I found out Quinn was pregnant, how terrified I felt, how disappointed in myself for the pain I was bound to cause my parents with the news, how paralyzed I was because I didn't know what to do or what I was supposed to say to make it alright. I felt hopeless as Quinn cried in my arms that day in the school's empty hallway.

But I also remember how relieved I felt at the same time because Quinn didn't want to get rid of the baby, she wanted to keep it, have it and I realized that she needed support and I was willing to give her that. I was selfish and I thought about how lucky I was that she was determined to have my baby, I felt happy despised the odds.

She was helpless, desperate, confused and terrified but she made the choice to have the baby and I supported her, we fell in love while living together and planned a future that now seems broken because of what happened but nothing is that simple and _we are not_ that weak.

I can't leave because I just can't be without her in such a crucial moment in our lives, I can't give up because I haven't even started fighting yet, I can't be away from her simply because I have no other choice.

I won't give in, that's not a choice. She is my family and I will make sure that she continues being my family.

"Mom, would you give us a second please?" I don't look away from my girlfriend as I make the request even though she's giving me the most deadly glare ever.

"I don't think that…"

"Judy, please" I cut her off before she can say another word. A part of me knows that she finds it difficult to understand our relationship but she's going to have to work that out soon because I'm not going anywhere and she needs to understand that.

"Think before you speak, honey" my mom kisses my cheek and hugs me from behind before she follows Judy out of the room and closes the door for us.

The thing about Quinn is that she is not that hard to read once you get close to her and I got very close in the last couple of weeks. She is the most stubborn person I've ever met, always has the need to be right and never admits defeat. She pushes people away, not because she doesn't want them close but as a self-defense mechanism that she no doubt picked up from her father. But she is too sensitive, too fragile and too damn pride to ask for help when she needs it. She'd rather cry alone and deal with her pain by disguising it than ask for a shoulder to cry on.

"I love you"

"Don't think that _that_ stupid love confession will make me change my mind"

"That wasn't what I wanted. I just needed to tell you"

"You've told me before, I don't need to hear it now"

"I love you"

"Stop it" she says through greeted teeth and I can almost taste the venom in her words but I don't surrender nor will I ever.

"I love you and you love me"

"I don't, alright! I needed you!" her voice is broken, she's struggling to speak. She's lying.

"You love me and you need to be with me" she punches the mattress with her fists; she screams and throws the pillow at me. It's not hard to avoid the pillow, I catch it midair even and hear my mother hold Judy back outside.

"I don't want you near me, not now. I just want to be alone Rachel, is that so hard to get? Are you seriously that dumb?"

"I'm not going anywhere and you're not going with your mother anywhere either"

"I just want to be alone, didn't you hear me?"

"I heard you alright and I respect you but don't ask me to leave because I won't"

"Then show me respect and leave! Do as I ask you to do!"

"Don't push me away, you're wasting your time. I won't go anywhere"

"Just leave, please" she sobs, her stare begs me to leave and even if my heart demands me to do as she says, I won't. I won't let her push me away. I'll give her everything that she wants in a silver plate but I won't leave her alone when I know that I need to be by her side.

"I won't leave, there's nothing wrong with me staying with you"

"Everything is wrong if you stay! Don't you get it?" she must have read the confusion in my face because next she lets out a frustrated muffled yell. "I just lost my baby, everything is wrong!"

The way she looks at me, like I don't understand, like this is happening to her and only her enrages me.

"I lost my baby too but I don't think you've realized that, have you?"

She shakes her head and starts sobbing uncontrollably, her sobs rip my heart out and the pain is almost too physical to bear. I don't want to make her cry any more than she already has but I won't let go down this guilty party.

"I'm so sorry" I apologize as I walk closer to the bed, I'm still insecure about getting any closer but I seat on the edge of the mattress and hold her hands.

"No" she tries to pull away but I hold on tighter, "no, please. You should be yelling at me." I let go, her words catching me by surprise. There's something that I'm not catching yet.

"Quinn, look at me" she refuses and closes her eyes when I lift her chin with my fingers.

"I can't" she sobs as I tuck her hair behind her ears. "I can't look at you"

"Why?"

"I need you to leave"

"You're not going through this alone and neither am I"

"I need to get used to the idea of being without you, I feel like I depend on you and I don't want to feel that way" her eyes are still close but I'm starting to understand what she's saying and I can't stand the thought of her blaming herself and wanting me to blame her as well.

"You can depend on me Quinn, I'm always going to be here, right here with you"

"Even when you realize that I killed our child?"

Her question hangs in the air as she opens her eyes and looks at me. For a moment I'm left speechless as I focus on the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You didn't kill anybody" my own voice breaks and I cup her face, forcing her to look at me but she starts to cry harder than before and I soon join her, my tears roll down my cheeks without permission.

"I killed her Rachel, you told me to quit and I didn't and now she's gone"

"Quinn" she pushes my hands away, she blames herself for something that she couldn't prevent.

"No! Just stop it! Stop it! Sooner or later you're gonna realize that what I'm saying is true and when that day comes you're gonna hate me like I'm hating myself right now, so leave. Leave now while I can still take it, leave."

She pushes me even harder, I stumble to the floor on my feet and look carefully at her.

"You have to stop doing that"

"Doing what exactly?" she's gripping the sheets in her hands as my own frustrations get the best out of me.

"Stop assuming things about me, stop assuming that I'm the deadbeat you always thought I was. Haven't I shown you that I'm not a fucking loser?"

"Still waiting for that realization to hit in actually" I ignore her comment.

"You thought I raped you, you accused me of such a thing when it was you who came onto me. I was a willing participant, I admit but I didn't deserve that accusation and you were completely wrong to make it. Then you thought I'd run for the hills when you told me about being pregnant and wasn't I the one that had your back when everything else went wrong?" I hate to throw these things on her face but it seems to me that she's forgetting or simply ignoring what we have, what we've built, what we could be together.

"You and that baby are the greatest things that ever happened to me, I love you both more than I love my own life and when you assume that I'm just going to leave you, I have to wonder about your sanity. I don't know what you think Quinn but I don't go around saying 'I love you' to every single person that I find on the streets." I take a deep breath as she tries to breathe through her wrecking sobs.

"I love you and I'm here for you, and I still want to be with you through every step of the way, do you hear me?"

"I killed our baby" she hiccups and I wonder if she even listened to everything I just said.

"Stop saying that, you didn't kill anybody, what happened wasn't your fault"

"Please, let me go now, I won't be able to take it later on"

"I'm not leaving you, I'm not going anywhere if you're not next to me" it's impossible to hold back the tears as I hug her again.

"This shouldn't be happening" she cries in my shoulder as her hold gets stronger around me.

"I know, baby but we'll get through this. I promise"

"It hurts too much"

"I know, it hurts me too. I don't want to be away from you" I kiss her temple but that's when she pulls back again.

"I can't look at you" she cries, her voice small and tired.

"Please, I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself either, you didn't do anything wrong, this is something that was meant to be, you always say that God does things for a reason, right? Maybe there's a reason behind all of this. You just need to come home with me and we'll figure everything out. Together."

"You don't mean that. Deep down you know it was my fault, everybody knows it, I killed my child and you know it deep down, you know it."

It hits me like a brick on a wall. This is not something that I'm going to be able to fix easily. She's not going to get over this any time soon and because of that, neither will I but that realization just makes me want to try harder.

"Then I'll show you that I mean it, I'll stay with you and I'll keep saying it until you believe me, this isn't your fault, you didn't kill anybody and I love you with all my being Quinn, I love you and this situation has only make me realize how much I do so. I'm not going to give up until you believe me, I'm not going anywhere."

She squeezes my hands but doesn't look up and even her grip on my hand in weak, tired. She's spent.

"I don't deserve you" she whispers brokenly.

"You deserve the world and I'm going to try my best to give it to you, please let's just go back home."

"How can you not hate me?"

"I love you, I could never hate you"

"If I would've just done what you told me to do then she would be alive right now" as she cries I realize that she's far from over, maybe the tears had stopped rolling down her cheeks but her sobs are not ending any time soon and it breaks me. I feel so powerless.

"This could've happen anywhere, at any time. You didn't need to fall of the pyramid for it to happen, it just wasn't our time to be parents, this isn't your fault, Quinn. Please"

"It is!" she yells in my face I don't step back, even as Judy walks inside the room. I don't move from her side. "I'm moving back with my mom and you're not stopping me" she pushes my hands away again.

"I guess we're moving with your mom, then" I take a sit in the chair next to her bed and ignore the shocked expression on their faces.

…

_A couple of more chapters to go with this piece. Thank you so much for reading :)_


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**LITTLE LIFE SAVER **

I jump on the bed right along with Quinn.

I blink a couple of times and try to calm my racing heart as I reach out my hands and find her in the darkness of the room. I flick the lamp on the nightstand as her sobs fill the quiet room.

"Come here" I carry her to my lap and she clings to my shirt before wrapping her arms around my neck. She hides her face from me as she cries louder than before.

"I could hear her crying, she was crying"

"I'm right here, I love you. I love you. It was just a dream."

It's always the same dream, she hears a baby crying but she can't see it and she never finds it on the times that she runs through the hallways of our school.

I rock our bodies back and forth, my arms wrapped tightly around her body as well. While I may her biggest support right now, she is my anchor to sanity. I have to keep trying, for her.

It's been five days since we're in her house and things are still the same.

She's still pushing me away, trying with all her strength to make me leave and even if the thought has crossed my mind more than once over the last few days, I'm not going anywhere. I'm far from giving up on her.

Nothing is the same between us and I'm starting to wonder if things will ever go back to be like they used to. Probably not and it pains me to think about our future.

I'm trying as hard as I can. I try to talk to her but she either pretends not to listen or snaps telling me to shut up. Every moment that we're in the same room I feel like I'm walking on dangerous territory but I still try. I've already slept in the guest room twice anyway and I don't want to go back in there anymore. It seems like I can't sleep if she's not in my arms anymore.

So much has changed and even the little things don't seem so little anymore. She covers herself in a religious way now, I haven't even seen her wearing tops anymore and she always sends me out of the room when she wants to change clothes.

She keeps trying to make me leave the house and even though I've canceled all the lessons to the kids and I don't need to go school thanks to Coach Sylvester's connections, she still tries anyway. That was the first reason of why I slept in the guess room on the second night, because I told her that I don't need to go anywhere.

I kiss her temple as the tears stop and she pulls back, moves from my lap and sits on her side of the bed, her hair forming a curtain on the side of her face.

"Could you get me some water?" she asks me while I hand her the tissues box.

"Sure, I'll be right back."

I hear her moving around even before I'm out of the room completely. Tomorrow we have to go back to school and things are not okay yet, I don't know what else to do, she won't talk with anybody. My mom tried to get her to open up but it didn't work out, Judy is almost never here so she hasn't been much help, or help at all actually. Not even Santana has been able to get her to open up about what happened and it concerns me that she's keeping everything locked inside, that can't be healthy.

When I enter the room again she's sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at nowhere in particular. I watch her drink the water and can't ignore that bags under her eyes or how pale she looks, how tired but even like that, she's the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen.

I need her to talk to me, I have things that I want to share with her and only her but I can't do that because she simply won't talk to me.

"We should go back to sleep, we have school tomor…"

"Where is my book?" she cuts me off and stands up looking around.

"Quinn, let's go back to sleep"

"I want to read my book, where is it?"

"Quinn, please. Let's talk then, let's talk about anything"

"I don't want to talk."

She walks out of the room and even if her cold tone sent shivers down my back I still follow her. She goes inside the bathroom down the hallway. I wait for her on the door of our room.

When she comes out she rolls her eyes at me before walking inside the room giving me the cold shoulder, trying to make me feel like one of her minions in school. Only now her eye rolls and superiority attitude actually hurt me.

It wasn't this way before, when I didn't really know her I found her attitude kind of funny and even teased her about it on occasions but now that I know why she does it, it breaks me to see her pretending so much.

"We have to talk" she already has the book in her hands.

"I don't want to talk" she sits on her side of the bed and opens the book. I take a deep breath and count to three before I open my mouth again.

"We haven't talk about what happened and we're going back to school tomorrow, please."

She doesn't even bother with looking at me. I take another deep breath, count to five this time wondering where is the freaking rule book for this kind of situation because I need it and I need it desperately.

She doesn't look up, her eyes stay fixed on the pages even when we both know that she's not actually reading.

"I want to talk" I try again. I'm pushing but I feel like I need to because nothing else seems to be working.

"Quinn, let's talk"

"Go talk with your mother if you're so desperate for communication."

The jab is nothing new, it has been this way for the entire time that we've been here but its two am and every drop of patience has been drained from my body today already.

I take the book from her hands and even if I want to just throw the thing through the window, I place it down on the nightstand before getting under the covers myself.

"What do you think…"

"It's two in the morning. You don't want to talk? Fine, but we're going back to school tomorrow so we need to sleep."

I turn off the lights on both nightstands and get comfortable, I can feel her eyes burning a hole in my face but I try my best to remain calm.

Finally and after a couple of minutes she also lies on the bed after settling two pillows between our bodies.

I barely sleep.

…

She moves absently around the room, the silence no longer surprises me but at least she's doing more than just stare at the window this morning, she's getting ready for school.

I follow her as she walks away from her closet and sits in front of the vanity. I tie my converse with little attention as I watch her comb her long hair. She truly is a sight to behold, especially with what she's wearing this morning.

She's wearing tight dark jeans, brown flat boots and a plaid shirt with its first two buttons open. Her hair falls in waves around her shoulders, but she's decided to wear a thin brown bandana to prevent it from falling on her face, her make-up is light however her lip-gloss makes her lips look plump and red. I've never felt so attracted to her before and that alone is something new.

She picks up her bag and a cropped jacket from a near chair before facing me.

"I'll wait downstairs"

"Okay. Eat something, please."

She doesn't answer but I didn't actually expect her to anyway. I'll have to try harder to keep an eye on her while we're in school. She has lost a lot of weight and she didn't actually need to in the first place.

She's already in the car when I get there but she doesn't even notice me. She turns off the radio when I try to put some music on and avoids every attempt at conversation that I try to initiate.

"I talked with Mrs. Trevor and she wouldn't mind if Tatiana comes to your house for her lessons this week" her eyes are still trained on the window, ignoring me.

"Quinn, I need to know if it's okay for Tatiana to come this week"

"How old is she?" at first I think she might haven't said anything but then her eyes look for mine.

"Oh, she's… she's eleven but she's a darling. You'll like her" I smile but she doesn't return the smile, she simply looks away to window again.

"I don't mind if she comes. Mom is never home so I don't think it'll be a problem."

She goes back to ignore me after giving me the green light to give my guitar lessons but I'm not complaining. She spoke with me, we agreed on something and I can't help to feel like I just achieved one thing today.

As soon as I park the car on the parking lot she's out of the car. I pick up my bag, turn on my phone and lock the car before following her inside.

A few friends come up to me and tell me how much they're sorry for what happened but I barely listen trying to find Quinn among the crowded hallway. I can feel all eyes on me and when I finally find Quinn at her locker, all eyes are on us.

Nobody bothers with being subtle with their stares, everyone is looking at us, probably expecting us to break down crying maybe or anything to give them the gossip that they want on us.

I walk beside Quinn to her first class, even if she's ignoring, I won't leave her alone.

I notice how everyone looks at her, the way their eyes follow every single curve of her body, the way everyone seems to want to be them instead of me walking by her side and I realize that even without her Cheerios uniform, my girlfriend still rules this school.

…

We eat lunch in the auditorium and as soon as the final bells rings we're on our way home. She didn't talk with Santana and the brunette was a little more than heartbroken when she came to me with tears in her eyes on fifth period.

"Santana was worried" I take a turn as she looks at me.

"When did you talk to her?"

"We have Spanish together"

"Don't talk with my friends about me" if I didn't know any better I'd dare to say that her tone is a jealous one.

"I wasn't, she just. She's worried, you should talk to her"

"Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I'll talk to her when I'm ready, she knows me."

As I park the car in the house I notice how she's in no hurry to walk out this time. She's tired, exhausted even.

My phone beeps; I recognize the text tone but don't retrieve my phone from my pocket as we get inside the house. One text after another come in but I don't check them.

She goes straight to her bedroom while I look for something to eat in the kitchen. I retrieve a couple of fruits from the fridge and cut them into pieces and in two bowls just in time when she comes back down with her books in her hands and settles on the dining table to start with her homework I have the snack ready.

"Here" I place the bowl in front of her but she pushes it away.

"Not hungry."

If she had had a decent lunch I wouldn't mind letting her skip this but she didn't so I take the books from her hands and place the bowl in front of her again.

"Eat" I don't intent my voice to come out so harsh but when it does I can't take it back and instead I just wait for her reaction.

We eat in silence, do our homework in silence and when Mrs. Trevor drops Tatiana off for her guitar lessons, Quinn leaves the living and locks herself in her room.

It's amazing how people reach out to you when tragedy surrounds your life. Maybe our lost wasn't meant for people to find out like this but we're in high school and the cheerleaders were the first to know, rumors spread pretty fast with the hit of a button and a status changes on facebook pages nowadays.

Days go by, nothing changes at home or even school. Quinn still ignores me, talks to me when it's absolutely necessary and doesn't return any of Santana's calls or texts.

My mom stops by every night, checks on us, talks to Quinn for five minutes where the conversation if mostly one sided but she doesn't give up and neither do I. Judy is not much help really, we don't see her in the day and at night when she returns home we're already in bed so we just hear her take a shower and lock herself in her room.

I always thought I didn't have any friends, Puck was my best friend and the only guy I've ever trusted but lately I've realized that I just haven't been paying attention. I admit that most of those friends are girls that I might have been interested in at some point but they are friends nonetheless and I'm glad that there are people out there that actually care and want to talk.

The days become shorter, we have fell into a sedentary routine where we don't communicate, don't reach out, don't touch and lately don't even look. The nights become larger, at least for me since I can't sleep thinking about what I'm doing wrong and what I could be doing to make everything better, only, nothing works and even though I want to keep trying I'm starting to lose hope that something will ever work for us.

Tatiana and Amy come by every day from five to seven and even though it's been _four weeks_ that they've been coming here their mothers seem to be okay with the arrangement.

"Are you ready?"

"You'll play with me though, right?" Tatiana lets out a deep breath and stretches her fingers before positioning them on the guitar.

"I got your back"

"And I got yours" I wink and she smiles. She has a quick wit for an eleven year old and that makes me like her so much more. She is precious and so dedicated that it literally inspires me to be better every time I see her play. She is tiny though and ever since she got a haircut she's been rocking the messy style. It suits her, she'll be a rock star someday or maybe the President of the country, who knows? This kid can do anything!

"Alright, alright. I got this, right? I got this"

"You do, we've practiced so many times before. You got this and I'm right here with you."

She nods and looks at the camera that we've installed with a tripod in front of us. She's giving her mom a surprise video tape with a song played and singed by her. She is a nervous wreck right now but I know that as soon as the music starts to flow and she begins to sing, those nerves will disappear. She pushes the button on the camera and the red light turns on.

And she begins strumming the strings at the same time she opens her mouth to sing. Her timing is perfect, her fingers move effortlessly between the strings and her mother I'm sure, will love her song choice. Her nerves are gone immediately.

_For all the times you stand by me_

_For all the truth that you make me see_

_For all the joy you bring to my life_

_For all the wrong that you make right_

_For every dream you make come true_

_For all the love I find in you_

_I'll be forever thankful_

_You're the one who holds me up_

_Never let me fall_

_You're the one who sees me through_

_Through it all_

As Tatiana holds the note I look up the stairs and find Quinn sitting on the last one, her back resting against the wall as she stares at me. I see the tears running down her cheeks and instantly want to run to her but I stop myself and instead I look right back at her.

If I could only find a way, a way to show her how much she means to me, how much I love her and how I could never leave her side because I can't think of a life without her.

_You are my strength when I am weak_

_You are my voice when I can't speak_

_You are my eyes when I can't see_

_You see the best that is in me_

_You lift me up when I can't reach_

_You give me faith 'cause you believe_

_I'm everything I am_

_Because you love me_

As I join Tatiana in the song I don't take my eyes away from Quinn. I sing to her, I play for her, damn it! I live for her!

I want her to understand how she had changed me, how I'm a better person because of her, how much I'm grateful for her love and how bad I still want that future with her.

Tears keep running down her cheeks and I can barely see her lips moving and realize that she's singing with me and that the girl I love with all my heart is there, guarded behind those walls of coldness that for some reason she's put up with me.

As we play the last notes of the song and Quinn stands up to return to her room I'm left with hope. I love her but I need to be more patient, she loves me as much as I love her and if this separation it's been killing me then I know that it's been insufferable for her as well. I need to try harder.

…

_The song used here is 'Because you loved me by Celine Dion'. I'm glad you enjoyed that last chapter, two more chapters to go. Thank you for all your support and nice words. _

_Anon asking the sex of the baby__: They never found out the sex of the baby but a few chapters back they talked about it and played with the idea that they might be having a girl. _


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**Friends**

**Rachel's POV**

"Who is texting you?" I look up at hearing her angry tone but somehow I don't feel like giving her an answer. Three days ignoring me completely and suddenly she wants to know who is texting me? Not fair.

I text Claire back instead of looking at Quinn although I can feel her eyes shooting lasers at me. I open a new text and answer back quickly to Santana.

Lately it seems like she has an exclusive relationship with her books instead of with me, she always sits by the window with a book on her lap and loses herself in it. I guess she prefers to lose herself in those realities than live her own life right now and to an extend I understand, I support her but maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see.

Maybe she really doesn't want me and my presence only makes everything harder for her to deal with, I don't know what else to think and my mom's words are starting to sound very vague in my head because I don't think I've had the kind of patience that this situation requires of me anymore or if I ever did in the first place.

She closes the book with a loud thud but I still don't look up, I can only look at her resentful and hatred eyes for a bunch of times in one day.

"Hey" she snatches the phone from my hands and quickly takes a couple of steps back. "Give me my phone back, don't go through my texts. Just give it back."

Of course she doesn't listen and of course she reads all the texts before looking back up. I'm not afraid, there is nothing wrong with the texts. I've been speaking with friends, trying to convince them that I'm alright and that even if doesn't look like it, I'm still in a relationship with Quinn.

"Michelle, Cristina, Claire, Mary, Cindy, Laura… Santana?" she throws my phone on the bed with a hurt expression. For a moment I think about staying quiet but the look of emotion on her face gives me an in.

"She's been asking about you, she's worried and doesn't know a thing besides what I tell her. Since you've decided to cut her out of your life she's been making sure that you at least are alive"

"And the rest of those girls? What do they want with you?"

"I thought you read the texts?"

"And waste my time reading those whores' words?"

"Like you waste your time in anything anymore" I sit back down on the head of the bed and grab my phone. She comes dangerously close and throws my phone to the floor.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

There are tears willing up in her eyes and I stop. My heart breaks at the sight of her tears but I'm lost, I don't know what to do and every time she looks at me there is anger and hate in her eyes. All the hope I had last week has slipped out of my hands in the last three days.

"Nothing, I'm sorry"

"You can leave if you want. I'm not asking you to be here, I want you gone, I told you in the hospital and I'm telling you again now"

"I- I don't" and my heart breaks, my voice breaks, I feel like my entire body is giving in on me.

"What do those girls want with you?"

"Nothing" my voice is broken, the knot in my throat is making it almost impossible to breathe but somehow I manage.

"What do they want?"

"To talk, they just want to talk"

"Talk?" she laughs bitterly as I stand from the bed, I don't want to feel so damn insignificant, "do you I'm think stupid?"

"Of course not"

"Do you really think that those girls just want to talk to you? That they don't have hidden motives to be texting you?"

"I don't know"

"You don't know?"

"I just want to talk to them, nothing more. I don't care what they want, I just want to talk"

"You could talk to me!"

She hides her face from my eyes as soon as the words leave her mouth. I take a deep breath, it doesn't help and the tears run down my cheeks before I can register it. I want to scream in frustration, I want to grab her shoulders and shake her, scream in her face how bad I've been trying to get her to talk to me and how dare she to scream those words on my face, but I don't and she doesn't move as I sit back down on the edge of the bed.

I feel defeat it.

"I can't" I cry as fear runs through me faster than nothing has ever before.

"Have you been screwing them?" she suddenly asks.

"I've been locked with you in this room so unless I did it on top of you, then I'm sure that no, I haven't"

"Well no one's asking you to be here"

"I know! I fucking know! Damn it!" she's scared by the tone of my voice but she doesn't step back when I stand up. "Don't you understand that I can't not be with you! Why do you make everything so damn difficult? Why?"

"Because I can't stand looking at you! You represent everything I wanted and every time that I see you all I can think about is how she'd have looked like!"

We both stop and as she falls on the bed sobbing, I stand motionless. My breath is hectic, my eyes are unfocused and everything I hear are her words. A few weeks ago, when everything was okay she told me how she'd love our kid to look like me and I haven't thought about that until now.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"It doesn't matter" she cries but I don't turn around. I stare at her chair by the window without being able to move an inch.

"You should have told me, I'd have understood"

"No, you wouldn't have but now you know. Does it make you feel any better?"

"No."

We both cry and for the first time I don't go running to her, I don't even touch her or offer her any kind of consolation while she does. For the first time I don't think that I can offer her anything besides more tears and it kills me, I feel like dying.

"You should have told me" I whisper again as she takes deep breaths every few seconds. I sit on the carpeted floor and cross my legs, placing my hands on top of my knees. I need to control all these feelings or at least the raging pain in my chest.

"You should have gone when I told you to do so"

"I can't"

"You'll live"

"Life is not appealing knowing you'll be away."

She huffs a humorless laugh and I look back. She looks at me and the sight of her pained face makes me wish for a different life, for the first time ever I regret everything that happened with us.

I regret throwing that party with my brother when our parents went to New York, I regret allowing Dave to bring alcohol into our house, I regret getting drunk, dancing with Quinn, follow her lead and end up in bed with her.

I regret everything for what I have cost her.

"I really fucked everything up, didn't I?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your life. Our lives, probably our futures" she looks away from my face and I look back down to my lap. Everything was fun and perfect when she was still pregnant but I never thought about what it'd have been like if my parents didn't support us back then. Where would be right now?

"It takes two, you know?"

"But only one to fuck all up and it wasn't you. Do you really mean it? When you ask me to leave? Do you really mean it or you just say those things?"

She doesn't answer right away and the longer she takes to speak the hardest I cry in silence. I've been so stupid and it embarrasses me to no end.

"I thought I did" her raspy voice almost makes me want to turn around but I don't, "I really believed that I didn't want you here but then I realized that I wouldn't have anybody if you leave and it scares me but somehow I keep asking you to leave"

"So what? I'm kind of a consolation price to you? Something to make you feel good about yourself? A puppy you can just throw a bone whenever you feel like it?"

"Something like that" I can hear the sarcasm on her voice but I don't comment on it.

"I lost a baby too, you know?"

"Don't talk about the baby" her voice drops as she warns me but I don't stop and I turn around to fully face her this time.

"It was my baby as well, we made her together, my blood ran through her veins as well. She was mine as much as she was yours"

"Stop it"

"You want to know what I talk about with those girls?" I don't give her a chance to answer as I move close to her and trap her in her seated position with my arms on her sides when she tries to stand up, "this are the things that they ask. How I feel, how I'm doing, if I need anything. Have you ever even thought about how I'm feeling during all this time, Quinn? Have you?"

"I'm sorry if I wasn't paying you much attention but I just happened to have gone through the most traumatizing experience of my life a couple of weeks ago!"

"Attention! Attention, Quinn? Like the one I've been giving you? We are supposed to be there for each other. I knew it was going to be challenging the minute it happened because I know you but after all this time and you keep throwing me out like that?. My faith is shattered, I don't know if I trust us anymore and it fucking kills me 'cause I want you forever!"

"Now you know me?"

"I thought I did, I thought I had you figured out. I thought you love me but now I wander all the time. I've plucked fucking petals of roses wondering for fucks sake!" I stand up and turn my back on her again.

I can't get it together, I cry and let out the sobs that rip through my throat. I don't think I have much power left, I feel drained, emotionally and physically. I want to stop, I need a break.

"I do love you" it's barely a whisper but I hear it and even if I fight it back I can feel all the hope building up inside of me again because… because she loves me, just like the last petal of that rose told me she did.

"I love you and every time I say something awful I die a little bit more inside" I look at her and find her red eyes midway, "but you never leave, you never say anything mean. No one has ever been as loyal as you've been to me and I love you so much more for that, I love you but it kills me-" a sob rips through her and she has to take deep breaths to calm down before she speaks again "-it kills me to look at your eyes and face you after what happened. I let you down, I let everyone down and you still look at me the same way you did before, like I deserve everything even your forgiveness and I don't"

"You deserve everything" I kneel in front of her and pull her into a hug that she finally returns. I cry harder when I feel her arms surrounding me this way, her hot face pressed against my neck and her fists clinging on my clothes.

"I need you" she whispers and I kiss her cheek.

"I need you too. I love you so much"

"Please, Rachel. Please, forgive me. I didn't mean to."

As I press my lips against her cheek again I realize that this isn't about me trying to convince her that she didn't do anything but her hearing me say those words that she so desperately needs to hear.

"I forgive you even though I _know_ you didn't do anything wrong" her response is immediate, her arms wrap tighter around me and she cries harder than I've heard her cry before.

We lay on the bed, her face still under my chin as we enjoy the moment of peace.

"I miss her" her voice breaks the silence and I kiss her temple.

"Me too, I miss you both"

"I feel so guilty"

"Don't"

"Please, don't ever go. Promise me" she's looking right into my eyes as she asks me and I press my lips against hers. It's barely a peck but I haven't kissed her in so long that it becomes the best kiss I've shared and I cup her face with my hand, forcing her to look at me as I speak.

"I'll never leave your side, I promise you."

…

_My God! Thank you so much for your reviews and feedback. I have to say that this chapter drained me -emotionally speaking- even though it came out being really short. Thanks for reading ;) don't forget to review! _


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY ONE **

**SLIPPED AWAY**

**Rachel's POV**

I wake up from a dreamless sleep to the feeling of being watched and as I turn my head to the right I find Quinn wide awake and looking at me. For a moment I get scared that she might be upset but she places a finger on my lips before I ask what time it is and then her lips replace her finger and we kiss.

I don't move or try to deepen the kiss, afraid that she'd pull back from me and the kiss doesn't evolve into anything more than a pressing of lips anyway but it's enough to turn me into a breathless mess. I've missed her lips more than I can say.

"I love you"

"Quinn, I-"

"No" she quiets me with a tender tone and her finger on my lips, "I want you to listen to me, okay? Please?"

I watch her, trying to detect something beyond the incredible guilt that surrounds her but I find nothing. I nod and her hand cups my face before she speaks again.

"I'm so, so sorry Rachel, for everything." I want to speak, tell her that she doesn't own me any apologies but I don't interrupt her knowing how hard it is for her to open up.

"I was never good at expressing my feelings, I never even let myself accept that I was attracted to you until I was pregnant with your child," her voice cracks as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, I caress her cheek with the back of my fingers silently telling her that I love her.

"And look how well that turned out. I accused you of rape, I called you names and I was ready to lie to Finn and stay with him out of fear"

"I love you" I finally interrupt her, she smiles sadly and runs her finger on my bottom lip, her eyes watery.

"I know and you must know that I love you just as much if not more."

There's a pause, she looks down and her hand comes to play with the hem of the neck of my shirt on my chest. She breathes in deeply three times before her eyes focus on me again after having regained her control.

"I was always afraid that I was going to end in a loveless marriage just like my parents and I accepted it. I created this whole image in my head of what a perfect wife would be like and my mom filled everything else with what I was supposed to do to get married with a nice Christian man and then you came into my life." She smiles and I lean up to brush my lips against hers.

"It took me a while to grasp the concept, I admit I was terrified to love you but I didn't have a choice. You offered me the chance to be happy, to have my own family, to be who I am comfortable being and you never pass any judgment. You just loved me and I couldn't help to fall for you."

"I still do"

"And you still do even after the last couple of weeks, you still do. Please understand that I'm not ready to let go, that it might take me longer than we both imagined but I don't want to lose you" she has started crying again.

"You'll never lose me, Quinn"

"I know that you're hurting as well and it kills me to have caused you this amount of pain and I know I've been selfish and a bitch but it kills me-" she sobs as I take a sitting position and pull her closer to me, "-it rips me to shreds every time I think about it"

"I know baby"

"-we didn't even get that picture of her, nothing! We have nothing to remember her!"

I let her cry on my shoulder, I murmur that I love her in her ear every minute and rock her body back and forth trying to comfort her. I understand that she needs more time to really grasp what happened but I'm not going anywhere and now that she's starting to open up I love her even more for it. I'm not living her side.

After a while she's no longer crying, her arms are hugging my waist and her breathing has gone back to normal.

"I like this better" her raspy voice speaks.

"What, baby?"

"Being with you" she pulls back to look at me and cups my face with both hands, I instantly lean on her touch, how I've missed her hands. "talk with you, cry with you and more than anything, kissing you."

She kisses me and I return the soft affection thinking once again that I'm the luckiest person on earth for having her in my arms today and every other day.

"Don't give up on me" she whispers against my lips and I kiss her again.

"Never."

"This place doesn't feel like home."

I support her decision to go back to my parent's house and it doesn't take us long to pack our clothes and load them in the truck of my car.

My mom is delighted to have us back in our house, although dad is a little wary around Quinn and Noah is not his usual talkative self but it does feel different to be here, better different and I've already seen Quinn smiled three times and that's more than she's smiled in the past week.

"I changed the sheets as soon as you told me you were coming back" my mom smiles as she joins us in our bedroom.

"Thank you, Shelby" I murmur a thanks to my mom as well but my attention is focused on my girlfriend and the way she seems to be taking everything in all over again.

A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips and when her eyes fall on me that little smile turns into a full one, her eyes sparkle and her shoulders visibly drop all the tension she's been holding.

"I'll start with dinner while you two unpack" my mom is still smiling, happy that we're back and I love her all the more for that.

"It won't take long to unpack, I'll be right down to help you" my girlfriend offers and my mom practically skips the room with a bounce on her step.

"I love your mom"

"I love _you_" I get close and wrap my arms around her waist as she smiles freely for the first time in a long time and as I press my lips against hers I know that by coming back _home_ things are already changing, maybe not going back to what they were but definitely looking much better.

"I love my mom too" I shrug and she giggles before pecking my lips again.

We do unpack our clothes and more than once I find Quinn staring off into space. I want to ask what's wrong but it would be insensitive from my part, instead I decide to wait and her small smiles remind me that she's trying, she told me to give her time and I will do that for her.

We both help my mom with dinner and eat with the whole family once it's ready; we even take care of the dishes against my mom's wishes to have us in bed as soon as she can.

She takes a shower while I finish my math's homework and when I come out of the shower myself I find her curled up on our bed crying. For a moment fear blinds me and a part of me wants to believe that everything was fake, that she didn't feel safe at all here but then I remember her words again and I know that she wasn't lying, she was trying, she still is.

I climb on the bed and hug her against my body as tight as I can, she cries harder on my chest but eventually we both fall sleep.

…

I wake up to an empty bed and it's not until I hear Quinn's soft voice speaking that my heart rate goes back to normal.

"Good morning" I get out of bed as she comes out of the bathroom with her cellphone in her hands.

"Morning" she doesn't come to me, deciding on leaning against the wall instead. I give her space.

"Something wrong?" I tentatively ask.

"I called Santana," she admits and her eyes meet mine, she worries her bottom lip on her teeth, a sign that she's nervous, "she's coming over in a few minutes."

I want to congratulate her and hug her, tell her how happy I am but I just smile at her and she smiles back. We get ready quickly, she doesn't lock herself in the bathroom to change and I don't take advantage of that fact either so I keep my eyes focused solely on two shirts while deciding which one to wear today.

"The white one"

"What?" I turn around to find her smiling fondly at me. I instantly smile back, her happiness making me feel all giddy inside.

"Wear the white one, I love that color on you" she caresses my cheek before slipping out of the room, leaving me a nervous mess and looking at the way she just left.

God! I love that woman.

When I get downstairs my parents have already left and my girlfriend is sitting in the living room with her best friend.

"What's going on?" Puck whispers from behind me.

"They're just talking"

"I think I hear sniffles" we both get out from behind the adjacent wall to the hallway and true to his words Santana is sniffling while Quinn cries and by the sounds coming out from her mouth I can tell that she's speaking but I don't really understand a single word she's trying to say.

Without a second thought I walk inside the living room, their hands are clasped in a tight grip; both are crying and still talking or mumbling. My heart goes out to Santana, she is a really great friend and she's proven that on many occasions in the last couple of weeks.

Even though Quinn was obviously avoiding her, she never stopped asking about her, she even gave me a few tips to how to start conversations and such, she's been there for her and I know that Quinn is aware of that.

I look up to see my twin slipping out through the front door, I'm sure he was scared by all the tears right now. I don't blame him, I'm also scared.

"Baby?" she sobs before she pulls me closer to her, somehow I end up sitting between them and I hold her to my side.

"I'm sorry" she sobs on my shoulder as her hands grip my shirt.

"I love you" I hear a chuckle and look at Santana on my left, she's still crying but she's also smiling and suddenly I realize that they're sharing happy tears. I feel relieved in a way.

"I love you too, please hold San as well"

"Come here you" I open my arm and Santana's body is suddenly pressed against my side. She actually laughs and slaps my stomach as I whisper as soft thank you on her ear.

…

School becomes a bit more bearable, Quinn is happier and I'm happy to see her that way. She told me that she wants to go back to Glee Club but that was a couple of days ago but still, I can't deny that I love her decision to go back where our friends are.

Life finally seems to be going back to normal, my girlfriend is spending time with her best friend, and her eyes are no longer stuck to the floor when she walks by, she's smiling and most importantly we're starting to rebuild our fragile relationship from scratch.

It's been a good week and I hope we can only move forward after this, going back to my parent's was really the best decision we could have made as it seems to have made an incredible change on her demeanor already.

When I walk inside the Choir room I find Puck, Santana, Tina and Quinn standing by the piano, the rest of the club in chattering by the chairs, our couch is not in yet.

My girlfriend offers me a small, almost shy smile when she spots me and I walk to her.

"Where were you at lunch?" I ask once I'm close enough to kiss her forehead and hold her hands.

"You'll find out in a few" she looks to her right where my twin is wiggling his eyebrows at us.

"He's gross" I chuckle as Santana supports my girlfriend's comment by gagging on air.

"Really gross" Tina ads and Puck flies her a kiss, much to her disdain.

"How was your day?"

"Uneventful, I missed you" she hugs me, resting her head on my shoulder. I hug her closely, marveling at the way our bodies fit together and how complete I feel when I have her close to me. My chest feels heavy, like I can't contain all the things I'm feeling at the moment but content to hurt in such a way.

"I missed you too. Maybe you should stop missing lunch" I smile as she pulls back and cups my face with both hands, my own resting on her waist.

"I love you"

"I love you too" both confessions feel like the first time and as she presses her lips against mine in a chaste kiss she takes my breath away, literally.

"Sorry I'm late" our Coach walks in clapping his hand to gain our attention and we pull back from each other but don't brake contact as we hold hands and take our sits on the first raw of chairs.

"I want to start by giving Quinn and Rachel a warm welcoming. Glee Club was not the same without you guys and we couldn't be more happy to have you back" he smiles sincerely and for the first time I don't feel embarrassed for what is coming out of his mouth. He often is a good teacher, a good guy? Not so much.

Everyone around agrees with our teacher and even Finn flashes a smile at our direction, making Quinn a little confused and me in the process.

"This is for you" Quinn whispers in my ear right before she kisses my cheek and stands up from her chair.

As Puck, Santana and Tina follow her I finally realize what she's been doing this week at lunch period. I know my girlfriend loves to perform but I didn't expect her to go back to it so soon. Mr. Schuester smiles at me as he takes a sit by my side and I also realize that he was well aware of the performance.

"I have something I need to tell you in front of our friends" Quinn catches my attention again and I really look at her. There is not a single trade of the old Quinn in her, she's completely changed. Not only she seems more relaxed but she also looks more humble. Her hair is not up in a perfect ponytail anymore, her curls fall down her shoulders, framing her face and adding to her beauty. She wears a casual outfit, jeans, a flower print shirt and flat boots, her cheerleading outfit and provocative attires forgotten. She is a different person and I know that the change not only applies to her exterior but also her interior.

Suddenly her eyes turn more vulnerable than before and I remember how hard it is for her to open up and I want to go and stand right next to her so she doesn't have to do this by herself but Santana steps forward and holds her hand instead, giving her the support we both know she needs.

"I didn't believe you" she begins and chuckles to herself, "I didn't believe a word you said in the hospital. That was my first mistake. I am a guarded person, I don't give in easily and I don't let all the people know me for who I really am because I've been thought that that makes you vulnerable and easy to take down."

"I was afraid, still am. I've never had someone like you in my life before and the thought of losing you was enough to make me want to be better. Shelby said the other night that you've changed, that you've become a better person because of me and that she was thankful."

Puck giggles behind her back and Santana smirks as my girlfriend smiles fondly at the memory.

"She didn't realize how you changed me because she didn't know me before you came in to my life so I told her, I said 'you wouldn't be thanking me if you had known me before I was living under this roof and that it was me the one who should be thanking her because of the chance you've giving me'."

I stand up and walk to her, I don't care about the people around me and what they're thinking, all I care about it Quinn so I hold her because I know, I know how we've grown, how we've changed and how we've learned each other so well.

"I'm sorry" she cups my face, "I'm sorry for everything I said, for the way I behaved, for how I treaded you. I love you and I trust you with all my heart, I love you."

"I love you too" I kiss her and it's the first kiss that we share that it evolves into something more than just a peck. "I love you, forever."

"Forever" she repeats before we kiss again.

"You guys" Kurt squeals and I remember we're in the choir room and definitely not alone.

"There something else"

"What?" I ask as she looks at Tina who is sitting on the stool by the piano and starts to play a soft melody.

"I found the way to start" she says vaguely as she guides me to my seat again. "You were right, all I need is to give it a chance and I'm starting today. Santana made me listen to this song against my will -I must say- but I'm grateful she did it."

I recognize the song instantly even though is a softer melody than the original, Puck starts streaming behind Santana as she harmonizes and then Quinn's voice fills the room. I've heard the song, Santana also sent it to my phone and before I even notice I'm crying when I see my girlfriend's hands on her belly.

_Na na na na na na_

_I miss you, I miss you so bad_

_I don't forget you, oh it's so sad_

_I hope you can hear me_

_I remember it clearly_

_The day you slipped away_

_was the day_

_I found it won't be the same, oh_

Her eyes find mine and I walk to her. I take her hands and together we sing of the song. I kiss her cheeks and urge her to keep going, Santana joins us in a moment but I'm too overwhelmed to know exactly when.

_I had my wake up_

_won't you wake up_

_I keep asking why_

_and I can't take it_

_it wasn't fake it_

_it happened you passed by_

_Now you're gone, now you're gone_

_there you go, there you go_

_somewhere I can't bring you back _

_Now you're gone, now you're gone_

_there you go, there you go_

_somewhere you're not coming back _

We don't finish the song, we're both crying, her face is already hiding in my neck even before everyone surrounds us in a supportive collective hug, everyone but Finn.

I see him looking at us, his eyes show regret but his body language is still a little hostile. I don't know what he was thinking when he went to Quinn's house or what he was expecting but I hope he knows that whatever his intentions, he still meant no good and Quinn might see pass his mistake but I won't.

"I love you" I whisper in Quinn's ear as I also wrap my arm around Santana who is the closest to us, "thank you for doing this. We'll get through this, I promise."

She kisses me and I don't feel like I'm making an empty promise anymore. We will be alright, I can see it clearly now.

…

_Time to look forward, only one chapter left and it's an epilogue. Thank you for your reviews, they still amaze me and thank you for taking this ride with me again. _

_The song is 'Slipped away' by Avril Lavigne._

_Don't forget to drop a review. _


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